"It is the personality of the mistress that the home expresses. Men are forever guests in our homes, no matter how much happiness they may find there."
Create your own Brocante Life Book, plan Christmas, set up routines and rituals or live life the BrocanteHome way with my guided workbooks and planners.
Twelve Deals Welcome back to my happy little discount-making machine –Â twelve deals, offers and general giftiness once or twice a week between now and Christmas… Today I am offering a one-month trial of Floral Membership of The Vintage Housekeeper’s Circle for…
 So there we were, my Helen and I, getting our babbas ready for bed, while Mum slept and Dad did what Dad’s do best (who knows what?) when there was a knock at the door. Scooping Finley up, I answered the…
One day it was the first of a brand new year and the next we are six days into 2009 and I haven’t had a minute to say hello…. so hello, and oh my how I have missed you while I have…
The still room book is a traditional component of the still rooms found in great houses of yesteryear. Originating in the sixteenth century, the still room was a pharmacy, perfumery and preserving place where salves, lotions, essences, syrups,posies, sweets, balms, pomanders, creams,…
This is the first of three guest posts from Ilinca at Nugget. 10 steps to successfully launch your home-made “products” on-line. I’ve always thought that vintage homemade & handmade products are kind of wonderful. What makes me feel that way? Maybe it’s…
A Muchier May I sometimes think that it takes me until May to really get into the year and that when I do my urge to get further along the journey to my own life less ordinary suddenly feels all the more…
11 Comments
Yes. My husband doesn't even enter some rooms and hasn't noticed half of what is in the house. I will say he has a penchant for pink and purple and so my floral-y displays don't upset him even when placed blatantly on the kitchen table…he had pink toilet paper and kleenex when we started dating.
If you mean that men are the ones we continually clean up after, and complain to when they forever bring home boxes of "stuff" which we have to find homes for (ie "hide"), then yes, men ARE the guests! (And I have FOUR of them!)
I think most of the time it's true…though things are changing. Women still generally run the house and decided on the decorating, etc. etc. Poor, poor men… Terri
Shabbyinthecity mentioned her husband had pink toilet paper and kleenex when they first started dating and I'd say it was probably because it was cheaper! I think for the most part men are happy not to have to decide on the decorating side of things and often just want to make sure their television has a spot in there someplace.
I think this is mostly true — but I also think it is a wise wife/mate who allows her other half to establish some sense of self. My guy has come home with new dishes, does all the grunt work — but admits he can't imagine the schemes I explain. He's willing to put down a good base coat and then let me do whatever I want on top of it. IMO, It's a case of trust (and most men trust us to take care of decorating and the like) — but also I believe it's important for us to understand that the house is their haven too and they shouldn't be a non-entity. Part of what is so important to me as the prime inside decision maker (the lawn, roof and gutters are his domain), is to create a "home" — a comforting and nurturing environment for my husband. That sounds sooo June Cleaverish…
Yes. although my husband does complain and say it's his house as well now and again, but then he doesn't buy anything for it or putter or fiddle. Hell, some days he's not sure where a thing is! But that's only when I've been at work on it.
Hmm. Yay AND nay. I am, without a doubt, the "author" of our home. However, I think that couples have personalities, as do individuals. So I don't have the home now I would have if I were single – our decor is my interpretation of our personality as a couple, as opposed to full-blown Jennicakesville.
hmmm…the only thing i think of about my husband being a guest is i only WISH he felt that way…i'm not that great of a housekeeper or chef…but i do often think how nice it must be to come home to a hot meal nearly every night of the week, and have someone wash all your clothes and purchase everything you need without thinking about it…then again, i think how hard it must be for him to provide all the funding to do that…since i don't contribute financially. seems like the older we get and the longer we're married, the more he doesn't care how i "do the house" just as long as the kiddos are happy and so is he. : ) blessings dear allison, always enjoy stopping by!
