If, for even one moment, we can stop and take a breath or two in the run up to Christmas, we can as Sarah Ban Breathnach suggest’s choose to do Christmas our own way: we can, if we so desire, refuse to get stressed about all that we are too exhausted to face and embrace all that we are capable of doing, bringing to our chosen table a degree of quiet elegance and cosy charm we could not manage if we overestimate our resources…
Christmas, more than any other time of year, is about the symbols of tradition. Did you hear that? I said “symbols”. You know what? Your family don’t care if the mince pies come from Marks and Spencers and the pudding is chocolate because no-one ever touches plum. They don’t care, as long as we are willing to pay homage to all those things that make Christmas, Christmas, to one degree or another.
Trust me, it is you, (and only you), getting all het up about things that don’t matter. So your Christmas cake is as heavy as a brick? So what! I mean really, so what?? (Throw it away!) Go buy one in the shops and decorate it yourself. No-one will know the difference. So you couldn’t find the perfect set of vintage cards on Ebay? Who cares? Others, less discerning than yourself would probably have dumped them in the bin come January 6th anyway.It is the sentiment they remember. That is all.
You see in the whole scheme of thing nothing really matters. Make that your mantra. Nothing matters as long as come Christmas afternoon, all those you love are gathered around your table wearing silly hats and happy faces.
Nothing matters.
*
So true!
This year, as much as last year, is about change and "doing it differently". However, THIS year will be a good change, whereas last year, I nearly lost my mind and heart. (It was my Mom's last Christmas and I was 13 hours away from her AND my only child and I was totally consumed with pain and loneliness and sadness!)
This year, I journey back to my sister's home where we will each share the celebration with our partners having to work. This is a first for her, I am used to it. I will be there her to hold her, eat too much junk, watch sappy movies while piled up in her big bed, talk about old times, future times, and long for days gone by…..but with each other. We will remember childhood traditions, celebrate our new rituals and find a few new ones along the way. It will be different and strange for a bit but it will be good because it will be OURS. I just hope I am able to make a difference to her and help her ease through the night with her Dear One away for the first time. I just want to nurture away her hurt…..while we both miss our men.
We will just have to remember to keep Christmas in our heart and everything else will take care of itself.
You have said it well, Alison. This year I have vowed that Christmas is already here, has already been here from the moment I started even thinking of decorating, wrapping, baking, shopping, or planning. I decided if I didn't have any fun DOING all those things, if Christmas was only about being done with them all and then enjoying it…. that I was a goner. I have said aloud many many times, "I love wrapping presents!" haha… I almost forgot if I do or not… I think I do??? But I am enjoying it this year…
This is what I needed to hear. With the countdown continuing, I just want to have fun. I don't want guilt to be my middle name, but just want to enjoy the anticipation, even if I goof it all up!
And, thanks for slapping me around. If you know what I mean! We all need a good dose of sensibility at times!