If only dinner cooked itself, And groceries grew upon the shelf; If children did as they were told, And never had a cough or cold; And washed their hands, and wiped their boots, And never tore their Sunday suits, But always tidied up the floor, Nor once forgot to shut the door.
If John remembered not to throw His papers on the ground. And oh! If he would put his pipes away, And shake the ashes on the tray Instead of on the floor close by; And always spread his towel to dry, And hung his hat upon the peg, And never had bones in his leg.
Then, there’s another thing. If Jane Would put the matches back again Just where she found them, it would be A save of time to her and me. And if she never did forget To put the dustbin out; nor yet Contrive to gossip with the baker, Nor need ten thunderbolts to wake her.
Ahem! If wishes all came true, I don’t know what I’d find to do, Because if no one made a mess There’d be no need of cleanliness. And things might work so blissfully, In time—who knows?—they’d not need me!
And this being so, I fancy whether I’ll go on keeping things together.
Fay Inchfawn
The Verse-Book Of A Homely Woman: Fay Inchfawn
Elizabeth Rebecca Ward used the pseudonym Fay Inchfawn. Poems in this collection include The long view — Within my house — The housewife — To mother — In such an hour — On Washing Day and more…
Hello lovely ladies, how wonderful that so many of you have decided to become Superstars before the price goes up at the end of this month! I couldn’t be more delighted to welcome you in to our scrumptious fold (But please remember to accept my invitation to the salon to make the most of your…
"Peggy was a good little girl on the whole, Quite good in a number of ways. But to tell of the lot that Peggy forgot Would take me several days." These gorgeous little illustrations are from a book I picked up at a market last week for not a lot and turn out to be…
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Lordy Ladies, you don’t wanna cross me today. I’m in a right little strop. My lovely friend Emma is getting married in a month’s time, and being the oh so elegant, oh so refined woman that she is, she is not insisting on donning a tiara and tra-lalling around town with a string of drunken…
Sometimes the depth of wonderful talent to be found on the internet, fair takes my breath away. Take for example Miss Erin Hanson, the eighteen year old somebody who turns out to be the writer of three of the poems on Pinterest I keep on pinning and re-pinning, each time astonished by the truth written…
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