Diary of An Ordinary Woman.

By alison October 10, 2007 27 Comments 4 Min Read

Readyel

Wake at seven fifteen with very cold nose. Decide I must be a healthy dog and creep downstairs before Finley wakes up. Set domestic machinery ago-go (washing machine, tumble dryer and kettle) and wander around lighting candles and bringing life to a grey morning. Carry warm milk up to sleepy son and embark on search for bear who has gone AWOL in the night. Talk to Mum, reassure her we  are up, alive and well, then take shower and try to avoid naked reflection in the cracked mirror. Dress in Mummy uniform and skip downstairs to make breakfast. Eat while doing a rather excellent impression of Spider-mans Mum. Insist child brushes his teeth then hurry out to car without library bag. Strap child into shed and run back in for book bag. Drive to school, cursing striking postmen, old men in decrepit cars, Labour politicians and life in general then pin on a smile, avoid the mummy who wants to be my friend and pass the time of day with irrationally happy nursery staff. Get back in car and drive to petrol station. Struggle to remove petrol cap. Ask passing man with moustache and bizarre dicky bow to remove it. Fill car with miniscule amount of petrol and drive to library. Experience short term bliss despite old woman with yucky cough. Resist the urge to hit her or clamp hankie over her mouth. Rent Notes On A Scandal DD and new Elizabeth Berg book.  Agree with bearded librarian that yes the nation is in a state but thank goodness for Marks and Spencer’s and proceed there forthwith. Purchase apple juice and consume. Nip to Woolworth’s and buy Doctor Who Pig for Finn’s stocking. Worry a little bit about Christmas.  Worry quite a lot about leaky boiler, so much so I forget to stop and buy paisley doormat I’ve been coveting and find myself at giant Tesco’s instead.  Recycle plastic bags and buy milk, Method grapefruit surface spray and stupidly cheap Barbie  pink blusher. Realise I’m late for school. Drive back like Schumacher. Find myself accosted by mummy who wants to be my friend and teacher who wants a word. Decline lunch invitation politely and reassure teacher that Finley is an actor par excellence and occasionally just wants a little symphony and yes general air of sadness is just a passing whim. Catch clearly manically happy child disguised as Sherlock Holmes, complete with magnifying glass and small boy pretending to be a dog  and shove hat over his curls. Drive home for snuggle and cup of tea. Try not to breathe in as I enter house for fear of inhaling mouldy carpet fumes after boiler fiasco. Don’t feel at home. Refuse gift of slimy snail. Watch Curious George. Laugh harder than I should. Find friend on doorstop. Wave to her sick babbas in car. Commiserate with her and find nudey child standing behind me. Shuffle back inside and clear out blanket box for Christmas gifts. Put chicken in oven, dress Finn again and walk to Kath’s for pizza party. Watch three demented kids fight over scissors and decorate pizza bases in kami-kase fashion. Drink glass of good red wine, eat tortillas, lay hands on the babba kicking inside Emma’s stomach and discuss previous nights altercation with estranged Father of my child. Agree castration is probably the only answer and experience the joy of mild hysteria in the company of friends. Splash home. Shower son. Read Mr Tickle for 93rd time. Ask him if he’s sad. Feel happy when he says it’s OK Mummy, some days I just miss you and anyway I wanted a cup of tea.  Tickle him. Laugh till we cry. Say goodnight. Phone Dad and insist he comes and removes stinky bathroom carpet.  Quietly despise myself for being so thoroughly dependant on him. Get down on hands and knees and sieve baking powder over offending smelly patch. Find myself faintly ridiculous.  Light candles and air bedroom. Eat chicken with bacon salad. Watch Eastenders and then Jamie Oliver do something ugly to a pigeon. Feel faintly bored. Feel faintly appalled at feeling faintly bored.  Pluck eyebrows. Fill dishwasher. Hang out clean tea towels. Feel cold. Decide upon bed and put the house to sleep. Kiss slumbering son and fall over Lego tower on way out of bedroom. Swear. Giggle. Brush teeth. Snuggle under too many quilts with the exquisitely beautiful pain that is Someone At A Distance. Answer the phone to a friend who tells me our other friend is in hospital with malignant tumours. Weep. Ring Mum. Get up and kiss Finn goodnight all over again. Put socks on cold feet, invent nose warmer and resolve to have it patented. Curl into a ball, hands tucked under my chin. Whisper my thank you’s.  Sleep. Scratch. Sniff.

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27 Comments

  1. lazylol says:

    Alison – your blog just makes my day, i adore it. You are such a great writer, you really need to write a book!

  2. Gill says:

    You're far from ordinary Alison, and your writing is so inspiring, you make my day too. I think you'll find that most people's days go something like yours, we all imagine everyone else is living this exciting life but in reality most of us are just getting through the week as best we can! Keep your chin up, there are lots of us who admire you and the way you live your life.
    Gill x

  3. Melanie says:

    Hope you had a good nights sleep after that exhausting day, keep your chin up Alison, I dont know if you know it, but you brighten up so many womens lives on a daily basis with your wonderful writing and site. Hope the leaky boiler soon gets mended, take care Alison.

