101 More Things About Me You Don't Need To Know.

By Alison June 23, 2007 22 Comments 9 Min Read

But I’m vain enough to want to share.
Forgive my introspection. I’m trying to remember who I am.

1. The pink cardigan I am wearing in the picture above is my favorite garment in the the world. (My Mum has wonderful taste). I have loved it into holes.

2. There are knickers in my drawer I have owned for seventeen years.  Yes. I’m cringing too.

3. I sometimes find myself struck dumb in conversation. I’m not half as articulate in real life as I am on paper.

4.  I burn cakes on a weekly basis. It is the ovens fault.

5.  Thunder and  lightening makes me cry. And yes I know it’s only God playing bowls…

6.  I like reality TV more than I should. I suspect it makes me a bad person.

7. I  pout in pictures. If there is a camera in the vicinity, I’m there: pouting.   Somebody show me how to smile.

8. My favorite thing in the world is going to the tip with my dad. It reminds me of being a little girl.

9. When I was seven I had a teacher called Mr Hadaway. He lent me his ancient copy of The Hobbit and I have loved reading ever since. He taught me what it is to have faith in someones abilities. To believe they can.

10. Cooking fish terrifies me. I’m convinced I’ll kill whoever I inflict it on.

11.  You mustn’t  touch my belly button. I will hit you if you do.

12. Blame Helen. She once shoved a fork in it.

13. I was a runner up in the Elle Magazine Talent Competition when I was 18. They invited me to The Groucho Club,  but my Mum wouldn’t let me go. Mother!!

14. When I  closed my eyes as a child I could see  an old lady in a velvet  cloche talking to me.  But I could never hear what she was saying. She’s gone now and I miss her.

15.  There is always  a candle burning somewhere in my house.

16. I disappoint myself on a regular basis. Terrible thing is disappointment.

17.  Sometimes the mess Finley makes, makes me want to scream out loud. I can’t live with it, yet often find myself too tired to do anything about it.

18.  I won a place on  a  prestigious  knitwear design degree course  when I was nineteen. Couldn’t knit then. Can’t knit now. But apparently my inability to knit wasn’t an issue as I was texturally inclined. I didn’t go. Being technically incompetent scared me.

19. Sadly I’m falling out of love with magazines. Its been a life long affair.

20.  If I don’t like  a person I can’t look them in the eye. It’s an affliction I despise in myself.

21. I like eating corn on the cob drowning in so much butter it runs down my chin.

22. I do the internet dating thing. It makes my mum want to punch me.

23. I’m not as green as I should be. I put an empty tin of beans in the bin yesterday and  I can’t  stop worrying about it.

