Once a month I turn into the housekeeper from hell. There’s just no talking to me. Mostly because I don’t want to talk to you.
I just want to eat cake. For breakfast. For elevenses. For dinner and supper and everytime I have to stop at goddamn traffic lights or nauny three year olds mistake me for their lady in waiting.
Nothing fits. I’m bursting out my bra and Balamory is bursting my eardrums.
Spill milk and I will cry. Spill anything else and I will send you straight to the "thinking about what you have done" mat. Tell me I live in a world of my own and it won’t take more than a hop, skip and a jump to send me hurtling back to the cosy cuggle that is my bed.
So I’ve been thinking. If it is necessary for us to endure this monthly hell, I see no reason why we should not be allowed to declare ourselves out of order for the day and indulge our urge for chocolate orange pudding eaten in our oldest vest and ratty period knickers. On a tray. Under the duvet. All day long.
Imagine that. A whole new Brocante ritual! Imagine if we really did begin to look forward to the worst few days of the month! If we kind of made them the most scrumptious days of the month if only because we declared a strike and let ourselves be ever so slightly outrageous in the supermarket: buying gateaux and shouting at dithery old fools who can’t reach things on the top shelves.
I get trolley rage. And buy fresh pasta. I buy spices I don’t need and choose wine and chocolate over necessities like dishwasher tablets. I smirk at people I don’t like and occasionally ignore the phone. I make Finley give me more snuggles than it is cool for a babba to give. I get kind of needy and whingy and make no sense. I am in short, a cow.
Because I can. Becasue pmt is torture and there has to be some compensation in this life…
Bleep! There goes the microwave. Another chocolate pudding down the hatch.
Create your own Brocante Life Book, plan Christmas, set up routines and rituals or live life the BrocanteHome way with my guided workbooks and planners.
So much for being oh, so, terribly organised. There is a rather lovely turquoise Christmas bauble hanging from the curtain rail in my dining room. Never mind. There are Easter Eggs in the shops, so it must be nearly Christmas. How lazy…
Peace that was the other name for home… Download The House of Belonging questionnaire now and over the next few days I will be going over it question by question, providing food for thought, ideas for feeling more at home and gently…
My love of the cosy mystery it seems will never tire, and after last years gallop through the Agatha Raisin and Hamish Macbeth series, this year, before Winter comes a calling I have grabbed a box set full of Mary Stewart novels…
One has a cold but one mustn’t moan. Even when my nose is so red it is making small children laugh out loud and the sun is cracking the flags Never mind. Lets do something constructively puttery instead. How about whipping up…
The Blurb… “MOTHERHOOD takes place in a single day that pushes to the tipping point Eliza’s fundamental fear she’s lost herself. Starting at dawn, her to-do list is daunting: prepare for and throw her daughter’s 6th birthday party, mind her toddler son, battle…
In our early twenties, Mark and I were one couple in a group of four. There was us, Chris and Sue, Colin and Shirley and Michael and Emma, together in the time before babies and mortgages. Spending New Year together and grouped…
Have you ever read The Red Tent by Anita Diamant? It's set in Biblical times when women were banished to the red tent when Aunt Flo came to visit. It was a wondeful female bonding ritual that men would never dare to interrupt. It's a fabulous book to read- especially while eating cake.
Have you ever read The Red Tent by Anita Diamant? It's set in Biblical times when women were banished to the red tent when Aunt Flo came to visit. It was a wondeful female bonding ritual that men would never dare to interrupt. It's a fabulous book to read- especially while eating cake.
I always tell my family when auntie flo is due…helps the whole situation! lol I've got to agree with your suggestion whole-heartedly, makes perfect sense!
I always tell my family when auntie flo is due…helps the whole situation! lol I've got to agree with your suggestion whole-heartedly, makes perfect sense!
