Haunted Houses

By alison August 19, 2013 29 Comments 3 Min Read

Yesterday afternoon, by majority vote, Kath, Richard and I, went to see The Conjuring.

Now when I say “majority vote” please let it be hereby known, that I was not in that majority.  Horror films are not fun, and just as I can’t see the point of scaring myself witless on a fairground ride, nor do I find horror films any kind of entertaining and tend to sit scrunched up, with my heart banging in my ears, shoving an enormous hot dog down my throat and praying for mercy from the kind of films that specialize in making me jump out of my skin, and at one point yesterday, giving me such a fright that I walloped poor Kath on the leg! Oh yes: I am one of those– make me jump and I am very likely to whack you in fright while channeling Maria and singing “These are a “Few of My Favorite Things ” under my terrified breath …

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, Brown paper packages tied up with strings, Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels, Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles, Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings, these are a few of my favorite things…

Truth is I don’t even know what a schnitzel with noodles is, but I’m pretty sure that I’d like it better than spooky dolls, apparitions swinging from trees, and poor little girls in seventies polyester nighties frightened completely out of their wits. Yep I’ll take schnitzel any day over that. For The Conjuring was the worst kind of horror. It felt real.

There was very little blood and guts and an awful lot of chills and jumps and heart attacks and worst of all, it was based on a true story and it was a house that was harboring the malevolent force frightening the Perron family senseless.

Ugh. I hate that. I hate the very idea that four walls can harbor atmosphere and ugliness. The idea that our homes, places of sanctuary and necessary safety can resent our presence and that what should be gone is still there. Most of me (the sensible, rational me) knows it can’t be real and yet some of me thinks that if arguments can linger in a room, then much worse can write itself all over the walls in invisible ink, haunting us, resenting us and driving us slowly crazy…

And this is such a common theme in modern day horror isn’t it? Every film I am forced to watch by Kath and Rich seems to involve a naughty house and it just doesn’t sit well with me, when my entire ethos is based upon the notion that when we hug our house, it will always, always hug us back, that the walls of our homes stand between us and the malevolence all too common on the streets beyond our garden gates and it is only inside them, that we can find true refuge.

So there I sat, yesterday afternoon, concentrating on admiring the decor in the house causing all the trouble (the youngest child’s bedroom has the most wonderful wallpaper!) while sneaking peeks either side of me at Kath on my right and Rich on my left, both of them sitting with their heads in their hands, peeking at the horror on the big screen in front of us and apparently enjoying it!

We as a people are rather around the bend aren’t we? What  is there to enjoy about the kind of entertainment that has you doubting your safety in your own house?? Making every squeak of the old beams in the loft of this 160 year old house seem menacing? What, I ask you? What??

Phew. Rant over. Please don’t make me go see anymore of this nonsense now will you? Darn it people, mine is the kind of sensitive soul mean old witches could take advantage of in a spooky heartbeat! 

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29 Comments

  1. I agree! I really hate slasher/gasher horror, but the creepy, “what if?” kind lingers in the corners for quite a while… Stir of Echoes comes to mind…. I watched it alone, late, years ago… But why? Hugs and Sunshine…. And Schnitzel!

    1. brocantehome says:

      Oh but what the heck IS schnitzel Gayla??x

  2. I agree! I really hate slasher/gasher horror, but the creepy, “what if?” kind lingers in the corners for quite a while… Stir of Echoes comes to mind…. I watched it alone, late, years ago… But why? Hugs and Sunshine…. And Schnitzel!

    1. brocantehome says:

      Oh but what the heck IS schnitzel Gayla??x

  3. tiffibug says:

    I used to LOVE scary movies. I particularly liked the psychological thrillers. I haven’t been able to watch them since becoming a mother. I have too many other things to worry about, I don’t want to be scared on purpose anymore.

  4. tiffibug says:

    I used to LOVE scary movies. I particularly liked the psychological thrillers. I haven’t been able to watch them since becoming a mother. I have too many other things to worry about, I don’t want to be scared on purpose anymore.

  5. Heather says:

    I will not, will not, will not see any kind of movie like that that will cause me unnecessary anxiety. Life’s too short to be scared of something that isn’t even real in the first place.
    I do, however, love a good scary novel. There is just something about being in a theater where you are surrounded by sight and sound that encompasses your whole being. It’s too much.