24.  Somebody needs to tell me that swinging a pretty bra from a doorknob does not a decorated house make. Especially when its a not so delicate size 38dd…
25. I am a member of the happy happy world of Haribo. I looooove jelly sweets.
26. My sense of  “home” is integral to who I am, but it isn’t wrapped in bricks and mortar. I could leave here tomorrow.
27. I’m not remotely political but my sense of what is right and wrong is well-honed.
28. My teenage diaries make me laugh. I love that teenage me. She didn’t know how pretty she was.
29. I’m not sure what kind of car  I drive. But I know it’s a scrumptious shade of minty green.
30. I’m five foot seven tall. Just in case you have ever wondered.
31. I would have received a first class honours degree were it not for the fact that I failed  the computer element of my course.  Oh the irony of it
32. Buy me sunflowers and you have bought me a little bit of happiness.
33. I’ve taken up ordering pizza on a Friday night and throwing myself a little party.
34. I adore the fragrance of old fashioned face powder.
35.  My Nana had a pair of snakeskin platform shoes I  still covet today.
36. I suffer from blog envy. It isn’t healthy.
37. I have a gold tooth. Finley calls it my mouth earring.
38. I never watch the news. Never, ever, never.
39.  I quite fancy Russell Brand. Is that wrong??
40. I’m aching to wash my hair in Vosene. Just for a trip down memory lane.
41. I can’t get enough of white tea at the moment. It is delicate- like me…lol.
42. I can’t be dealing with people who litter their textual conversation with nonsensical nonsense like lol. What’s all that about??  Lol.x
43. When I worked as an interior designer I was constantly irked by my clients notion that the right wallpaper would make their house a home.
44.  Finley lies on my head a lot. It isn’t comfortable, but  I can hear his heartbeat.
45.  Watching re-runs of the The Rugrats on video is my most secret vice.
46. Actually thats not true.
47. I  never wear a watch.
48. I go to bed when I’m tired. Whether its 8.00 in the evening or 2.00 in the morning. I’m good at listening to my body.
49. I once told my parents there was a petrol station on fire around the corner, and lo and behold, when we got around the corner, there was a petrol station on fire. Plainly I was a spooky kid.
50. I carry a glass of water to bed every evening and never, ever drink it.
51. I fall into besottment (yes, I made that word up) very easily,  (and out of it twice as quick!) but I’ve only been in love twice.
52. I’m just mad about (Saffron) carrot cake. But not with sultanas thank you very much.
53. I consider dried fruit to be the work of the devil.
54. I don’t think I’m anywhere near my creative peak. Give me ten years and help me shake off my appalling laziness and damaging fear of success…
55. I’m astonished by other womens interest in material possessions.
56. I spend more money on food and wine than I do anything else. It is the stuff of life.
57.  I don’t believe in saving for a rainy day. But occasionally I wish I did.
58. I can’t bear the sound of other people breathing. Most unfortunate it is.
59. I fall in love with creative women a lot. I don’t want to sleep with them. I just want to know how it feels to be them. How their minds work.
60.  I would sell my soul for an antique Aubusson rug.
61.   I want to marry a man like him with the big moustache from Its Not Easy Being Green. Someone with ideals. And dreams. And a creative mind I am astonished by. Oh and can-do. Yes, thats what I want: a man with can-do
62. I once spilt a whole can of cream emulsion on a clients new sisal flooring. And nearly threw up in sheer horror.
63. Three hours after Finley was born by ceasarean section, I remember watching Mark sitting in the hospital armchair reading a newspaper, and knowing then that things weren’t how they should be.
64. I’m not a very good Yummy Mummy. I can’t be dealing with discussing sleeping patterns and faddy eating habits. I get bored and say naughty things just to change the subject.
65.  I say naughty things  a lot. My mouth runs away with me.
66.  I could eat watercress  till it grew out of my ears.
67. I feel like a fake. One day someone is going to catch me out.
68.  My kitchen is falling down. Tis a depressing state of affairs.
69.  I don’t want Finley to be an only child. The thought of it breaks my heart.
70. The rudest woman I ever worked for wanted me to go the toilet in the field behind her house rather than use one of the six beautiful bathrooms in her house. Oh those Goddamn Nouveau Riche
71. I have the most appalling knees.
72. I cannot abide sunbathing. Drives me doo-lally.
73. Sunglasses make my nose ache. So I wear them on my head and squint a lot.
74. I trust the universe implicitly.
75. Plonk me in the corner of an art gallery and I’m happy.
76. I’m a people watcher. Constantly offering them imagined lives and noting their quirkiest traits down, ready to inflict them on the characters in the novel I’m writing in my dreams.
77. My fridge died last week and every scrap of food had to be thrown away. It struck me as bizarrely liberating.
78. Intelligence excites me.
79.  Never lend me anything. I will l-o-s-e  it.
80.  I’m a talc fiend.  I sprinkle it all over the place and tell visitors  Finley ran riot with the  lavender scented Johnsons.
81.  I never eat breakfast cereal.  Thats not normal is it?
82. When The Daily Mail came to photograph the house last week I shoved the laundry into bin bags and dragged it out into the car. Please don’t tell anyone.
83.  I am more relaxed  having an afternoon bo-bose on my Mums sofa than I am anywhere else. It makes me feel safe.
84.  I wasn’t that fussed on Paris.  Give me the Lake district anyday. Am I missing some kind of romantic gene?
85.  I love poetry. But I can’t listen to it spoken out loud.  I can’t hear it that way. I need somehow to internalise it to understand it. And more than that I don’t want the character of she who reads it to taint the meaning  I bring to it.
86.  I don’t believe in organised childrens activities. Finley is left to his own devices   much of the time and his imagination knows no bounds.
87. I used to paint my lips  Paloma Picasso red and pretend I was one of Robert Palmers backing singers in the video to “Addicted To Love”…
88. I can’t remember who I was between the ages of 25 and 29. Where did I go then? They are my lost years.
89. Watching Anthea Turner shape a towel into a turtle in her very silly housekeeping  programme made me want to burn my pinny in housewifely shame.
90. I want to be Helen and steal all her beautiful clothes.
91. I never look at my reflection head on in the mirror… I kind of slope up on myself.
92.  I like modern art: or at least I like the idea of having to think about it. To layer it with my own emotions and make sense of it in any way I can. I like being forced to think.

93.   I am my own worst enemy. Always have been. I swear I go out of my way to thwart relationships and creative endeavours.

94. I’m a different person to who I was  last year though aren’t I?  I love it that you know me.
95.  I can’t do long division.

96. I’m turning into a Youtube addict. People are just sooooo crazy. I love it.
97. My arms aren’t as hairy as they used to be. Why? Has life sandpapered them smooth? Why isn’t life sandpapering my legs or my godforsaken bikini line??

98. I used to play Gregorian chant music all the time in my little shop. It was a nice place to be.

99. But I was the worst shopkeeper in the world.
100. Life hurts.
101. But I can’t remember being this content before…



  1. Gill says:

    Gorgeous photo…and I love finding out about people so thanks for telling. I share quite a few of your quirks BTW (hehe).

  2. paola says:

    Have I missed something about the Daily Mail?

