Springtime On Mars.

By Alison March 15, 2008 20 Comments 2 Min Read


What can I tell you about this week? That I have taken up making a nuisance of my self? That I turn up on peoples doorstep and kind of park myself on their sofa in the hope that they will drip feed me tea and regale me with life affirming tales of good times and gossip? And that in return I will do their ironing while they bath the baby or make me a sumptuous three course meal? Or a piece of toast? Because all of a sudden I am desperate for company…?

Perhaps you want to hear about Finley? He’s much better. No longer blotchy. Officially co-ordination disorder free  and able to brandish a pencil with aplomb and render myself, Kath and Diane dumb as he sails across Kath’s playroom on Eleanors bike like he’s been doing it all his life.  Then yesterday he informed me that having his hair brushed hurt more "than a horse having it’s nut’s cut off". (Yes, you read that right) and when I recovered from a choking case of shock and horror and asked him where a horses nuts are, he looked at me like I was crazy stupid and said "You know Mum, those things on the end of his feet?"…  So that will be his hooves then??

(Oh and he’s got nits so thats nice.)

Hmmm, what else?  Oh yes, the neighbours aren’t speaking to each other, the daffodils have died a sorry death in the front garden and I’ve finally got round to replacing the mat with the Christmas trees on it at the front door with a rather snazzy paisley affair. Snazzy is a rubbish word isn’t it? Do ban me from saying it. My conversation is littered with  ridiculous words like this and  for the record my Dad says he is going to smack me if I say "Rightie Ho" one more time in his company.  Perhaps I should have been christened Doris or Aggie or something equally as beguilling…

Goodness what am I waffling on about? It’s been a strange old day so far. I threw myself out of bed this morning and drove here to Mum’s with my pink jumper on inside out. Without washing my neck or boiling the kettle or anything at all really. I have highly offended the man I went out with last week to the degree that he has informed me that we have nothing left to say to each other and all I can think about is chocolate. Rose scented chocolate. Chocolate with amaretto. Chocolate pie. Chocolate sauce. Chocolate on a butty.

Truly I’ve got chocolate on the brain and can’t quite figure out the importance of anything else in my entire life.

Rightie Ho Daddy lets have another cup of tea. I’ll iron your shirt if you make me some of your extra special cheese on toast. Must go before I reveal anymore of my awful torrid secrets. Some things are more appalling than even the scratchy little feet of head lice nesting in your babbas curls.

I’m feeling irrationally happy today.


  1. You’ve made me laugh, dear girl, and that’s a tough thing to do on yet another snowy morning in my corner.
    So glad that Finn is doing better, well, except for that annoying little problem. Good thing you investigated his comment a bit further…hahahaha.
    Gee, I didn’t know that there were “rubbish” words. Wandering off wondering if “gee” is one of them…

  2. Gill says:

    You have the gift of making a mundane sort of week sound very amusing…it's the little things that make life easier. Just keep on keeping on Alison, park yourself on those sofas 'cos I'm sure no-one will object if you're as good company in the flesh as you are in cyber-space. You'd be welcome on my sofa but I'm several hundred miles away I think.

  3. Jen says:

    Oh you did make me smile. Sorry about the nits though….

  4. Kelly (in Ohio) says:

    I love all your words Ali, even "snazzy". Don't change anything about yourself my dear. You have been bringing me much joy since I found your site a few months back and I am so very appreciative of you.
    Rightie Ho then, Kelly
    P.S. You have a standing invitation to my couch any time you are in the U.S.

  5. Melissa says:

    Thinking of you!!! I hope you have a great day. And if you are every here in the US you are welcome on my couch.

