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  1. Yes Friend, this is life.
    Take a deep breath, know that you are a sacred daughter of the Goddess…and when you blow out those candles next to your bedside, blow with it all of your fear.
    Find giggles & more chocolate & a fabulous bed-mate!!

  2. Hi Alison. I had to smile when I read this post, because when my hubby is on night shifts that's exactly what I'm like. Though I can only imagine what it must be like permanently. I feel for you. But here's something for you to contemplate, and you being the enlightened soul you are will probably have thought about this already… the Autumn drawing in, signalling the onset of Winter, is nature steadily marching on. She stops for no one, always moving forward, bringing new growth and new possibilities. After a particularly tough summer (and I have had one of my own but for different reasons) the start of this season is really refreshing. The hard times, for now, are well and truly behind us. Let's get excited about new beginnings!

  3. Hi Alison. I had to smile when I read this post, because when my hubby is on night shifts that's exactly what I'm like. Though I can only imagine what it must be like permanently. I feel for you. But here's something for you to contemplate, and you being the enlightened soul you are will probably have thought about this already… the Autumn drawing in, signalling the onset of Winter, is nature steadily marching on. She stops for no one, always moving forward, bringing new growth and new possibilities. After a particularly tough summer (and I have had one of my own but for different reasons) the start of this season is really refreshing. The hard times, for now, are well and truly behind us. Let's get excited about new beginnings!

  4. I was the same when I was on my own – but after about 6 months or so, it eased a bit, and I started to enjoy the "me-time".
    And now that I have the happy relationship – the same nighttime feelings are there LOL
    We are women, and a more contrary creature you will never find!
    I guess we just have to accept, and be. Just be.
    xx

  5. Alison I wish you so much happiness. Just know that when you are feeling uneasy and anxious, others are thinking about you and pulling for you and hoping for the very best for you.
    Maybe by throwing yourself into the spirit of the season and the comforting rhythms of everyday routines, you will feel better. Sometimes the most mundane steps in living can make you feel more secure. And you always put so much effort into making the simple little things special. I'm sure before long the nighttime will not make you feel so uneasy.
    Take care.

  6. Alison I wish you so much happiness. Just know that when you are feeling uneasy and anxious, others are thinking about you and pulling for you and hoping for the very best for you.
    Maybe by throwing yourself into the spirit of the season and the comforting rhythms of everyday routines, you will feel better. Sometimes the most mundane steps in living can make you feel more secure. And you always put so much effort into making the simple little things special. I'm sure before long the nighttime will not make you feel so uneasy.
    Take care.

  7. Oh, Dear Heart! I hear you!
    I am now living on my own once again…even though temporary, it is hard.
    My Feller has moved to North Carolina for a new ER job and I am manning the home front here in Kentucky. It is hard and lonely but I stay so busy, I rarely have time to dwell to it. I am unlike you in that my child is away at college but that also makes it difficult. When I was "alone" before, I had her around me. Now…it is just me and the cat. He is a rather self absorbed creature, however.
    My stress is in maintaining this huge two level house by myself. (I would love a cozy little cottage!) So much can go wrong at any given moment as learned recently with our flood. I wear myself out checking on things but maybe with time, I will get a little less paranoid, but not less watchful.
    Please know we are here. Holler at me any time, day or night, if you want or need a chat.
    {{HUGS}}

  8. Oh, Dear Heart! I hear you!
    I am now living on my own once again…even though temporary, it is hard.
    My Feller has moved to North Carolina for a new ER job and I am manning the home front here in Kentucky. It is hard and lonely but I stay so busy, I rarely have time to dwell to it. I am unlike you in that my child is away at college but that also makes it difficult. When I was "alone" before, I had her around me. Now…it is just me and the cat. He is a rather self absorbed creature, however.
    My stress is in maintaining this huge two level house by myself. (I would love a cozy little cottage!) So much can go wrong at any given moment as learned recently with our flood. I wear myself out checking on things but maybe with time, I will get a little less paranoid, but not less watchful.
    Please know we are here. Holler at me any time, day or night, if you want or need a chat.
    {{HUGS}}

  9. You poor thing, I can say that because I've been where you are. I'm not going to say it will pass,( it will) nor am I going to say get tough,( you will). What i am going to say is get a little busy, just a little. Make some thing, some thing,creative, big earings,a flower arrangment, a vintage christmas tree, small and detailed. Mostly, what I'm saying is keep your hands moving and the rest of you will follow, even your thoughts.Make your spaces different. Wisedom will come, just keep the air moving around you. darlene

  10. You have come such a long way, and you are doing well, I cant wait for something utterly amazing to happen for you…and it will.Yes Winter will come, but spring always follows.xx

  11. You have come such a long way, and you are doing well, I cant wait for something utterly amazing to happen for you…and it will.Yes Winter will come, but spring always follows.xx

  12. Oh Alison, reading this almost had me in tears because I know exactly what you're going through(except I don't have a lovely little babba to check on, it really is just me) and can totally understand your feelings of not really wanting the nights to be dark and to be all alone. I split with my boyfriend two and a half months ago and sometimes I tell myself that I love having the space and other times I just cry and cry. To make matters worse, we're still best of friends, still love each other madly,and lately have been making those dark lonely nights go away by spending them together occasionally, yet we want very different things from life right now (I want a babba before I get too old and he's not ready)so I know I will have to get used to the dark nights on my own. All summer I have been reading about what you've gone through and although it has made me cry a lot because I could so relate to the pain you were feeling, it has also given me great strength. Just knowing that there is one other person out there going through some of the same feelings and coping, is so helpful. You have made me feel like there is hope of a happier future even at my worst moments. I know that we will both have someone to share those dark nights with again soon. x

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