It was my Mums birthday last week, so I took her out for lunch and afterwards we sat in the car park of a chi-chi little deli in a barn and talked about me. My favorite subject!
This wise woman told me that I was driving myself bonkers living according to my very own set of self-inflicted rules. That though I might romanticize every aspect of my pretty little life and re-label rules as routines and rituals, my rigidity and determination to stick to some of my madder ideas meant that I was essentially ruling myself with an iron fist battering me daily into submission.
Ugh. I was temporarily outraged. The cheek of it coming from a lady who eats the same dinner every night! And then because I am her daughter and I know she only ever tells me things which might (or might not) be true, I agreed that eating a fancy pants dinner and dessert every night when really my whole being is yearning for nothing more than a bowl of cereal is downright ludicrous not only because it takes time to organise and cook, but also because it is making me fat and contributing to the carb-ocide threatening my health.
And my evening meal is just the tip of the iceberg. There are the sleep rules, the morning rules, the TV rules, the laundry rules, the Brocantehome rules, the baking rules, the Finn rules and oh so many more. In fact I have a list of “mustn’ts” and “must do’s” as long as my arm.
I am a walking bucket of preposterous maxim’s and hell’s bells if it isn’t exhausting! And such a depressing bummer when I let myself down as I so frequently do. You see though it simply isn’t and cannot be true, I like to believe that I am in charge of the whole wide world so when things happen that I cannot control (like the downtime on Brocante this week!), I nearly lose my marbles and and as a result tighten the screws on the routines and rituals that keep me sane. You see I have just never quite managed to embrace the “delicious ambiguity” that Gilda Radner once spoke of…
“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.”
So there we were: me and My Mum, admiring the two darling little cocker spaniels sitting outside the barn, arguing about which one we would take home if we could and agreeing that the path to my survival involves Aldi’s chocolate cereal and a resolution to go easy on myself. To forgive myself when things go wrong, as they sometimes will and to practice a more casual approach to life, that won’t involve smacking myself around the head with a frying pan whenever life behaves outrageously or my tummy declares a passion for a meal Martha Stewart would not approve of.
Routines and rituals may be the mainstay of life as a Vintage Housekeeper, but they, like every other kind of rule are apparently made to be broken. For delicious ambiguity and disaster very rarely threaten our lives and choosing oats over omelette won’t bring our lives to a grinding standstill. Quelle surprise! Quel dommage that I never realized this until the grand old age of 41 and a half….
Create your own Brocante Life Book, plan Christmas, set up routines and rituals or live life the BrocanteHome way with my guided workbooks and planners.
Today the house feels like home again: a place I recognise and know. A place without anything to hide but the spiders trying to build tangled webs across every corner of my ceilings. The weather seems bewildered: it is at once blustery…
If Marks and Spencers (or Marksies as we like to call it round here!) ever went the same way as our much missed Woolworths, I really think I’d slit my wrists. While perusing the newest store in the area and feeling almost…
There are some utterly divine rolls of vintage wallpaper available at SecondHand Rose at the moment.Most are a little too wild to do a whole room with at the moment (although I do so love the glamour of one really fabulous…
Oh scrumptious! There is nothing I like better than finding delicious ways to turn routine into a ritual to be savored: particularly when that routine is as dull as washing your smalls- so I am always thrilled to find products that offer…
“Bubbles rising on the top of a cup of tea are kisses. To make sure of getting the kisses, skim the bubbles off with a spoon and sip them from it. The spoon must not touch the sides of the tea-cup or…
Recipes and Tips From The Good Home Company. P.O.S.H. Chicago | Silverware, Restaurant China, Flea Market Finds Wesabe Year Of Living Generously Little Golden Books Wallpaper in the Archives – Victoria and Albert Museum Etsy :: Flea Market Sudio Pearl Lowe Sew…
8 Comments
She’s surely a wise woman! Too many times we forget to give ourselves grace!I say yay for cereals for dinner (to me that would be sour cream and onion Pringles).
hugs from Italy (where mothers, and mothers in law!, usually put so much weight on your shoulders in terms of mustn’ts and must do’s… learning to give up any perfectionism here)
She’s surely a wise woman! Too many times we forget to give ourselves grace! I say yay for cereals for dinner (to me that would be sour cream and onion Pringles). hugs from Italy (where mothers, and mothers in law!, usually put so much weight on your shoulders in terms of mustn’ts and must do’s… learning to give up any perfectionism here)
Welcome to your 40s sweet thing. As I near the end of them I realise that it is equally about deciding what shoulds we want to do, and put aside the endless comparing ourselves with others that the 20s and 30s are all about.