I think she hit it right on, because it certainly explains a lot of things – why (generally) men don't really CARE what decor we choose, as long as it's not too feminine in his room(s). That covers both statements Elsie made. I really like coming across this idea of men being "guests" because now, there's reason and direction when it comes to taking care of the home. How do you treat a guest? You want them to be comfortable. You don't insist they work, but you let them if they want to work. You serve them meals, keep their space clean, etc. I can see how seeing him as a guest would make sense. My husband keeps reminding me that he's the one working to pay for everything. (!) Well, a guest does pay for his keep, so that also takes the sting out of that statement from him. Working to please a guest is better than working for a tyrant. Seeing them as guests in our homes is far more pleasant. I certainly agree with the statement that the house reflects the wife's personality. Even if the lady can't afford her taste, that's not to say the house doesn't reflect her personality, because personality is the bare bones to which taste is attached. I think.
I think she hit it right on, because it certainly explains a lot of things – why (generally) men don’t really CARE what decor we choose, as long as it’s not too feminine in his room(s). That covers both statements Elsie made. I really like coming across this idea of men being “guests” because now, there’s reason and direction when it comes to taking care of the home. How do you treat a guest? You want them to be comfortable. You don’t insist they work, but you let them if they want to work. You serve them meals, keep their space clean, etc. I can see how seeing him as a guest would make sense. My husband keeps reminding me that he’s the one working to pay for everything. (!) Well, a guest does pay for his keep, so that also takes the sting out of that statement from him. Working to please a guest is better than working for a tyrant. Seeing them as guests in our homes is far more pleasant. I certainly agree with the statement that the house reflects the wife’s personality. Even if the lady can’t afford her taste, that’s not to say the house doesn’t reflect her personality, because personality is the bare bones to which taste is attached. I think.
{"id":null,"mode":"form","open_style":"in_place","currency_code":"USD","currency_symbol":"$","currency_type":"decimal","blank_flag_url":"https:\/\/brocantehome.net\/wp-content\/plugins\/tip-jar-wp\/\/assets\/images\/flags\/blank.gif","flag_sprite_url":"https:\/\/brocantehome.net\/wp-content\/plugins\/tip-jar-wp\/\/assets\/images\/flags\/flags.png","default_amount":300,"top_media_type":"featured_image","featured_image_url":"http:\/\/brocantehome.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/tipjar-2.png","featured_embed":"","header_media":null,"file_download_attachment_data":null,"recurring_options_enabled":true,"recurring_options":{"never":{"selected":true,"after_output":"One time only"},"weekly":{"selected":false,"after_output":"Every week"},"monthly":{"selected":false,"after_output":"Every month"},"yearly":{"selected":false,"after_output":"Every year"}},"strings":{"current_user_email":"","current_user_name":"","link_text":"Leave a tip","complete_payment_button_error_text":"Check info and try again","payment_verb":"Pay","payment_request_label":"BrocanteHome","form_has_an_error":"Please check and fix the errors above","general_server_error":"Something isn't working right at the moment. Please try again.","form_title":"BrocanteHome","form_subtitle":"Help Me to Keep BrocanteHome Online","currency_search_text":"Country or Currency here","other_payment_option":"Other payment option","manage_payments_button_text":"Manage your payments","thank_you_message":"Thank you so much: helping me keep Brocantehome online really means the world to me.","payment_confirmation_title":"BrocanteHome","receipt_title":"Your Receipt","print_receipt":"Print Receipt","email_receipt":"Email Receipt","email_receipt_sending":"Sending receipt...","email_receipt_success":"Email receipt successfully sent","email_receipt_failed":"Email receipt failed to send. Please try again.","receipt_payee":"Paid to","receipt_statement_descriptor":"This will show up on your statement as","receipt_date":"Date","receipt_transaction_id":"Transaction ID","receipt_transaction_amount":"Amount","refund_payer":"Refund from","login":"Log in to manage your payments","manage_payments":"Manage Payments","transactions_title":"Your Transactions","transaction_title":"Transaction Receipt","transaction_period":"Plan Period","arrangements_title":"Your Plans","arrangement_title":"Manage Plan","arrangement_details":"Plan Details","arrangement_id_title":"Plan ID","arrangement_payment_method_title":"Payment Method","arrangement_amount_title":"Plan Amount","arrangement_renewal_title":"Next renewal date","arrangement_action_cancel":"Cancel Plan","arrangement_action_cant_cancel":"Cancelling is currently not available.","arrangement_action_cancel_double":"Are you sure you'd like to cancel?","arrangement_cancelling":"Cancelling Plan...","arrangement_cancelled":"Plan Cancelled","arrangement_failed_to_cancel":"Failed to cancel plan","back_to_plans":"\u2190 Back to Plans","update_payment_method_verb":"Update","sca_auth_description":"Your have a pending renewal payment which requires authorization.","sca_auth_verb":"Authorize renewal payment","sca_authing_verb":"Authorizing payment","sca_authed_verb":"Payment successfully authorized!","sca_auth_failed":"Unable to authorize! Please try again.","login_button_text":"Log in","login_form_has_an_error":"Please check and fix the errors above","uppercase_search":"Search","lowercase_search":"search","uppercase_page":"Page","lowercase_page":"page","uppercase_items":"Items","lowercase_items":"items","uppercase_per":"Per","lowercase_per":"per","uppercase_of":"Of","lowercase_of":"of","back":"Back to plans","zip_code_placeholder":"Zip\/Postal Code","download_file_button_text":"Download File","input_field_instructions":{"tip_amount":{"placeholder_text":"How much would you like to tip?","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"How much would you like to tip? Choose any currency."