Que Sera, Schmay Sera.

By Alison October 30, 2006 54 Comments 4 Min Read

Girl Reading.

Oh you would be so proud of me.

I was lying there in bed this morning listening to the milk float trundle up and down the lane when it suddenly struck me that it was time to get my life, house and hairy legs kinda shipshape! I mean the hairy legs thing I can handle pretty fast, laser hair removal, anyone? We can kinda guarantee it won’t come back then! It’s all very well swallowing the old Que Sera Que Sera theory, but trust me it won’t pay the bills or stop you turning into a rather hirsute mammoth if you give up the ghost and let that old devil fate take its course.

No, no, no as? Amy Winehouse would say.? Action and a firm hand are what is required when you are on the verge of loopiness.

Before I knew it I was in the kitchen, hair soaked in conditioner dripping down my back and Fairy scented laundry banging around the machine. But ladies, there is a time and a place for all that is pretty, and quite frankly, a gloomy Monday morning, when even the local newsagent has seen fit to send a gentle reminder to pay your paper bill, isn’t one of them…

So if I tell you a secret or six, will you promise not to shout at me?

You see there is a very pretty blue floral quilted table runner dancing down the centre of my dining room table, and when I can’t think what to do with a piece of mail, whether it be an invitation for something I don’t want to do, an appointment I don’t want to keep, or a bill I’ve got no interest in paying, Housekeepers, I shove it under my frilly finery and pretend I simply never had the misfortune to open it. Genius, mais non? Non. Absolutely non!

Talk about sweeping your troubles under the carpet…

So anyway there I was contemplating devouring a probiotic madagascan vanilla yoghurt for breakfast, kind of swaying to the hum of the tumble dryer, when I finally realised what was wrong with me. It isn’t that I have got a big nose and wonky teeth. It isn’t that the green wallpaper makes me feel like crying or even that the Father of my baby saw fit to run off to Wigan with a crazy hill-billy. Lordy it’s none of those things: I’m feeling kind of bugged because I am a procrastinator of the highest order. I ignore things. Let them crawl under my skin and make me quietly cross.

I don’t make decisions, tell people what I think, paint out Finley’s “artwork” on the wall behind the table, work out how to use the DVD, find a way to make the recycling bins that little bit more accessible, buy new batteries for the remote, call people back, actually call people at all, return essential tax documents or remember? to leave a note out for the crazy milkman reminding him that eighteen eggs is more than I can manage on a weekly basis. I don’t watch programmes I record, buy a new knob for the bathroom door so I don’t have to keep leaning out the window to get one of the nighbours to come in and rescue me when I get locked in, nor even move the growing pile of books next to my bed, just in case I feel the need for a change of reading matter in the middle of the night. People I don’t do anything! The front garden is drowning in weeds. The back garden a shrine to a beautiful, but long gone Summer.I don’t pay bills until somebody drags me by the hair and makes me, oh and my hair itself? Dappled with grey and frizzier than it’s ever been!!

But not today. Today inspired by goodness knows what I was a whole new Alison. And because I know her well and knew this personality transplant wouldn’t last, Housekeepers I worked her into the ground! I spent five minutes writing one of my infamous Mission lists, and then scurried around like a demon, making dull phonecalls and attempting to make sense of the nutty British Tax System.? I? paid bits of money to bill’s I never knew existed, organised Marks time with Finn,? returned No Thank you’s, got around to facing the mountain of horror that is Finley’s wardrobe, printed out shopping lists, set up online banking for my new account, started to list my junk on Ebay and finally collapsed in a heap on a sofa covered in white chocolately handprints. Proud and tired and hungry for the first time in months.?

Tomorrow I intend to get my wellies on and sort out the front garden, but for now it is time to tackle all manner of blackhead’s, wrinkles, frizz and unwanted hair in the cosy haven that is a milky bath.

Please may I have a round of applause? I’ll be sane before we know it…

54 Comments

  1. Gena King says:

    I feel like standing up and applauding you! well done! I,however feel ashamed, I have ignored the tax return for too long(yikes!!!)I have a bag of clothes waiting to go on ebay, the staircase is half painted….and Christmas…Oh God, the Christmas shopping is yet to be tackled!!
    Inspire me more Alison, I need to get a move on!

  2. Hester says:

    That is EXACTLY how I am…I leave things until the very very last minute, the second reminder bill, kind of hoping that someone else will deal with it… But the worst thing is that while I am ignoring the things and putting them off, I am quietly worrying about them! So hurray for you taking action… and I agree with Gena, more inspiration please for those of us who still need a kick up the bum!

  3. Hester says:

    That is EXACTLY how I am…I leave things until the very very last minute, the second reminder bill, kind of hoping that someone else will deal with it… But the worst thing is that while I am ignoring the things and putting them off, I am quietly worrying about them! So hurray for you taking action… and I agree with Gena, more inspiration please for those of us who still need a kick up the bum!

