Extreme Housewifery.

By Alison November 1, 2006 22 Comments 2 Min Read

Bathtub

Once upon a time I watched a very daft programme about some very daft housewives. The kind who hoover at four o’clock in the morning and polish their silver in their sleep.  Their houses were their lives in a certifiable   kind of way. Their families a whole lot less important than the possible horror of spilt milk or muddy footprints through their immaculate kitchens.

It made me want to cry. I like housekeeping twice as much as the next woman,but since I started BrocanteHome I have always tried to impress upon you all that creating a beautiful home is about creating a place to live to the best of our abilities and sooo not about creating a museum where the kids can’t eat, drink or be merry and men are scared to breathe…

But these women were housewive extremists. Thouroughly demented by the urge to do the laundry at eleven o’clock at night and steam-iron their bedlinen while their husbands where still lying beneath it. They were so busy making sure the house ran like a military operation they forgot to have a  real  life.  To love and laugh and eat picnics on the living room carpet. They were kind of dead.

But fellow Housekeepers, shame on me, they had some great ideas, and last night in a moment of personal housewife extremis I put one of them into practise.

Fill your tub with steaming hot water last thing at night. Said the crazy housewife.

So I did.

Now add four big scoops of biological laundry powder and go to bed.

So I did.

And lo and behold I woke up to a house that smelled like it had been hung out to dry on a Summers day. A bath so sparkly I can see my face in it, and a bathmat that looks like I bought it yesterday.

There is, it seems some method in their madness.

22 Comments

  1. Cindy says:

    Yes, sometimes these types can have good idea's, but that's all they have….But I do feel for these people because they are so trapped inside their world and sick emotionally and spiritually. I know someone like that has this thing about everything must be on and at a surtain place and angle and time…mentally she's not 'well'if you know what I mean: had a hard childhood with a very demanding and a b… of a mother. Her husband was a barstard, nothing she did was good or clean enough so he kicked her around the house… but allthough separated she still wears the scars and is living the way she used to do….

  2. Karla says:

    That is an interesting idea, I never would have thought of.
    These women always bring one thing to mind – Hyacinth Bucket (it's pronounced Bouquet as you well know).

  3. ellen p. says:

    Coming from an educated point of view, *some* of these women are suffering (and I mean s-u-f-f-e-r-i-n-g) from a mental illness: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
    I know that this is NOT the segment of the overzealous- housecleaning-crowd which you mean to refer to, though. Of course. Still, I thought I'd mention it.
    Personally, I'm just trying to be zealous *enough* about keeping things up! 🙂
    Cordially,
    Ellen

  4. ellen p. says:

    Coming from an educated point of view, *some* of these women are suffering (and I mean s-u-f-f-e-r-i-n-g) from a mental illness: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
    I know that this is NOT the segment of the overzealous- housecleaning-crowd which you mean to refer to, though. Of course. Still, I thought I'd mention it.
    Personally, I'm just trying to be zealous *enough* about keeping things up! 🙂
    Cordially,
    Ellen

  5. Shayne says:

    Hmmm Can't help thinking that it is a very, very, VERY bad idea to leave a bathtub full of water around a house that contains a small child.

  6. Amy says:

    hmmm I must remember that idea…

  7. Amy says:

    hmmm I must remember that idea…

  8. Tracy says:

    Forgive my ignorance, but what exactly is biological laundry powder?

  9. Danielle says:

    Oh Shayne come on now, I'm sure Alison closed the bathroom door securely. As would all of us, if we were to try this bonkers but fun housewifery experiment!

  10. Danielle says:

    Oh Shayne come on now, I'm sure Alison closed the bathroom door securely. As would all of us, if we were to try this bonkers but fun housewifery experiment!

  11. missy says:

    Well now, I will be more than happy to leave "happy" post!! LOL
    My mom would clean her bathtub this way. Run a bath of hot water, add cut up oranges, a scoop of laundry soap, and a couple sticks of cinnamon. In the morning she would drain the tub and shower!!! Clean tub, room smelled like a yummy spiced drink and her work load was cut by one chore for the day!!!
    Now if I could just find a simple solution to cleaning the entire house while I slept, I would be in Heaven!!!
    hugs
    -m-

  12. Cerri says:

    I too, would like to know what biological laundry powder is, because I would really like to try this!

  13. Cerri says:

    I too, would like to know what biological laundry powder is, because I would really like to try this!

  14. lazy h says:

    It sounds an excellent idea (especially adding orange and cinnamon), but my inner eco-warrier suffered a bit of a spasm. Perhaps one could add the laundry as well, and then maybe tread it like a traditional winemaker treading grapes? That would make me happy, although I suppose it flies in the spirit of easing the workload…
    Love the website Alison – sorry my first post is a bit po-faced!

  15. June says:

    What a grand idea–I'd never thought of this. I'm going to try it tonight. I like the other ideas posted about cinnamon and oranges, etc. I don't have any little ones around the house so I don't have to worry about the tub being full of water–besides, I'm not sure you have to have a whole tub of water, maybe just a few inches.

  16. June says:

    What a grand idea–I'd never thought of this. I'm going to try it tonight. I like the other ideas posted about cinnamon and oranges, etc. I don't have any little ones around the house so I don't have to worry about the tub being full of water–besides, I'm not sure you have to have a whole tub of water, maybe just a few inches.

  17. Shayne says:

    Danielle – Heaven forbid that mere child safety might get in the way of having a laundry scented house. Children open doors you know?

  18. fairycakegirl says:

    Well Alison my bath is now all a gleaming!! And I'm sure Finn is safely tucked up in bed and in no danger from the dangers of the bath!!!! Loving Brocante Home, speak soon!

  19. fairycakegirl says:

    Well Alison my bath is now all a gleaming!! And I'm sure Finn is safely tucked up in bed and in no danger from the dangers of the bath!!!! Loving Brocante Home, speak soon!

  20. carolyn says:

    I think I'll try that, just hope the husband doesn't get up in the night and think the bath has been run for him!

  21. Savannah says:

    As always, safety and children first, of course. However, that being said, I think my home is going to undergo a midnight soak. I cannot wait to try this! How decadent, delicious, delightfully exotic. I know it will be heavenly! Thanks again, Alison. Are you ever on your toes in this world? We are always richer when you post!

  22. Savannah says:

    As always, safety and children first, of course. However, that being said, I think my home is going to undergo a midnight soak. I cannot wait to try this! How decadent, delicious, delightfully exotic. I know it will be heavenly! Thanks again, Alison. Are you ever on your toes in this world? We are always richer when you post!

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