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  1. If I lived near you, I would call in sick from work and show up on your doorstep, demanding you let me help in whatever way I could. I wish you were not SO FAR AWAY, for you have helped me through so many things with your posts. I read your monthly puttery posts every single night, along with Simple Abundance posts. We are all here for you.

  2. Alison, I, too, wish I could be of help. I have learned a lot in the past few years. One thing I now know is that you have to be specific, and tell people exactly what you need when they ask. And it is so difficult to do this. Sometimes I think I will scream when people tell me how strong I am and how well I cope with tragedy, because, of course, I am not strong, and I don’t cope very well at all most days.
    You are a woman of such great talent, and have been such a beacon to so many. Let us help you and tell us what you need.
    Love from Iowa,
    Sandi

  3. I’ve had this discussion many a time. We are all happy to help a sister out…but being the sister who has to admit to being in need of help is super-duper hard. Alison, part of becoming a whole adult person is learning to admit that you are human and can’t always handle everything and sometimes need help. Give your friends the blessing of helping you. They want to. It hurts them when you won’t let them. You know this because it hurts you when your friends will not let you help them.
    The myth that we have to pretend that we can handle it all on our own is one that keeps us apart and stops us from being the sisters we can be.

  4. Alison i think that you must have been sent to me, i am not ok and i am not ok to ask for help. its so hard to keep going but its even harder to ask. sending you much love X

  5. Alison you are a brave, brave woman. It is hard to ask (and it is almost as hard to make yourself not throw everything at someone you love who is struggling and thereby smother them). Sticking your fingers in your ears and tra-la-laa-ing doesn’t work and neither does toughie-not-giving-in-ness. To ask for help doesn’t make you weak even though it might make you feel terribly vulnerable – probably the last thing you need if you’re going through life thin-skinned and trying to hold it together.
    I’ll echo everyone who’d like to offer practical help. I can’t bear to think of you not being able to be warm when you’ve offered such warm words to others. And I’m sure you’re more Beach Hut Brocante than shed (although I love my shed very much :))
    Please reach back and grab those hands that are stretching out to you. Fear of failure and of being thought of as silly are all part of being human – most people are peddling like hell just to keep going in their own lives – and if they stop to gawk at you well, that’s just rubber-necking – so sod them.
    Please be kind to yourself. I hope things feel a bit better – and I’m sure they will get better.
    Finally – these people are great if you need to just talk it out with someone http://www.samaritans.org They helped me so much when I was going through a very bad patch in the past as a result of living with the neighbours from hell. And yes, I felt silly and melodramatic about being unable to cope with it. Not being able to cope is nothing to be ashamed of.
    Much love to you and your boy xx

  6. Thanks for sharing that you feel the same way I do at times. One thing is for sure is that it will pass. The sun comes up and the birds do sing. Hugs and kisses from across the ocean blue and wish I was physically there to help. If there is any thing I can do let me know! Happy Thanksgiving and thankful for all your insight and also the blessings we do have in front of us.

  7. Just being who you are is enough Alison. Just being there. Baby steps. You are loved.
    Blessings to you and Finn.
    Barbara

  8. So sorry to hear this but so glad you are reaching out. I’ve read your blog for a long time from the states and adore it. I’ve always been very stoic and never asked for help. That was before I became a single mother and came down with RA. I’ve asked for help since then and been overwhelmed by the response. Hang in there.

  9. Alison, you are absolutely right that it is hard to ask for help, and sometimes, having asked, it is still hard to accept it. Be brave, ask, and keep asking. Lots of love to you and Finn xxx

  10. Darling Alison,
    You are a strong woman, just not right now. I have suffered long and hard with depression as well. So much so that I had a rather untidy breakdown at work….could not stop crying no matter how much I tried to suppress it. I took an eight month sabbatical, sought help, got help through my Dr., psychologists and read so many books on emotional health. Turns out I was severely anemic, had a very low thyroid, and I rested, meditated, took the medicines, and the thing that I believe helped me the most was one counselor advised me to look up Cognitive Distortions. I did and found that it referenced me totally. I look at them daily. It helps to know just what you are up against so that you can. You know that nasty inner voice you have that tells you that you are useless, fat, lazy, stupid? Give her a name. When she starts talking her nasty little taunts, tell her to Feck off! I call my inner demon Rosalita. I’ll say..”Alright Rosalita, bugger off

  11. I dont know what I can give to you my dear blogging friend. A new heart that isnt cracked? An old home that doesn’t creak? An endless supply of milk and tea and great stacks of books? An ex who grows some balls? A small boy who is utterly perfect? Oh wait, you have that last one. I am far away and not a magician so these things are impossible. But I am close enough to your pain to say I shall think of you often and lift your needs to the universe whenever I do. I will think about you in a better place mentally. I will think positively about you and your future that anything but isn’t even an option. I lift you up Dear Alison May for healing physically, mentally and spiritually and I will do so until it is done. PEACE be with you. (((Hugs))) Lynn in North Dakota, USA

  12. Darling Alison,
    You are a strong woman, just not right now. I have suffered long and hard with depression as well. So much so that I had a rather untidy breakdown at work….could not stop crying no matter how much I tried to suppress it. I took an eight month sabbatical, sought help, got help through my Dr., psychologists and read so many books on emotional health. Turns out I was severely anemic, had a very low thyroid, and I rested, meditated, took the medicines, and the thing that I believe helped me the most was one counselor advised me to look up Cognitive Distortions. I did and found that it referenced me totally. I look at them daily. It helps to know just what you are up against so that you can push away those negative thoughts. You know that nasty inner voice you have that tells you that you are useless, fat, lazy, stupid? Give her a name. When she starts talking her nasty little taunts, tell her to Feck off! I call my inner demon Rosalita. I’ll say..”Alright Rosalita, bugger off, I’m not putting up with you today.”
    Silly as it sounds it works! It helps keep you aware of beating yourself up, and to just stop it in it’s tracks. You are such a lovely inspiring woman. Keep saying THAT to yourself. A LOT. You are loved by so many people this world over! You are loved by friends and family. Try to know this to be true. Because….it is! Now for the past…leave it there. It’s done with. Don’t ruminate the thoughts (ruminating being one of the cognitive distortions) Don’t beat yourself up, with “I should haves”, or “Whys”, or whatever the painful past brought you. That painful past has taught you lessons. Use the lessons. Don’t close yourself off because you were hurt. Open your heart…slowly, carefully, but please do OPEN YOUR HEART, if only to accept the love and help your loved ones are offering you. Accept the nurturing…accept the care, and help. If it makes you cry, cry grateful tears. Relax and let people around you love, nurture and help. and sleep, lots and lots. Maybe your lovely Finn is sad because he feels your sadness. Cuddle him, feel sad together. Talk to him about your sadness….his sadness….assure him that this too shall pass. It will. Sweet Alison please be gentle with yourself…..let people love and care for you. It not only helps you, it will help them as well, giving is such a healing emotion, don’t deprive them of that. The past can be so very painful and sad. But it’s the PAST. You are through the nastiest part of it, now it’s time for you to let it go and start healing. Look forward, your future absolutely sparkles and glows and throbs with wonderfulness. Trust that. Picture it and it will become just that.
    Great big hugs and kisses.
    Julie

  13. 0h, Alison. These things will pass or at least work themselves out. Our mind makes our problems seem so insurmountable at times. I’d say, keep up with your meditation, and cry it out or write it out to keep your mind as tidy as it can. Keep up the gratitude journal. Move. Love…accept it and give it to all you care about. So many of us out here are sending you love and positive energy. Hugs and love, Heather

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