A Slipping Down Life.

By alison May 12, 2006 34 Comments 2 Min Read

Hairy2

It is a strange compulsion this ongoing urge to wash my dirty linen quite so dramatically  in public, but humour me  Dear Housekeepers, public confession is simply one alternative to a straight-jacket.

There is a whisker growing out of my chin. Oh yes. There I was scrutinising my face in the little mirror in the bathroom for reasons for much discussed abandonment. Tilting my head this way and that. And there it was. A revolting bloody great long black whisker hanging off my face.
So as you do, I gave it a tug that brought tears to my eyes and confirmed beyond all doubt, that yes it was attached and yes it is true: I am the She-Devil before the surgery.

How does it happen this taking over of who you used to be? How is it possible that I haven’t looked at my face long enough to see  it? Have other people  noticed and  felt too mortified  for me to point it out? 

Readers I cried. Of all the things that could have made me cry in the past fortnight, it turns out that vanity is my tipping point. So I stood in the bathroom and sobbed into a towel folded the Martha way, while Finley held an action man tea party in his bedroom.
Then I wiped my eyes, gave the taps a  polish for good luck and went to face the day. God help me: in the face of trauma I am Bree Van De Kamp.

Here’s the thing: you think you are doing alright. You think you are holding things together. But there are tell tale signs of my slipping down life in every room. On every inch of my body.

At night I don’t  take off the myriad of cushions  off my bed, but move them over to the left side of the bed, where  Mark should  be, so by the morning I wake to find myself clinging to the edge of the bed, as if, as usual  he is sprawled  diagonally across my dreams.

The house is immaculate, but I didn’t empty the kitchen bin yesterday. The glass in every mirror in the house is smeary, all the better not to see whiskers or the nose hair that is no doubt on it’s way. The fridge is wierdly empty and I’m aching for a hug.

He’s coming around to talk this weekend. Maybe he’s coming to talk about my whiskers.

Or maybe he’s coming home. Please let him be coming home.

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34 Comments

  1. Gena says:

    Oh you poor baby! I pray he is coming home! and the facial hair? it gets us all in the end,especially us dark haired girlies,just grin and brace yourself and pluck the little buggers out!

  2. ms*robyn says:

    me too, Ali. I hope that he is coming home – do you want some prayers said?
    hairs on your chin? wait til you grow barnacles…

  3. ms*robyn says:

    me too, Ali. I hope that he is coming home – do you want some prayers said?
    hairs on your chin? wait til you grow barnacles…

  4. Meredith says:

    Oh Alison we all get those stubborn little whiskers! But they are too much to face when your heart is breaking. I will wish that things will settle down soon and send hugs to you once again from across the pond. God bless!

  5. Meredith says:

    Oh Alison we all get those stubborn little whiskers! But they are too much to face when your heart is breaking. I will wish that things will settle down soon and send hugs to you once again from across the pond. God bless!

  6. Terri Pollhein says:

    Praying for you and your family. I wish I could do something more to help you, because your site as really been a blessing to me.
    Hang in there girlie!
    God bless!
    Terri

  7. Petah Hatcher says:

    Hi Alison, Don't worry I am blonde, but had to have elctrolysis on my chin at 18 for peach fuzz as I have a slight hormonal imbalance. It happens to the best of us and I would rather that than warts, but I know that does not help at the moment. I am glad you are talking, it certainly helps from experience and a lot cheaper than a psychologist. Who cares if you have not emptied the bin, you have a lot on your mind and I so hope he comes home for good this weekend. Prayers and hugs. Petah

  8. Petah Hatcher says:

    Hi Alison, Don't worry I am blonde, but had to have elctrolysis on my chin at 18 for peach fuzz as I have a slight hormonal imbalance. It happens to the best of us and I would rather that than warts, but I know that does not help at the moment. I am glad you are talking, it certainly helps from experience and a lot cheaper than a psychologist. Who cares if you have not emptied the bin, you have a lot on your mind and I so hope he comes home for good this weekend. Prayers and hugs. Petah

  9. julie says:

    stay strong, alison
    you're in our thoughts/prayers for everything to work itself out for you and mark…

  10. julie says:

    stay strong, alison
    you're in our thoughts/prayers for everything to work itself out for you and mark…

  11. Pilar says:

    I hope he is coming home to you and Finley. Good luck, and may he come so his senses!
    Pilar

  12. Pilar says:

    I hope he is coming home to you and Finley. Good luck, and may he come so his senses!
    Pilar

  13. Kim says:

    Oh darlin', I know what you mean…I didn't cry after the 3 surgeries that it took to save my life when my baby was born, but I got home & someone looking at me the wrong way brought me to tears!
    Oh, I'll be thinking of you this weekend & wishing all good things for your family. As Terri posted, you have brought so much to my life, I can only wish that I could give some of the good back through my good wishes.

