Seeking A Sense of Home.

By Alison July 30, 2007 6 Comments 2 Min Read


So this week we are going to look in more detail at the questions on the House of Belonging Questionaire (download it here…)

The first question asks "What does the word ‘Home’ mean to you?" By this I mean what emotions does the word stir in you?

To many women, particuarly those who stay or work from home, the word conjures up feelings of claustrophobia:  it spells servitude, a place where demands are made upon them and they find it hard to be themselves. To some it feels as if the house is a constant reminder of happier days: a lonely place we find ourselves banging around in, or a place where it seems there is nothing but insurmountable work to do…

To many of us our notion of "home" resides not in the place we live in, but in a house we have long left: the "home" of our childhood, the first house we bought after we were married or the house we brought our children up in. We do not feel at home, simply because we are not, and the house we do live in feels temporary, however permanent it may be..

The key to resolving how we consiously, or perhaps more likely, unconsciously feel about our home, is to identify our feelings, however complex they may be. So tonight, make a start by pouring your feelings onto paper: put your pen onto a piece of paper and write about your house and do not lift the pen off the paper until you have filled the page. Remember this isn’t a test: don’t worry about what you write; don’t stop to re-read it or correct your grammer: just write and when you reach the end of the page you may be surprised to find the truth that is there…


  1. roundabout says:

    It's sad and a little surprising that so many people viewed their homes so negatively. Perhaps it depends what stage of life you are in? I am living in that first house purchased after married. It's a fixer-upper and it's currently a bit of an eyesore as we undergo renovation. But I do still think of it fondly.

  2. La Chouette says:

    The reverse can be true. In my early twenties, I lived 2 years in a miserable noisy flat in an ugly area of the city because that was all I could afford. I then moved to a prettier and quieter apartment located on a lovely street. In the months that followed the move, not a day would go by without an intense feeling of gratitude for this new found home…

  3. attilathehen says:

    20 years ago (no, surely not that long ago!) I moved from a bedsit to my first council flat. It was June. The first morning, I woke up to sunshine, took my bowl of cereal outside and sat on the front wall, in the dappled shade of the sycamore trees and ate my breakfast. My first, proper, bricks and mortar HOME. Despite making 2 happier moves since then, the second with my wonderful husband, I still remember that glorious day with joy. I think it was possession, owning that made it so good. All mine to make mine.

  4. Nancy says:

    "To many women, particularly those who stay or work from home, the word conjures up feelings of claustrophobia: it spells servitude, a place where demands are made upon them and they find it hard to be themselves."
    Oh, this one screamed at me! This is my current problem. I live and work in my work place and it is driving me nuts. But, I cannot move my inventory out so I am trying to reduce it and find a better, more pleasing arrangement to having a cottage industry. *sigh* I just want a day to putter in my pretties, NOT work!

  5. OohLaLaura says:

    Oh, Miss MAY!
    Sometimes I click on my 'Brocante' link with expectant joy in my heart. Today, however- your new post seemed oh-so-joyous that I am SAVING it until tomorrow morning.
    Tomorrow, when I shall need strength. And nothing will DO like a good dose of Alison style wit. And Moxie.
    You have MOXIE, mam!

  6. chrissie says:

    Mine was a naval chilldhood home was transient two years in one country, two in another. Top of a block of flats in Malta a big red sandstone house in Glasgow and a brand new build in Plymouth. Possessions became my importance. As the same old things were unpacked it gave a sense of belonging and I have been told I can turn a cave or a caravan into a home as I have had past practice at same. To lose two homes at the hands of a fraudulent ex particulary painful for me as I longed for security. Treasure your homes girls. To me it means the unattainable peace of mind.

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