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"How much would you like to tip? Choose any currency."},"invalid_curency":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Please choose a valid currency."}},"recurring":{"placeholder_text":"Recurring","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"How often would you like to give this?"},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"How often would you like to give this?"},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"How often would you like to give this?"}},"name":{"placeholder_text":"Name on Credit Card","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter the name on your card."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Enter the name on your card."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Please enter the name on your card."}},"privacy_policy":{"terms_title":"Terms and conditions","terms_body":null,"terms_show_text":"View Terms","terms_hide_text":"Hide Terms","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"I agree to the terms."},"unchecked":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Please agree to the terms."},"checked":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"I agree to the terms."}},"email":{"placeholder_text":"Your email address","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your email address"},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Enter your email address"},"blank":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your email address"},"not_an_email_address":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Make sure you have entered a valid email address"}},"note_with_tip":{"placeholder_text":"Your note here...","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Attach a note to your tip (optional)"},"empty":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Attach a note to your tip (optional)"},"not_empty_initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Attach a note to your tip (optional)"},"saving":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Saving note..."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Note successfully saved!"},"error":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Unable to save note note at this time. Please try again."}},"email_for_login_code":{"placeholder_text":"Your email address","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."},"blank":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."}},"login_code":{"initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."},"blank":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."}},"stripe_all_in_one":{"initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your credit card details here."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your credit card details here."},"success":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your credit card details here."},"invalid_number":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card number is not a valid credit card number."},"invalid_expiry_month":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration month is invalid."},"invalid_expiry_year":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration year is invalid."},"invalid_cvc":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's security code is invalid."},"incorrect_number":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card number is incorrect."},"incomplete_number":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card number is incomplete."},"incomplete_cvc":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's security code is incomplete."},"incomplete_expiry":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration date is incomplete."},"incomplete_zip":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's zip code is incomplete."},"expired_card":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card has expired."},"incorrect_cvc":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's security code is incorrect."},"incorrect_zip":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's zip code failed validation."},"invalid_expiry_year_past":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration year is in the past"},"card_declined":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card was declined."},"missing":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"There is no card on a customer that is being charged."},"processing_error":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"An error occurred while processing the card."},"invalid_request_error":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Unable to process this payment, please try again or use alternative method."},"invalid_sofort_country":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The billing country is not accepted by SOFORT. Please try another country."}}}},"fetched_oembed_html":false}
Yes. My husband doesn't even enter some rooms and hasn't noticed half of what is in the house. I will say he has a penchant for pink and purple and so my floral-y displays don't upset him even when placed blatantly on the kitchen table…he had pink toilet paper and kleenex when we started dating.
