Change

By alison March 25, 2011 13 Comments 2 Min Read

Too much life goes on in this house. Remnants of birthdays and homework clutter every surface. A pretty pile of Greengate tea-towels here, a cardboard car with working wheels there.
And so much more. A bag full of Richards clothes in the dining room. Three new light switches next to the TV. Cath Kidston wallpaper  tacked to the wall. A teachers award for my little boy on the mantlepiece. Upstairs a bottle of my favorite perfume wearing Buzz Lightyears head in lieu of a lid and the rocking horse on the landing draped in clothes destined for the Charity shop.
Everything is changing. All a sudden we have plans. (Plans SPOOK me). Richard is being made redundant in May. He will move in here when his world has been turned upside down and I will have to sacrifice my laundry room to make space for a tiny little home office for him. There is talk of a new kitchen. New white plastic scary double glazed windows and new bed linen we can call ours. Everything is changing. And I’m not good with change. Change, my Darlings makes my skin crawl. And yet it is much anticipated. Necessary. So very, very welcome.
So every weekend now is given over to making space. To offering  drawer-space to man-sized socks and head-space to somebody else’s ideas of  what home should be. To diy, gardening, painting and preparing Finley for the kind of changes he has no say in: to laying the ground for a future we cannot predict. A future with a man in it…
But not tonight. Tonight we rest. Tonight there will be syrup sponge pudding, and custard speckled with vanilla. White wine. A bag of Hershey’s Kisses.  The tea-towels will be safely stashed ready to decorate the kitchen I have already chosen, and the child kissed for being brilliant. There is a set of pretty new bedding on the bed and a gift wrapped in stripes on the pillow for Rich, who is dealing admirably with more change than anyone should have to tackle within the space of a year.
He’ll be here soon. Calling at his own house to feed his cat’s and calling in at the care home where his Dad now lives, to squeeze his hand, as he does daily, on the way. Arriving here exhausted after a long day and looking, always, for the sanctuary I sometimes am, in a house that thrums with life and scatters it on every surface.
Have a lovely weekend Housekeepers.x

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13 Comments

  1. Gena says:

    This is GOOD change honey,embrace it and never look back xx

    1. brocantehome says:

      I'm so going to try Gena…x

  2. Sasha says:

    Oh, I agree. You will, all three, evolve a new kind of home together, one where you can all be enveloped in warmth, love and refuge from the world outside. It has long been so for you and Finley, and now you are opening those doors to someone very special who sounds like he is in need of that special place in your hearts and lives you are making for him, for you all. I wish you all the happiness in the world and as smooth a transition as is humanly possible. Lots of love – be brave! xxx

    1. brocantehome says:

      Oh I truly hope so Sasha. Thank you.x

  3. Ali H. says:

    Ooooh! Exciting stuff. Just remember to breathe. You've got a couple of great guys there to see you through.

    1. brocantehome says:

      You might have to tweet me occasionally to remind me Ali.x

  4. Sally Hackney says:

    Gosh, scary and exciting all in one. Good luck and be happy. You all deserve it. Does "being made redundant" mean being laid-off from your job? Just wondering…

    1. brocantehome says:

      It does Sally, he's been there thirteen years so the change is going to be huge…

  5. Karla says:

    I can definitely understand the anxiety of change. It can be a scary time. But I know that you can make it through to the better stuff on the other side. I'm proud of you for opening yourself and your life and your home up to love once again. We're all here to cheer you on, dear girl. Bravo!

  6. How exciting, though.

  7. Kim says:

    Change is hard, but congratulations on a life of transformation because that is a life truly lived. Hugs, luck, and lots of best wishes. You deserve to be happy and don't you forget it!

  8. Carol M says:

    If I may offer a piece of advice, especially to Richard: My husband recently took an early retirement and does some consulting work from home. (Not the same as redundant, I know, but the home situation may be similar.) The best piece of advice given to my husband was not to upset the woman's schedule.

    1. brocantehome says:

      Carol you have hit the nail exactly on the head… this is one of my biggest fears: I do what I do and some days it's kind of an unconventional way of working and I don't want anybody, even someone I love very much, interfering with my much treasured working rituals…
      Thank you so much for clarifying that it's ok to think this way.x

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