  14. Kim says:

    Oh darlin', I know what you mean…I didn't cry after the 3 surgeries that it took to save my life when my baby was born, but I got home & someone looking at me the wrong way brought me to tears!
    Oh, I'll be thinking of you this weekend & wishing all good things for your family. As Terri posted, you have brought so much to my life, I can only wish that I could give some of the good back through my good wishes.

  15. Heather says:

    I'm turning 33 this year and I'm fairly certain I've been a hardcore plucker for at least 12 years now…sigh. You weekend will be about the love that has been shared and will be continued to be shared, regardless of the outcome. Remember you are a fabulous woman who provides and undying love for your family and that is what matters.

  16. Heather says:

    I'm turning 33 this year and I'm fairly certain I've been a hardcore plucker for at least 12 years now…sigh. You weekend will be about the love that has been shared and will be continued to be shared, regardless of the outcome. Remember you are a fabulous woman who provides and undying love for your family and that is what matters.

  17. Josee says:

    Sending you a hug!
    And as for the facial hair – well, lets just say you are NOT alone! I have had them for almost a year now. I just quickly pluck them away and live in total denial!! What facial hair?? I NEVER get those.
    Josee

  18. Petah Hatcher says:

    Alison, I forgot to tell you that I secretly wish to be like Bree, but have my children love me! Petah

  19. Petah Hatcher says:

    Alison, I forgot to tell you that I secretly wish to be like Bree, but have my children love me! Petah

  20. love Mimi xxx says:

    Oh Alison, if wishing and good thoughts can make it so, it will be, as I know we are all wishing, hoping, praying for this for you. And worry not about the odd stray hair- at least it is not a mustache full!

  21. Alicat says:

    I hope this weekend goes well dear Alison. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers

  22. Alicat says:

    I hope this weekend goes well dear Alison. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers

  23. Mindy says:

    I understand the hair on the chin…want till it becomes a forest!!! LOL…sending you lots of hugs and prayers..enjoy your weekend! xo

  24. Mindy says:

    I understand the hair on the chin…want till it becomes a forest!!! LOL…sending you lots of hugs and prayers..enjoy your weekend! xo

  25. Nancy says:

    I have had a some rigid little *visitors* for the last few years. I will run my finger along my face, feel them and all I can think about is finding my tweezers asap. Now that I am perimenopausal, ALL of my hair is thinning…..from head to toe and in between. What a funny gal Mother Nature is~ I like to say I do not have chin whiskers, merely eyebrows that have succumbed to the pull of gravity.
    I will be sending good thoughts, prayers, and wishes your way. We love you, Ali……stay strong and beautiful as always. You deserve happiness and joy and nothing less.

  26. Nancy says:

    I have had a some rigid little *visitors* for the last few years. I will run my finger along my face, feel them and all I can think about is finding my tweezers asap. Now that I am perimenopausal, ALL of my hair is thinning…..from head to toe and in between. What a funny gal Mother Nature is~ I like to say I do not have chin whiskers, merely eyebrows that have succumbed to the pull of gravity.
    I will be sending good thoughts, prayers, and wishes your way. We love you, Ali……stay strong and beautiful as always. You deserve happiness and joy and nothing less.

  27. Sandybeach says:

    Mark,
    Life is hard. No relationship is easy. Anything good takes work. Your little family needs to be a strong unit. Be their gentle, strong leader. Be a light in the world. What could be better than two people who adore you? Make it work.

  28. June says:

    I'm sending positive thoughts your way that your hopes and dreams come true soon.

  29. June says:

    I'm sending positive thoughts your way that your hopes and dreams come true soon.

  30. Kerry says:

    Oh heck Ali … a single hair? I have them too … and some ugly little ones (finer, thank goodness) near my nipples and belly button. So there. You are not alone.
    In any regard.
    Thinking of you.

  31. My fingers are crossed for your true desire to come true!

  32. My fingers are crossed for your true desire to come true!

  33. About the little hair that is too much: we all have those little secrets.
    About the man that is doing all that mess: have hope and patience.

  34. About the little hair that is too much: we all have those little secrets.
    About the man that is doing all that mess: have hope and patience.

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