  4. Sasha says:

    Wow.
    I read one of your blog entries to my Mum last week while trying to explain the phenomenon that is 'Brocante Home' in a slightly over excited teenager type fashion, and all she could say, while looking at me with a mixture of concern and vague amusement was "That girl needs to write a book". Simple as that. You have the most amazing ability to make the every day and mundane, that we all experience and plough through day by day, sound like something to aspire to. I love your perspective and tone – as do we all here obviously! You describe our lives with exquisite perfection, and hit just the right note of humour and pathos. That is a gift.
    I am so sorry to hear about your friend being ill. My best wishes go to her – and you, for you will need to be strong for her too.
    Treasure your support network – don't resent your dependence on them – they love you, and just imagine if it were you and your little Finlay – would you have it any other way?? Just be sure to show how much you love and appreciate their support (I'm sure you do!). Your chance will come to repay it one day.
    This is just one day – it is not your last, and tomorrow there will be a new one, with new challenges. Maybe you will be bored again – that is your prerogative – don't feel bad. Boredom is healthy – it spurs us on to creative thinking. I was getting dressed today and it suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't actually left the house (and I mean AT ALL) for nearly a week!!! (My daughter is off school unwell). Now THAT is suffocating boredom!!! The highlight of my day today was being ridiculously overdressed (dress, tights, boots, waistcoat, beaded jewellery, padded bra, make-up!!! etc etc) just to do a piddly Tesco shop – woo hoo!! Pathetic huh?? We get our thrills where we can don't we?!
    Keep on keeping on!!!
    LOL xxx

  5. Grace says:

    I totally agree with Sasha's mum and lazylol – you MUST write a book. We'd all buy one for sure.
    What a day! It sounds so familiar – pretending to be a chicken with its head cut off. Here's hoping tomorrow brings you rest, joy and a new boiler!

  6. Grace says:

    I totally agree with Sasha's mum and lazylol – you MUST write a book. We'd all buy one for sure.
    What a day! It sounds so familiar – pretending to be a chicken with its head cut off. Here's hoping tomorrow brings you rest, joy and a new boiler!

  7. Melanie says:

    Totally agree that you should write a book Alison, I would definately buy it. You are a brilliant writer, you have an increible talent, and you are a wonderful person. Your book would sell out in no time, go for it Alison.

  8. Anita says:

    You may not beleive me, but reading this blog is listed as one of my favorite things… And a book written by you would never leave my nightstand… We all adore you, and your writing!

  9. kali says:

    I hope you had a restful night sleep, full of beautiful dreams Ali.
    Keep on keeping on ~ you and your little boy deserve only the best!
    I'm very sorry about the sad news on your friend.
    Sending love ~ Kali xo

  10. Vee says:

    Add me to the chorus singing "you should write a book." It's okay if you don't feel like starting it today. BTW, I adore your blog!

  11. debbie says:

    Yes, yes, yes! Please do write a book! Or at the very least, never stop blogging. You are an inspiration to so many people who also live ordinary lives but lack the talent to write about them.

  12. Tess says:

    Alison,
    I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's malignancy. I had breast cancer and I truly feel for her. I'm praying for you both.
    Tess

  13. Junie Moon says:

    No one can say your life is boring, it's ever so entertaining despite the occasional bumps along the way.

  14. Gayla says:

    Ordinary? Never… not for a second! I loved your day. Oh, how this bit by bit account of a day will be a treasure to read over some day in the future… Have you read OUR TOWN, by Thornton Wilder? Ah… Emily.

  15. phyllis says:

    I hope you enjoyed your day as much as I did!
    I like the ebay search of the day idea and I like to enter strange things like hmmm…'plume'.

  16. phyllis says:

    I hope you enjoyed your day as much as I did!
    I like the ebay search of the day idea and I like to enter strange things like hmmm…'plume'.

  17. Some would make great sacrifices to have such a day. Blessings… Polly

  18. Ali says:

    Sorry to hear about your friend, the boiler and your ex. Well, not sorry for HIM, but for you rather. Been there, done that.
    It gets better chicka. Promise!
    Ali x

  19. Buffy says:

    Thank you for sharing the ups and downs of your day with us.

  20. Lesley says:

    A lovely read as usual, Alison. It gave me a warm, snuggly feeling – which I've been lacking greatly the last four weeks. Thank you. 🙂

  21. Julie says:

    Prayers and hugs for you , your lovely boy and your dear friend!

  22. Julie says:

    Prayers and hugs for you , your lovely boy and your dear friend!

  23. I think you live a very rich life. That is why so many readers visit your blog daily. I'm very sorry about your friend Alison.

  24. marye says:

    I have just stumbled across your site…and I am in love with it! It's is awesome. Keep up the great worrk!

  25. Tina says:

    so sorry to hear about your friend.
    definitely sounds like you had a busy day. always fun to read your blog.
    have a good week.

  26. Tina says:

    so sorry to hear about your friend.
    definitely sounds like you had a busy day. always fun to read your blog.
    have a good week.

  27. Sharon says:

    Great post as ever, Alison. So sorry to hear the news about your friend ~ praying for her, sweetie.
    I agree with everyone who keeps saying you should write a book! Have you thought of self-publishing ~ perhaps with Lulu.com? Anyway, just a thought! http://www.lulu.com/uk/

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