Welcome to your 40s sweet thing. As I near the end of them I realise that it is equally about deciding what shoulds we want to do, and put aside the endless comparing ourselves with others that the 20s and 30s are all about.
{"id":null,"mode":"form","open_style":"in_place","currency_code":"USD","currency_symbol":"$","currency_type":"decimal","blank_flag_url":"https:\/\/brocantehome.net\/wp-content\/plugins\/tip-jar-wp\/\/assets\/images\/flags\/blank.gif","flag_sprite_url":"https:\/\/brocantehome.net\/wp-content\/plugins\/tip-jar-wp\/\/assets\/images\/flags\/flags.png","default_amount":300,"top_media_type":"featured_image","featured_image_url":"http:\/\/brocantehome.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/tipjar-2.png","featured_embed":"","header_media":null,"file_download_attachment_data":null,"recurring_options_enabled":true,"recurring_options":{"never":{"selected":true,"after_output":"One time only"},"weekly":{"selected":false,"after_output":"Every week"},"monthly":{"selected":false,"after_output":"Every month"},"yearly":{"selected":false,"after_output":"Every year"}},"strings":{"current_user_email":"","current_user_name":"","link_text":"Leave a tip","complete_payment_button_error_text":"Check info and try again","payment_verb":"Pay","payment_request_label":"BrocanteHome","form_has_an_error":"Please check and fix the errors above","general_server_error":"Something isn't working right at the moment. Please try again.","form_title":"BrocanteHome","form_subtitle":"Help Me to Keep BrocanteHome Online","currency_search_text":"Country or Currency here","other_payment_option":"Other payment option","manage_payments_button_text":"Manage your payments","thank_you_message":"Thank you so much: helping me keep Brocantehome online really means the world to me.","payment_confirmation_title":"BrocanteHome","receipt_title":"Your Receipt","print_receipt":"Print Receipt","email_receipt":"Email Receipt","email_receipt_sending":"Sending receipt...","email_receipt_success":"Email receipt successfully sent","email_receipt_failed":"Email receipt failed to send. Please try again.","receipt_payee":"Paid to","receipt_statement_descriptor":"This will show up on your statement as","receipt_date":"Date","receipt_transaction_id":"Transaction ID","receipt_transaction_amount":"Amount","refund_payer":"Refund from","login":"Log in to manage your payments","manage_payments":"Manage Payments","transactions_title":"Your Transactions","transaction_title":"Transaction Receipt","transaction_period":"Plan Period","arrangements_title":"Your Plans","arrangement_title":"Manage Plan","arrangement_details":"Plan Details","arrangement_id_title":"Plan ID","arrangement_payment_method_title":"Payment Method","arrangement_amount_title":"Plan Amount","arrangement_renewal_title":"Next renewal date","arrangement_action_cancel":"Cancel Plan","arrangement_action_cant_cancel":"Cancelling is currently not available.","arrangement_action_cancel_double":"Are you sure you'd like to cancel?","arrangement_cancelling":"Cancelling Plan...","arrangement_cancelled":"Plan Cancelled","arrangement_failed_to_cancel":"Failed to cancel plan","back_to_plans":"\u2190 Back to Plans","update_payment_method_verb":"Update","sca_auth_description":"Your have a pending renewal payment which requires authorization.","sca_auth_verb":"Authorize renewal payment","sca_authing_verb":"Authorizing payment","sca_authed_verb":"Payment successfully authorized!","sca_auth_failed":"Unable to authorize! Please try again.","login_button_text":"Log in","login_form_has_an_error":"Please check and fix the errors above","uppercase_search":"Search","lowercase_search":"search","uppercase_page":"Page","lowercase_page":"page","uppercase_items":"Items","lowercase_items":"items","uppercase_per":"Per","lowercase_per":"per","uppercase_of":"Of","lowercase_of":"of","back":"Back to plans","zip_code_placeholder":"Zip\/Postal Code","download_file_button_text":"Download File","input_field_instructions":{"tip_amount":{"placeholder_text":"How much would you like to tip?","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"How much would you like to tip? Choose any currency."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"How much would you like to tip? Choose any currency."},"invalid_curency":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Please choose a valid currency."}},"recurring":{"placeholder_text":"Recurring","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"How often would you like to give this?"},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"How often would you like to give this?"},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"How often would you like to give this?"}},"name":{"placeholder_text":"Name on Credit Card","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter the name on your card."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Enter the name on your card."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Please enter the name on your card."}},"privacy_policy":{"terms_title":"Terms and conditions","terms_body":null,"terms_show_text":"View Terms","terms_hide_text":"Hide Terms","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"I agree to the terms."},"unchecked":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Please agree to the terms."