Conundrum

By alison August 31, 2005 8 Comments 2 Min Read

Bethom_1

To move or not to move, that is the question.

You see, we have outgrown our house.  It was just about big enough for the two of us. A tight squeeze for three of us, but if, as we want to, we are to have another little babba, well the poor little thing would have to live on the roof…

The house is a teeny tiny Victorian terraced  church cottage. It has a patch that passes as a front garden,  a titchy little porch that only exists so we don’t get blown away when the front door opens straight into our dining room, a teeny little lounge, a long skinny kitchen, an outhouse that serves as a laundry room, a yard, but no garden, two good sized bedrooms and a huge bathroom. It is small but perfectly formed, and when we first came to view it it was our idea of miniature heaven..

But that was then. Now we scratch our heads and wonder what possessed us, knowing all the time that the reason we bought the house was that it sits on the edge of a lovely little town: that we thought it wise to sacrifice space for location, and that in our young brains, children were a long way off and fortune and riches just around the corner…

Now we look at friends who live in our home town and wonder if we did the right thing.  Five minutes away there are houses half the price and twice the size. Our finances wouldn’t be stretched to the limit and our little boy would be able to play in his own garden. And yet….

See the thing is this: since living here we have been afflicted by what can only be called snobbishness. To move elsewhere would seem like going down the ladder, instead of up, and that surely can’t be a good thing. But if we stay here (we can’t afford to move within the same town- while the house price has risen dramatically, so has everybody elses, and the gap hasn’t narrowed enough to make moving possible here) we have to make the kind of compromises which are beginning to make life difficult on a daily basis. I love my house, but I am realistic enough to agree with Mark that our day to day life would be more comfortable if we all had space to breathe in a house that didn’t look untidy as soon as we put a cup down…

The thought of moving exhausts me: I love this house, this road, this little community. I want my little boy to go the school four doors up, and have my post delivered by Postman Steven. Always. I want someone to assure me that we can have this life in another house, another town because it’s either that or move to France.

Estate agents, here we come.

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8 Comments

  1. Peggy says:

    Its hard to even think you will have as good a life in a new place but it will happen. You will find your piece of heaven, a wonderful postman, the perfect school, and a whole new wonderful life full of adventure… go for it!

  2. Maureen says:

    We have just downsized to a lovely townhouse and left the big family house behind. The children have grown and flown and while I feared we would be making a big mistake at our age, we have found a much friendlier community here and its much lovelier than I ever imagined it could be. Dont worry…You go girlfriend !

  3. Tash says:

    we've just moved into our first house, so i can sympathise on the moving front. It was hectic, but we managed to get the whole lot done in a day (both sets of parents helped)… Do what you feel in your heart is right, because after all, that's all that matters to both you and your little one.

  4. Gina L says:

    If you move to France take me with you.
    It is a tense time, looking for that perfect spot, but remember there probably is somewhere out there at is even better! And your going to find it.

  5. Gina L says:

    th, I forgot my th and I can't edit my post.
    That is even better!

  6. Kerry says:

    When we left the house I brought my first baby 'home to' … I bawled like a baby myself and thought I wouldn't be able to survive no longer being in that sweet room with it's oh~so~familiar smell. I wandered through the other rooms in the house and went through the 'remember this' and 'remember that'. It felt like I would never be able to move on even though I was returning to my own home town. However, once I shut that door I was surprised to find how quickly I left it behind. Home really is where your heart is … As long as you have Mark and your littlest man Finley, you will be 'home'. All the very best Ali!

  7. Toni says:

    Dearest Alison~
    I really do agree with Mark, although I totally understand your feelings as well. As you know, I'm the momma of 5..space is top priority as much as we can help it! But, even when I was just the momma of 2 I would not even consider a home that didn't have a decent garden for the boys to romp in. It was essential. It was their joy and a life saver for me. Fresh air and sunshine in a safe little spot without having to leave home was as important to me as bread and water!! You may have to give some things up, but you will gain things you don't have now.
    xo,
    Toni

  8. nancourt says:

    Moving is hard, but it opens up so many possibilities. I packed up 23 years worth of memories and moved from my home to one 13 hours away when my daughter went off to college…ten hours away the other direction. Hard? Yes. Scary? Yes. Sad? Yes. But I "made a new life" and after a period of gut-wrenching adjustment, I am happy and content once more. Just go with a happy heart and joyful expectations.

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