  4. Elizabeth says:

    Well done young lady!

  5. Meredith says:

    You go Alison! Good for you!

  6. Meredith says:

    You go Alison! Good for you!

  7. Shannon says:

    Hurrah! Hurrah!
    I'm so happy that you have found your swing again!
    It was bound to happen eventually. Such a lovely person couldn't stay down forever. 🙂

  8. Shannon says:

    Hurrah! Hurrah!
    I'm so happy that you have found your swing again!
    It was bound to happen eventually. Such a lovely person couldn't stay down forever. 🙂

  9. lovelycate says:

    you, me, Hester, Gena – sisters under the skin! Reading your list of 'crimes' just made me cringe – I could easily have written an identical one…

  10. lovelycate says:

    you, me, Hester, Gena – sisters under the skin! Reading your list of 'crimes' just made me cringe – I could easily have written an identical one…

  11. Way to go girl!! You should be very proud of yourself! You done good.
    God bless!
    Terri
    P.S. My husband thinks you are a babe. He didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with you your face.
    Frankly, I'm glad you and your enticing British accent are safely on the other side of the ocean!

  12. Kim says:

    Well done! You are inspiring me to get off my own rear & get to it 🙂

  13. Kim says:

    Well done! You are inspiring me to get off my own rear & get to it 🙂

  14. Kate says:

    Dear Alison-
    I have been reading your blog for quite a while. It is a life-affirming thing to read the trials and tribulations of a normal woman who loves dangly hoops, silly red pumps and tousled hair. My good thoughts and wishes go out to you. You have created an interesting, very readable on-line community. That’s quite an accomplishment. From one domestic goddess to another…keep on moving forward, sister, life gets better every day…well almost!
    Love-
    Kate

  15. Kate says:

    Dear Alison-
    I have been reading your blog for quite a while. It is a life-affirming thing to read the trials and tribulations of a normal woman who loves dangly hoops, silly red pumps and tousled hair. My good thoughts and wishes go out to you. You have created an interesting, very readable on-line community. That’s quite an accomplishment. From one domestic goddess to another…keep on moving forward, sister, life gets better every day…well almost!
    Love-
    Kate

  16. chicchickbiz says:

    What a wonderful feeling to accomplish a task or two that has been put off for a little too long…I do this ALL the time! I spend so much more time dreading a task, thinking about how much I really, truly, absolutely don't want to do it, and when I finally just get it over with it's usually much less painful than I anticipated.
    Good for you and thanks for the inspiration today! 🙂

  17. chicchickbiz says:

    What a wonderful feeling to accomplish a task or two that has been put off for a little too long…I do this ALL the time! I spend so much more time dreading a task, thinking about how much I really, truly, absolutely don't want to do it, and when I finally just get it over with it's usually much less painful than I anticipated.
    Good for you and thanks for the inspiration today! 🙂

  18. Amy says:

    Good for you! 🙂

  19. Amy says:

    Good for you! 🙂

  20. A round of applause no, two or three. I understand you so well " because I am a procrastinator of the highest order" too. But I want to be what I know I can be, my true self, that is much more than being a procratinator.

  21. A round of applause no, two or three. I understand you so well " because I am a procrastinator of the highest order" too. But I want to be what I know I can be, my true self, that is much more than being a procratinator.

  22. Sarah says:

    Well done lady! I need a rocket up my posterior to get things done (apart from bills, although lately they've been big enough to be called Williams, I'm alright with them) its the ironing, tidying up etc… however Bill Oddie and Kate Humble on Autumn watch told me not to clear too much out of my garden so all the little creatures could have somewhere to hibernate…. so….. I'm taking them at their word!!

  23. Sarah says:

    Well done lady! I need a rocket up my posterior to get things done (apart from bills, although lately they've been big enough to be called Williams, I'm alright with them) its the ironing, tidying up etc… however Bill Oddie and Kate Humble on Autumn watch told me not to clear too much out of my garden so all the little creatures could have somewhere to hibernate…. so….. I'm taking them at their word!!

  24. Tanya says:

    Clap, Clap, Clap….

  25. Tanya says:

    Clap, Clap, Clap….

  26. Tanya says:

    Clap, Clap, Clap….

  27. Cindy says:

    Dearest Alison!!
    Good for you girl!! Never forget, you're only human with alot, I say: alot of kindred spirits here!! But, yes I say but: take care that you don't burn up too fast…everything in good time and thought over aswell! That's what I've learned over the years and it still works!
    Reminding you and your darlingboy in my prayers! Love & hugs!

  28. Cindy says:

    Dearest Alison!!
    Good for you girl!! Never forget, you're only human with alot, I say: alot of kindred spirits here!! But, yes I say but: take care that you don't burn up too fast…everything in good time and thought over aswell! That's what I've learned over the years and it still works!
    Reminding you and your darlingboy in my prayers! Love & hugs!