  6. Heather says:

    I will not, will not, will not see any kind of movie like that that will cause me unnecessary anxiety. Life’s too short to be scared of something that isn’t even real in the first place.
    I do, however, love a good scary novel. There is just something about being in a theater where you are surrounded by sight and sound that encompasses your whole being. It’s too much.

  7. Emma-Jayne says:

    I do love a good scary movie, but I have to be in the mood for it, and I don’t like slasher films I much prefer the psychological and trying to guess what will happen next! I wont make the mistake of watching them on my own again though as the last time I did that I was up half the night!

  8. Emma-Jayne says:

    I do love a good scary movie, but I have to be in the mood for it, and I don’t like slasher films I much prefer the psychological and trying to guess what will happen next! I wont make the mistake of watching them on my own again though as the last time I did that I was up half the night!

  9. Debbie says:

    I do not like scary movies at all. I like peace, harmony and goodwill within my walls.
    I would hate to think I would revert back to when my sister and I stayed home alone together one time and we both climbed the stairs with hairspray cans thinking we could eliminate whatever it was up there scaring us with a good squirt in the eyes with alcohol and a bit of fragrance or the time after watching Amityville Horror movie, I had to walk home in the dark because my ride didn’t show up. Last scary movie I ever watched….

  10. Debbie says:

    I do not like scary movies at all. I like peace, harmony and goodwill within my walls.
    I would hate to think I would revert back to when my sister and I stayed home alone together one time and we both climbed the stairs with hairspray cans thinking we could eliminate whatever it was up there scaring us with a good squirt in the eyes with alcohol and a bit of fragrance or the time after watching Amityville Horror movie, I had to walk home in the dark because my ride didn’t show up. Last scary movie I ever watched….

  11. Annmarie says:

    Schnitzel is a breaded and fried meat cutlet. Wiener Schnitzel is made from veal, but I don’t know why it’s Wiener — maybe it’s a form of Vienna.Anyway, Schnitzel with noodles is a very comforting dish.

  12. Annmarie says:

    Schnitzel is a breaded and fried meat cutlet. Wiener Schnitzel is made from veal, but I don’t know why it’s Wiener — maybe it’s a form of Vienna.
    Anyway, Schnitzel with noodles is a very comforting dish.

  13. Jo says:

    14 years ago, my now-husband & I went to see The Blair Witch Project together. I was so scared that I had to sleep with the lights on and music playing for TWO WEEKS after. That’s when I realised horror film are not for me & I’ve refused to see them ever since. Am shuddering at the thought of a haunted house!Jo x
    P.S. Schnitzel is a pork escalope, covered in breadcrumbs. Not particularly nice, but a heck of a lot nicer that The Conjuring, I’m sure!

  14. Jo says:

    14 years ago, my now-husband & I went to see The Blair Witch Project together. I was so scared that I had to sleep with the lights on and music playing for TWO WEEKS after. That’s when I realised horror film are not for me & I’ve refused to see them ever since. Am shuddering at the thought of a haunted house!
    Jo x
    P.S. Schnitzel is a pork escalope, covered in breadcrumbs. Not particularly nice, but a heck of a lot nicer that The Conjuring, I’m sure!

  15. Victoria says:

    I can’t deny a good horror movie but I remember seeing one and whilst there was a massive blood and guts murder scene in some derelict cottage I was admiring the vintage fixtures thinking oh if only I could have cleaned the place up it would be perfect!
    I saw the Conjuring a couple of weeks ago with my sister in law when staying with the family… I handled the film well and still sat soundly but waking up to my nephews face in mine was a bit of scary shock to the system till I adjusted!!

    Victoria

    FlorenceandMary.com

  16. Victoria says:

    I can’t deny a good horror movie but I remember seeing one and whilst there was a massive blood and guts murder scene in some derelict cottage I was admiring the vintage fixtures thinking oh if only I could have cleaned the place up it would be perfect!
    I saw the Conjuring a couple of weeks ago with my sister in law when staying with the family… I handled the film well and still sat soundly but waking up to my nephews face in mine was a bit of scary shock to the system till I adjusted!!
    Victoria
    FlorenceandMary.com

  17. Jules says:

    I will not watch scary movies, there is enough in a daily newspaper to give me the heebeejeebies regularly! A schnitzel is a thin piece of veal, crumbed (breaded) and pan fried. Quite delicious when done well and, although I never have, I imagine in Vienna it may be served with buttered noodles!