Boo… I'm off of you tonight Alison. First, it was the Power Rangers and now you discover this wonderful pamper yourself thing when I'm at the door of NEVER having a visit from Auntie Flo again!!! After struggling along for nearly half a century! Booo! hahaa… I'll just set aside a day I feel horrible, like take your pick! and P.S. I always called her "The Red Fairy."
Boo… I'm off of you tonight Alison. First, it was the Power Rangers and now you discover this wonderful pamper yourself thing when I'm at the door of NEVER having a visit from Auntie Flo again!!! After struggling along for nearly half a century! Booo! hahaa… I'll just set aside a day I feel horrible, like take your pick! and P.S. I always called her "The Red Fairy."
I loved The Red Tent. It suddenly made Aunt Flo's visits seem a bit more natural in my mind – rather than the horrible thing it really has seemed to be all these years. Pass the cake, by the way!
I loved The Red Tent. It suddenly made Aunt Flo's visits seem a bit more natural in my mind – rather than the horrible thing it really has seemed to be all these years. Pass the cake, by the way!
Oh, you're absolutely right. And I love The Red Tent, it's in my permanent collection. (what do you think that is on the bottom right, it looks like corndogs!?)
Oh, you're absolutely right. And I love The Red Tent, it's in my permanent collection. (what do you think that is on the bottom right, it looks like corndogs!?)
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Here! Here!
Here! Here!
Have you ever read The Red Tent by Anita Diamant? It's set in Biblical times when women were banished to the red tent when Aunt Flo came to visit. It was a wondeful female bonding ritual that men would never dare to interrupt. It's a fabulous book to read- especially while eating cake.
Have you ever read The Red Tent by Anita Diamant? It's set in Biblical times when women were banished to the red tent when Aunt Flo came to visit. It was a wondeful female bonding ritual that men would never dare to interrupt. It's a fabulous book to read- especially while eating cake.
I always tell my family when auntie flo is due…helps the whole situation! lol
I've got to agree with your suggestion whole-heartedly, makes perfect sense!
I always tell my family when auntie flo is due…helps the whole situation! lol
I've got to agree with your suggestion whole-heartedly, makes perfect sense!
I know just how you feel! I just can't imagine being banished to a different house/tent though 🙂
I know just how you feel! I just can't imagine being banished to a different house/tent though 🙂
hah — feel better sweet Alison! 🙂
hah — feel better sweet Alison! 🙂
I dont care what I come back as in the next life as long as I can eat what I want.
I dont care what I come back as in the next life as long as I can eat what I want.
heehee…I'm in on this "day-off" once a month thing!
heehee…I'm in on this "day-off" once a month thing!
Boo… I'm off of you tonight Alison. First, it was the Power Rangers and now you discover this wonderful pamper yourself thing when I'm at the door of NEVER having a visit from Auntie Flo again!!! After struggling along for nearly half a century! Booo! hahaa… I'll just set aside a day I feel horrible, like take your pick! and P.S. I always called her "The Red Fairy."
Boo… I'm off of you tonight Alison. First, it was the Power Rangers and now you discover this wonderful pamper yourself thing when I'm at the door of NEVER having a visit from Auntie Flo again!!! After struggling along for nearly half a century! Booo! hahaa… I'll just set aside a day I feel horrible, like take your pick! and P.S. I always called her "The Red Fairy."
I loved The Red Tent. It suddenly made Aunt Flo's visits seem a bit more natural in my mind – rather than the horrible thing it really has seemed to be all these years.
Pass the cake, by the way!
I loved The Red Tent. It suddenly made Aunt Flo's visits seem a bit more natural in my mind – rather than the horrible thing it really has seemed to be all these years.
Pass the cake, by the way!
Oh, you're absolutely right. And I love The Red Tent, it's in my permanent collection.
(what do you think that is on the bottom right, it looks like corndogs!?)
Oh, you're absolutely right. And I love The Red Tent, it's in my permanent collection.
(what do you think that is on the bottom right, it looks like corndogs!?)