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  1. yes, have been through the dog thing, we actually 'led' by a dog lead, my bestfriends daughter into a upmarket waterfront cafe on a Friday night at 5pm, ordered her a bowl of water and then 'led' her on all fours through the cafe to go toilet . . . hmmmmmmmm. How's your luck, if it wasn't bad enough the ex arrives. Poor you:)

  2. Such a delightful post and I can even be glad that you were cursed by a magpie so that you had such fun material to share. Hope that you get your little boy back; the chicken carcass back in the trash; and that whatever you truly want may be yours. Oh, dig out your shoes!

  3. Very entertaining rant! As frustrating as a dog-child may be, just think of the time and energy now saved in entertaining him. A couple of outings to the dog park and perhaps a nice shoe to chew on – you’ll have hours to yourself!

  4. Perhaps on your next amble you should bring a shiney offering for your magpie tormentor? I have found a bit of Christmas tinsel goes a long way towards neighborhood harmony. As for rolerblading GangGans? I can not imagine.

  5. I too have a dog-child. Perhaps they are from the same litter! ‘Fetch’ works well for a couple of minutes peace!
    What fun it is to read your words …

  6. Oh you do make me laugh out loud! Not AT you of course, but WITH your highly developed sense of irony and humour!
    My daughter too went through a ‘dog’ phase, at her Grandmother’s house only though, luckily for me (scarey how many of us are saying we too went through this…..). She took to putting a very disgruntled Westie out of his own bed so she could curl up in it (albeit rather squashed!) asking Nanny if she could try some dog food (and – horror – my mother in law LET HER!!!) and chewing on a dog biscuit… trust me, after the dog food and biscuit, this phase didn’t last long!
    Top tip – after too many similar incidents like yours with the bin bags (and it’s ALWAYS when you have the most minging stuff in it too isn’t it??), I now ‘double line’ the bin bag by putting a carrier bag in at the bottom too. No more bottom falling out on way outside, and it (sort of) makes use of all those carrier bags that you still seem to end up with even when you take along your ever so chic floral shoppers….
    As for the ex, smile inside that you graciously allowed him to feel better about himself for a whole 5 mins. He has to feel like a heel the rest of the time after all, poor sod…(ha ha) xx

  7. Oh I love that little boy! he is so funny! roller skating Grandad? he sounds as much fun as our local aged Elvis, I jest not I have stood behind him in his white diamonte suit at the fruit shop, he is 70 if he is a day!

  8. Too bad Finn didn't want to be a cat. Cats just want to be snooty and sleep all day!
    That said, you know you are of a healthy mind if you can laugh at yourself. Thanks for a post that brightened my morning.
    Anna Marie

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