Attention Seeker.

By Alison April 22, 2007 10 Comments 2 Min Read


I have sinusitis. I feel like I’ve gone three rounds with an eniment Hollywood plastic surgeon without the joy of crow free eyes and my very own trout pout.

It is making me cross and a teeny bit crazy.

I sat in Tesco’s car park yesterday reading a poetry book and wondering whether I’d finally lost my marbles. I tried to weedle sympathy out of Mark who merely muttered that I appeared to be wearing my top on inside out and told me to visit the doctor about my head. (Not sure what he meant by that so decided to ignore it). I rang my Mum three hundred times and did my best to remain unresponsive to the irritation in her voice before insisting that she hand delivered some ibuprofren and applied some Motherly love to my fevered brow. I boiled two perfect milky white eggs by leaving them sitting in a pan of hot water for half an hour without switching the gas on, and ate them in a state of near nirvana, sprinkled in coarse ground black pepper and sliced to perfection on one of Finn’s nursery rhyme plates. I cried at the plight of a little boy on Casualty, drank oodles of strawberry juice all day long, learnt everything I will ever need to know about vintage species of clematis in an ancient garden book and felt like I was oooh, this close to going completely off my swollen head.

And it is all because I have never learned to blow my nose properly. No really. I am thirty five and I can’t blow my nose because I fear my eyeballs will fall out. So I sniff in an uncouth manner, shove  lengths of kitchen roll up my sleeve like I plan on using it and  inflict upon myself a million red hot pokers in my cheekbones and teeth that feel like I could spit them out with my toothpaste.

But enough already. Today I have recovered the teeniest degree of sanity. It is raining for the first time in about ten years and on my baby tomatoes behalf I am thrilled. After two weeks of running about doing goodness knows what, we are at last, staying in. Snuggled up in blankets with a tray of child size treats between us (Cubes of red cheese, Pom bears, cherry tomatoes, bite sized chocolate macaroons, and more scrumptious strawberry juice ) and Finley, bless his little snub nose, has agreed to teach me how to use a hankerchief…

Any tips?


  1. Well the first thing to do is make sure that your handkerchief is sprayed lightly with your favourite perfume or linen water! And if you favour tissues, Marks and Spencers do these divine lavender scented ones, printed with tiny sprigs of lavender. Happy blowing!

  2. Lynda says:

    ooh, this is a subject I know something about 🙁
    Steam… lots of it! If you have menthol crystals or vapour rub, plonk some in a bowl of boiling water after getting yourself a nice fluffy towel. Head over bowl while water still hot (not too close, now!) towel over head. Emerge, redfaced and spluttering. Carry on for as long as you can and as often as you can. This dilutes the gunk and enables it to flow through the sinuses. But it has the side effect of clearing the pores as well. (And the virus don't like the rise in temperature. Not at all!)
    Nice steamy baths with sprigs of rosemary in muslin bags to keep it herded.
    Also, vapour rub below the nostrils and on the forehead will help keep the nose clear during the night and clear the sinuses behind your eyebrows. (Check for allergies and clean your face religiously.)
    Prop up the top end of the mattress to assist in drainage and stop that nasty post nasal drip.
    And your eyeballs don't fall out when you blow your nose, only when you sneeze with your eyes open… which is why eyelids always shut when you get that old familiar tickle.
    Ditch the dairy for a bit and any other mucus producing foods.
    You could always send messages to your sinuses to be clear and for the snot to return to normal: problem is, it's just clearing the infection…
    Get well soon, chuck…

  3. Amy says:

    I can sympathise, it seems that every spring and autumn I sneeze my head off too. There is a product you can get from your doctor/chemist called Flixonase which is what I use, it's a god send!

  4. I am so sorry to hear your ill. There is a nasty virus going around here too….Feel better soon.
    God bless!

  5. You sound miserable Aisaon. I don't know about the blowing business, but a find some eucalyputs oil on your hankie helps clear your nose. Sorry I can't be of more help, but hope you are feeling better soon. Take care.

  6. Christeph says:

    I've just discovered your blog – and firstly, I have that problem too – never learned to blow my nose 'properly' – thought I was the only one!!!!
    Secondly, I nearly choked laughing listening to your podcast – your little man was too funny! Oh thank you for that, I really needed a laugh today!!!

  7. Lisa says:

    Poor you – I do sympathise. That old adage "the thought is worse than the reality" might work in this case? I was unable to swallow pills until the ripe old age of 17, it didn't matter how many times I was told that the act of eating meantI was constanly swallowing great chunks of food many times bigger than a humble pill; my gag reflex would simply not allow me to swallow the damn things! When it finally clicked I remember thinking, "Gosh, that was easy, not nearly as bad as I'd expected!" Maybe this will happen for you? Good luck x

  8. Him. says:

    You need something rubbing on your chest hun……
    ME !!!!!!!!!!!!
    CK x

  9. Lisa says:

    I have chronic sinusitus and find that Advil Sinus and Cold works the best, though not sure if it is available where you are. Without it I could not make it through some days. Also, blow your nose with your mouth open. Was told by a specialist it is better. Try blueberry, cranberry or pomegranate juices.
    BTW, love your site.

  10. Bea says:

    For the physical symptoms, all of the suggestions below sound great. Steam works especially well for me, too. Deep breathing through the nose (as much as you can) and exhaling slowly by mouth can also help to keep the air passage open.
    As for why the sinusitis seems to be a chronic, ongoing thing, look at what else is going on in your life whenever it flares up. Chronic illness can be a sign that there are possibly emotional or psychological things that are trying to get your attention. Like you suggested in your next post, maybe you're avoiding some important issues in your life, and it's possible that the avoidance is playing out in the form of a stuffy head. Try experimenting, pick a fear and tackle it, and see if it makes any difference in how you feel physically.

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