  6. Amy says:

    Oh sounds like one of those week huh? Sorry bout those nits, they’re awful creatures aren’t they? Hope you get rid of them…

  7. Ouissi says:

    That reminds me of the time my nephew told my grandfather that my mum told told him he had to eat his porridge as it would put hairs on his bum…he meant chest…but my Grandpa's expression was priceless!!
    Sorry about the nits though…and there is not much better in life than chocolate 😉

  8. Polly says:

    Ugh – the nits! Been there. So sorry for you. And just so you know your little boys isn't the only one saying words he doesn't understand… When my oldest was about 4 he told the mailman that he was "free-balling". The mailman laughed hysterically and told all the neighbors. When I questioned my son I was told that he and Cliffy were throwing the ball his side of the street to ours. But still I get ribbed about it =) Blessings… POlly

  9. Sasha says:

    Ali, I would love you to invite yourself over to mine to iron some shirts – and I would cook/bake/brew any number of edible feasts in return! I suspect not a lot of either would get done though once we started gabbing….!! I just know that you are someone who would make my cheeks hurt with laughter!
    Nits! In that beautiful mop of curls?! Bet those nits thought they'd stumbled upon their idea of heaven?!! Oh lordy lord – good luck with that! I could recommend some fab stuff, if you like…..
    And I say "Rightie Ho" all the time – am I exceedingly annoying then??!! I also beg the question "What am I waffling on about" quite a lot, only to be met with a sea of faces with blank expressions….
    Hey ho, toodle pip!!

  10. Anna Marie says:

    On a blustery windy morning in Lancs, you put a needed smile on my face. If you come over to my abode, I'll make you Welsh rabbit and lots of cups of tea.
    Anna Marie

  11. Sharon S says:

    See? I KNEW those teachers were wrong about li'l Fin! You knew it, too. Moms know best.
    Ooh, I know the feeling of being desparate for company. I think I'd do someone's ironing, too, just for grown up conversation some days. Wonder how I can bless someone else who feels the same. There's always the widows in church. They love visits. They'd probably do MY ironing. 🙂
    My girls have had the lice, too. I hate them. Such good products now to get rid of them. My grandmother, in her day, all her sisters and she had long hair, and lice was not uncommon. She said they'd put kerosene on their scalps to get rid of them. Yikes!

  12. Buffy says:

    Horse's nuts – I must remember that one! I am glad to hear he is feeling better. And rose scented chocolate – lovely.

  13. Grace says:

    So glad Fin is better! I'm so delighted he's proved those silly teachers wrong.
    My girls had lice as well once. Perhaps it's just a right of passage for mothers to endure. I know it positively devastated me. Then we got through it and suddenly I found myself stronger and more realistic about life and y lack of ability to protect my children from everything – all thanks to some silly old nits. LOL

  14. Grace says:

    Forgot to say that I have plenty of ironing and can gladly pay you in all the tea and chocolate you'd like. We have two sofas so either one is yours for the sitting!

  15. No! Don't stop with your "awful torrid secrets"…I think we all wish we could be so honest about our thoughts and feelings, without worrying about hurting people's feelings, having to explain, or feeling bad about what's true for us on a bad day…Keep up the good work…Katie

  16. JayneLM says:

    Ah, the joy of the internet is in meeting new people you’d otherwise never come across. The frustration is *not* meeting those people (er, in person, that is). If you lived near me I’d happily rustle up a chocolate butty and a mug of tea for you any time. (Ironing only optional).

  17. Gayla says:

    That is a fine post… kind of a mish mash of all that's rambling in your mind and soul… when will our souls settle on one thing at a time? Never probably, and would we be bored? likely. Watch your post in a few days or maybe longer for a little late birthday surprise from me… Eventually it will arrive.

  18. Nonnie says:

    I've been finding myself saying rightie ho a lot too lately. Must be our age! Sorry to hear about the nits but glad to hear that all else is well with dear little Finn. Love the horses nuts comment! You'd be welcome on my sofa any day for a good gossip and heaps of chocolate by the way.

  19. dianeinjapan says:

    What's that thing I say that Husband can't stand? "Okie-dokey"? Yes, I think that's it.
    Yay for feeling irrationally happy!

  20. betty says:

    Snazzy is not so bad…but my 26 year old daughter has recently started to collect odd words from people older then her…I will refrain from telling her that I have been known to utter a couple of them myself…since she thinks they come from one of the lesser known dead languages..example #1 piffle, #2 flibberty-gibet. I distinctly remember saying both of them sometimes in the past quarter century.
    Personally, I love your odd word now and then…always a hoot to read anything from you.

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