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  1. I have so got to agree with you about this – I have been asked before to comment on Darla's book – probably because of my blog's name – but I'm not sure I want to be dragged into this rather self-defeating argument. Like you, I put my children first and my feet firmly on either side of the fence.
    I do find it depressing though when we are pitched against each other so defiantly, so entrenched in our thinking. Our mothers and grandmothers battled for choice – that is the legacy we have been left with and it seems the best way to honour that and our 'femaleness' (I'm not talking about 'femininity' here) is actually to support each other and our individual choices. The 'new' fashionable cult of aspirational domesticity certainly has a lot to answer for, in terms of making some of us feel even more inadequate than we did before… however, maybe, just maybe, the new cultural focus on hearth and home is a reflection of our societal need to re-anchor ourselves and our children to a firmer base, in a world of disposable consumerism where nothing is clearly defined anymore, and most of the social and moral signposts have been eradicated.
    I often muse about this on my blog – the name of which, by the way, is meant to be taken with a hefty dose of irony… I am a stay-at-home mum who just happens to have a diploma in European Cultural Studies as well as an Oxford University degree in English Literature. I am torn across both sides of the divide – I am incensed by my apparent invisibility in the world at large, frustrated by my insignificance in the greater scheme of things, but determined to cook dinner for my family every night without the aid of a microwave…

  2. I know exactly what you mean, as an educated woman who has just returned to work part time for the first time since my oldest daughter was born 8 years ago, I am torn everyday by wanting to be at home and wanting to be at work. Fortunately for me, my work day ends at noon and I get to go home to my lovely little abode and be there for my girls. However, I get funny looks from my co-workers in the corporate world when I say I want to work part time to be available for my kids (they still don't understand when I call up and say, sorry, can't come in today, I'm off to the zoo with the second grade!) and I get funny looks from my SAHM friends who wonder why in god's name I'd ever choose to go back to work, if only for a few hours a day. So, if anyone knows what it's like to sit on the fence, it's me. But sit there I'll stay. So shoot me…

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