  3. mimi says:

    I have only got as far as number five and…
    I LOVE that cardigan! And your comment about 'loving it to holes'!
    Lightning makes me cry too! And my Mum used to tell me it was God playing bowls!
    It seems like we are still clicking!
    So when do I need to buy the Daily Mail?

  4. mimi says:

    oh gosh, number 19 as well! I have not bought She, or Eve, or Easy Living….or any of them this month!
    And Gregorian Chants- I always used to sleep to that !
    I suspect there will be many others on your list, but I won't comment on them lest there are 101 comments from me!

  5. Gayla says:

    How cool were these! Fun to know you just a tidge bit better, day by day.

  6. Oh, I just knew it – that contentment was rounding your corner! You ARE different (better) than a year ago. No fakes here. You are my favorite read!! And I'm laughing hysterically at exactly how many of those silly things I relate to! Blessings…

  7. Lisa says:

    Love the list, Daily Mail, when?…by the way, I read something in The Times the other day claiming that talc might be carcinogenic? The person that made the querry was advised not to use it on children. Shocked me!

  8. Amy says:

    I can relate to alot of your points, thanks for sharing your innermost thoughts about yourself, I enjoyed reading them.

  9. Jennifer says:

    I love your list, but I'm heartbroken that you don't like Anthea's show. They showed it for a week in the USA and I was inspired to clean this place up from top to bottom. I hate that we don't have it anymore!

  10. Amy Wagner says:

    A super wonderful post. I so like reading your ways of phrasing things differntly than I —bin bag; me, trash bag—knickers; me, undies or panties—pinny; me, ?. What is a pinny anyway? Tell me please! I want to know.

  11. Brigitta says:

    this totally cracked me up!! What's scary is that I recognize too many things 😉

  12. Sarah says:

    Good list lady and fab cardi!!!
    Plus – no it isn't wrong to have a crush on Russell Brand. I know it is inexplicable, but the man makes me come over all unnecessary too…!

  13. Mari says:

    Please – WILL SOMEONE TAKE PITY ON US: WHEN TO GET DAILY MAIL – or did we miss it?????

  14. Grace says:

    I love these listy posts – especially since I identify with so many of the things you list.

  15. #58…me too, me too…I thought I was just weird…but I am…and #82 made me giggle out loud…

  16. miss jane says:

    am laughing like a drain…have come across this entiely by accident, looking for 50's images for my yr10 art class who are designing domestic goddess tea towels. am desperate to use brocantehome for my yr12 women's studies – it epitomises the righness of gender difference. it empowers because it is so female.

  17. Mama P says:

    Oh my God, woman, this blog is so good. Sometimes we have to tell ourselves we are good enough and let success in. Just being us. Just being here. Just doing what we do and following our own beat. That is enough. ENOUGH. Now go out there and get rich and famous.

  18. Ali says:

    It's wonderful to not only know yourself so well, but to have the brass ovaries to throw it out there for the World's inspection.
    I can relate to no's 32, 34, 48, 55, 64, 74 and 86! And I once knew a surgeon who played Gregorian chants in the operating room while he was working! Ha!
    Ali aka Alison aka Housebug aka Stormyweathers (I firmly believe in having an alias for every occasion) xx

  19. Hope says:

    No 63: I know. My little one was barely two when even I couldn't pretend things were going to be all right any more. My husband came home from work early on July 4 (Independence Day, what irony, but it has after all been independence for me) to break the news that he didn't feel like being married any more. Horrid moment, it seemed the clocks should stop and the walls fall down, but it was only what had been brewing for a long time, wishing wouldn't make it go away. A decade-plus later it's all right. Being an only child has done my younster no harm. I have inwardly howled for the children I wasn't going to have after all, but I took to heart the mild rebuke from a childless friend – to be glad for the one I have.
    In the early days after the divorce I felt the sense of failure in every room, but now this little house is our lovely haven. I can have my colours and pretty things and almost-antiques and books everywhere, without having to bargain for it or explain myself. It's a revolving door with my pre-teen's friends, especially in the summer when bicycles clutter the driveway. The garden WILL be beautiful, it's a mess right now but it is my mess and a little muscle and tlc will put it right.
    Don't worry about the little one, he has you, and things have a way of getting better.
    I love this site, clever you!
    (And don't people know what a pinny is any more? My mother and I made several together, my early sewing projects – one each for my dolls. In the sixties they could be bought at every church bazaar and I thought they were lovely. I wanted retro even before it was retro.)

  20. Hope says:

    Whoops – that was ALL about me. Carried away by enthusiam for this lovely site and your disarming frankness. It's the sense of sisterhood (never had a sister) at finding such taste, elegance and homey comforts all in one delightful package.
    Fondly, from your new devotee,
    Hope (& Faith & Charity, another multiple-alias)

  21. Ken says:

    I stumbled on to this site to look for a hug picture to send to a sad friend and then read this and brought me a smile. Raw, real an all you. Thank you for putting a smile where there was one.

  22. ralph says:

    so i'm a few years late
    who gives a damn
    dont know if youll even see the comment
    but i do love #85
    quite a bit

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