},"checked":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"I agree to the terms."}},"email":{"placeholder_text":"Your email address","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your email address"},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Enter your email address"},"blank":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your email address"},"not_an_email_address":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Make sure you have entered a valid email address"}},"note_with_tip":{"placeholder_text":"Your note here...","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Attach a note to your tip (optional)"},"empty":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Attach a note to your tip (optional)"},"not_empty_initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Attach a note to your tip (optional)"},"saving":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Saving note..."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Note successfully saved!"},"error":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Unable to save note note at this time. Please try again."}},"email_for_login_code":{"placeholder_text":"Your email address","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."},"blank":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."}},"login_code":{"initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."},"blank":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."}},"stripe_all_in_one":{"initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your credit card details here."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your credit card details here."},"success":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your credit card details here."},"invalid_number":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card number is not a valid credit card number."},"invalid_expiry_month":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration month is invalid."},"invalid_expiry_year":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration year is invalid."},"invalid_cvc":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's security code is invalid."},"incorrect_number":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card number is incorrect."},"incomplete_number":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card number is incomplete."},"incomplete_cvc":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's security code is incomplete."},"incomplete_expiry":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration date is incomplete."},"incomplete_zip":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's zip code is incomplete."},"expired_card":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card has expired."},"incorrect_cvc":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's security code is incorrect."},"incorrect_zip":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's zip code failed validation."},"invalid_expiry_year_past":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration year is in the past"},"card_declined":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card was declined."},"missing":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"There is no card on a customer that is being charged."},"processing_error":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"An error occurred while processing the card."},"invalid_request_error":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Unable to process this payment, please try again or use alternative method."},"invalid_sofort_country":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The billing country is not accepted by SOFORT. Please try another country."}}}},"fetched_oembed_html":false}
She’s surely a wise woman! Too many times we forget to give ourselves grace!I say yay for cereals for dinner (to me that would be sour cream and onion Pringles).
hugs from Italy (where mothers, and mothers in law!, usually put so much weight on your shoulders in terms of mustn’ts and must do’s… learning to give up any perfectionism here)
She’s surely a wise woman! Too many times we forget to give ourselves grace!
I say yay for cereals for dinner (to me that would be sour cream and onion Pringles).
hugs from Italy (where mothers, and mothers in law!, usually put so much weight on your shoulders in terms of mustn’ts and must do’s… learning to give up any perfectionism here)
Oh, yes! What good advice! I’m sure even your DOWN time is spiffy enough!
Oh, yes! What good advice! I’m sure even your DOWN time is spiffy enough!
Your Mom is one smart chick! I say this because I’ve said these thing recently to my 3 adult daughters/mommies. Sometimes we just have to breathe.
Your Mom is one smart chick! I say this because I’ve said these thing recently to my 3 adult daughters/mommies. Sometimes we just have to breathe.
Welcome to your 40s sweet thing. As I near the end of them I realise that it is equally about deciding what shoulds we want to do, and put aside the endless comparing ourselves with others that the 20s and 30s are all about.
Welcome to your 40s sweet thing. As I near the end of them I realise that it is equally about deciding what shoulds we want to do, and put aside the endless comparing ourselves with others that the 20s and 30s are all about.