  29. Nonnie says:

    Well done you! So very glad you've got your positive spirit back again. Your little break last week must have really worked. As ever, thank you so much for the inspiration.

  30. Nonnie says:

    Well done you! So very glad you've got your positive spirit back again. Your little break last week must have really worked. As ever, thank you so much for the inspiration.

  31. judy says:

    Applauding here in the state of Michigan.
    I'd stand, but I'm lazy. I would have to dislodge a warm kitty and put down my laptop.
    I needed this inspiration today (can you tell?).

  32. judy says:

    Applauding here in the state of Michigan.
    I'd stand, but I'm lazy. I would have to dislodge a warm kitty and put down my laptop.
    I needed this inspiration today (can you tell?).

  33. Karla says:

    Bravo, Bravo! I so know how you are…because that's how I am too for the most part.
    I'm proud of you! Thanks for reminding us that sometimes we just need to give ourselves a swift kick in the hind end with our gorgeous red heels and get it in gear!
    Tonight I tackle my filing system that has swallowed last year's taxes that hubby needed today and now can't locate.

  34. Karla says:

    Bravo, Bravo! I so know how you are…because that's how I am too for the most part.
    I'm proud of you! Thanks for reminding us that sometimes we just need to give ourselves a swift kick in the hind end with our gorgeous red heels and get it in gear!
    Tonight I tackle my filing system that has swallowed last year's taxes that hubby needed today and now can't locate.

  35. Heather says:

    You sound positively inspired!! I wish whatever inspired you would come over to visit me!!

  36. Heather says:

    You sound positively inspired!! I wish whatever inspired you would come over to visit me!!

  37. Good for you Alison!
    I am just as proud of myself in the same way. I was busy like this yesterday and finsihed almost 1/3 of my must do list in just a few hours.
    Of course having projects that I wanted to get back to finishing helped.

  38. Good for you Alison!
    I am just as proud of myself in the same way. I was busy like this yesterday and finsihed almost 1/3 of my must do list in just a few hours.
    Of course having projects that I wanted to get back to finishing helped.

  39. Marie says:

    Hooray for you! Now pass some of that energy around, girl. Hello from Texas!

  40. Marie says:

    Hooray for you! Now pass some of that energy around, girl. Hello from Texas!

  41. Savannah says:

    Whazzat? Can you say foggy blue funk? I loved your day… Isn't it simply frightful to "wake up" and realize what is swimming in your tank? Love you!

  42. Savannah says:

    Whazzat? Can you say foggy blue funk? I loved your day… Isn't it simply frightful to "wake up" and realize what is swimming in your tank? Love you!

  43. Nancy says:

    Good for you! Now if I could find the same inspiration….
    Tell us your ebay site so we can fight over your yummy junk!!
    Please?
    Happy Halloween!

  44. Nancy says:

    Good for you! Now if I could find the same inspiration….
    Tell us your ebay site so we can fight over your yummy junk!!
    Please?
    Happy Halloween!

  45. happyapple says:

    GO GET 'EM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  46. happyapple says:

    GO GET 'EM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  47. Danielle says:

    Can you send me some of your violet cremes, or whatever else it is you've taken? I need that kind of motivation!!

  48. Danielle says:

    Can you send me some of your violet cremes, or whatever else it is you've taken? I need that kind of motivation!!

  49. Annabelle says:

    Do try to find out what it was that stimulated that rush of energy.You could bottle it up in old glass milk bottles and sell it to us.I'm sure there be plenty of willing buyers out there and you could make quite a killing as well! Hehehehe
    Glad to see you finally have revived.
    Annabelle =^..^= xo

  50. Annabelle says:

    Do try to find out what it was that stimulated that rush of energy.You could bottle it up in old glass milk bottles and sell it to us.I'm sure there be plenty of willing buyers out there and you could make quite a killing as well! Hehehehe
    Glad to see you finally have revived.
    Annabelle =^..^= xo

  51. Karen says:

    Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not the only one with heaps of bills to pay and weeds to pull. It's a rainy day and I'm going to get every paper off of my desk. I'm trying to type this with my elbows resting on a four-inch-deep pile of mail, clipped recipes, store coupons, etc. They all need action and you have inspired me!

  52. Karen says:

    Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not the only one with heaps of bills to pay and weeds to pull. It's a rainy day and I'm going to get every paper off of my desk. I'm trying to type this with my elbows resting on a four-inch-deep pile of mail, clipped recipes, store coupons, etc. They all need action and you have inspired me!

  53. jmkfpk says:

    As Nancy stated in her post, could you share your ebay info so we can drool over your beautiful things?

  54. jmkfpk says:

    As Nancy stated in her post, could you share your ebay info so we can drool over your beautiful things?

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