  18. Jules says:

    I will not watch scary movies, there is enough in a daily newspaper to give me the heebeejeebies regularly! A schnitzel is a thin piece of veal, crumbed (breaded) and pan fried. Quite delicious when done well and, although I never have, I imagine in Vienna it may be served with buttered noodles!

  19. Fiona says:

    Agree 100% on the whole being scared thing. I go to movies to feel good not to feel worse.Schnitzel is either a flattened chicken breast or a traditionally, a piece of veal (don’t eat veal!) which has been crumbed and pan fried. Noodles = pasta. Yummo.

  20. Fiona says:

    Agree 100% on the whole being scared thing. I go to movies to feel good not to feel worse.
    Schnitzel is either a flattened chicken breast or a traditionally, a piece of veal (don’t eat veal!) which has been crumbed and pan fried. Noodles = pasta. Yummo.

  21. Jane Grayson says:

    I’m not a fan either, although I love to read scary books – not blood and gore though. Houses, as well as other buildings, can absorb atmosphere and negative emotion and hold on to it. It’s also believed that they can kind of record or create a memory of events that happen with a lot of emotional charge and then, on occasion, play it back – hence people saying they see apparitions. A colleague who is a Diocesan Exorcist has come across this loads of times.

  22. Jane Grayson says:

    I’m not a fan either, although I love to read scary books – not blood and gore though. Houses, as well as other buildings, can absorb atmosphere and negative emotion and hold on to it. It’s also believed that they can kind of record or create a memory of events that happen with a lot of emotional charge and then, on occasion, play it back – hence people saying they see apparitions. A colleague who is a Diocesan Exorcist has come across this loads of times.

  23. Ack, scary books are even worse than movies. As a rule of thumb I try to stay away from anything that will keep me away from my beloved REM moments. I do love a good campy film though, the kind that are so bad they’re hilarious. Have you tried a turn-based system instead of votes? At least then you could be guaranteed that your suffering would not be in vain.

  24. Ack, scary books are even worse than movies. As a rule of thumb I try to stay away from anything that will keep me away from my beloved REM moments. I do love a good campy film though, the kind that are so bad they’re hilarious. Have you tried a turn-based system instead of votes? At least then you could be guaranteed that your suffering would not be in vain.

  25. jademichele says:

    i don’t like horror movies either! i’ll watch a spooky movie- like Rebecca,Wuthering Heights or Jane Eyre. i did once experience a ‘good’ kind of ‘haunting’ in an old house in Alabama. i was about 12 and went to visit some family friends with my parents,everyone else was downstairs,i was alone on a different floor and while wandering through the rooms there was suddenly the strong scent of flowers-where there were no fresh flowers! it was lovely,actually and i somehow knew it was something–different. when i met up with the adults, i told them about it,the owners of the house said that others had experienced this same ‘haunting” .

  26. jademichele says:

    i don’t like horror movies either! i’ll watch a spooky movie- like Rebecca,Wuthering Heights or Jane Eyre. i did once experience a ‘good’ kind of ‘haunting’ in an old house in Alabama. i was about 12 and went to visit some family friends with my parents,everyone else was downstairs,i was alone on a different floor and while wandering through the rooms there was suddenly the strong scent of flowers-where there were no fresh flowers! it was lovely,actually and i somehow knew it was something–different. when i met up with the adults, i told them about it,the owners of the house said that others had experienced this same ‘haunting” .

  27. jademichele says:

    i don’t like horror movies either! i’ll watch a spooky movie- like Rebecca,Wuthering Heights or Jane Eyre. i did once experience a ‘good’ kind of ‘haunting’ in an old house in Alabama. i was about 12 and went to visit some family friends with my parents,everyone else was downstairs,i was alone on a different floor and while wandering through the rooms there was suddenly the strong scent of flowers-where there were no fresh flowers! it was lovely,actually and i somehow knew it was something–different. when i met up with the adults, i told them about it,the owners of the house said that others had experienced this same ‘haunting” .

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