If you mean that men are the ones we continually clean up after, and complain to when they forever bring home boxes of "stuff" which we have to find homes for (ie "hide"), then yes, men ARE the guests! (And I have FOUR of them!)
I think most of the time it's true…though things are changing. Women still generally run the house and decided on the decorating, etc. etc. Poor, poor men…
Terri
Shabbyinthecity mentioned her husband had pink toilet paper and kleenex when they first started dating and I'd say it was probably because it was cheaper! I think for the most part men are happy not to have to decide on the decorating side of things and often just want to make sure their television has a spot in there someplace.
I'd say it's true unless you're living with a rare and hard to find renaissance man.
I think this is mostly true — but I also think it is a wise wife/mate who allows her other half to establish some sense of self. My guy has come home with new dishes, does all the grunt work — but admits he can't imagine the schemes I explain. He's willing to put down a good base coat and then let me do whatever I want on top of it.
IMO, It's a case of trust (and most men trust us to take care of decorating and the like) — but also I believe it's important for us to understand that the house is their haven too and they shouldn't be a non-entity. Part of what is so important to me as the prime inside decision maker (the lawn, roof and gutters are his domain), is to create a "home" — a comforting and nurturing environment for my husband. That sounds sooo June Cleaverish…
Yes. although my husband does complain and say it's his house as well now and again, but then he doesn't buy anything for it or putter or fiddle. Hell, some days he's not sure where a thing is! But that's only when I've been at work on it.
Hmm. Yay AND nay. I am, without a doubt, the "author" of our home. However, I think that couples have personalities, as do individuals. So I don't have the home now I would have if I were single – our decor is my interpretation of our personality as a couple, as opposed to full-blown Jennicakesville.
hmmm…the only thing i think of about my husband being a guest is i only WISH he felt that way…i'm not that great of a housekeeper or chef…but i do often think how nice it must be to come home to a hot meal nearly every night of the week, and have someone wash all your clothes and purchase everything you need without thinking about it…then again, i think how hard it must be for him to provide all the funding to do that…since i don't contribute financially. seems like the older we get and the longer we're married, the more he doesn't care how i "do the house" just as long as the kiddos are happy and so is he. : ) blessings dear allison, always enjoy stopping by!
I think she hit it right on, because it certainly explains a lot of things – why (generally) men don't really CARE what decor we choose, as long as it's not too feminine in his room(s). That covers both statements Elsie made.
I really like coming across this idea of men being "guests" because now, there's reason and direction when it comes to taking care of the home. How do you treat a guest? You want them to be comfortable. You don't insist they work, but you let them if they want to work. You serve them meals, keep their space clean, etc. I can see how seeing him as a guest would make sense.
My husband keeps reminding me that he's the one working to pay for everything. (!) Well, a guest does pay for his keep, so that also takes the sting out of that statement from him. Working to please a guest is better than working for a tyrant. Seeing them as guests in our homes is far more pleasant.
I certainly agree with the statement that the house reflects the wife's personality. Even if the lady can't afford her taste, that's not to say the house doesn't reflect her personality, because personality is the bare bones to which taste is attached. I think.
I think she hit it right on, because it certainly explains a lot of things – why (generally) men don’t really CARE what decor we choose, as long as it’s not too feminine in his room(s). That covers both statements Elsie made.
I really like coming across this idea of men being “guests” because now, there’s reason and direction when it comes to taking care of the home. How do you treat a guest? You want them to be comfortable. You don’t insist they work, but you let them if they want to work. You serve them meals, keep their space clean, etc. I can see how seeing him as a guest would make sense.
My husband keeps reminding me that he’s the one working to pay for everything. (!) Well, a guest does pay for his keep, so that also takes the sting out of that statement from him. Working to please a guest is better than working for a tyrant. Seeing them as guests in our homes is far more pleasant.
I certainly agree with the statement that the house reflects the wife’s personality. Even if the lady can’t afford her taste, that’s not to say the house doesn’t reflect her personality, because personality is the bare bones to which taste is attached. I think.