Say’s the lovely India Knight:
"A generation of children have grown up believing that buying expensive stuff is how you show people love and that it is their right to have the stuff they want.
This isn’t healthy, either emotionally or financially.
I think a better way of showing children love is by sitting down over
That has become extinct."
Hear hear India!
The Brocante Round-Up! 
The Brocante Round-Up! 
The Autumn House 
Hurrah for the wonderful India Knight! I am rebelling against Easter for children this year. No horrible big commerical eggs for my nieces and nephews. Instead, handknitted chicks concealing a small creme egg or similar, with little ribbon bonnets. I love India's 'The Shops'…pure bliss.
I hate that saying more than anything. Sorens grandparents drilled that into us around our wedding time because we asked them for 2k for the wedding when my generous parents gave up 10k. They ended up backing out on a promise a week before our wedding, leaving us in debt for years. They justified it by saying we bought to expensive of cats and to expensive of a car. Now, mind you we made about $40k income and lived with all hand me downs as far as furniture and even old blankets. They just had to pass judgement somewhere!
I really hate judgement on other peoples finances. No, it's not good to spoil your children to death but if streaching the budget one month means happiness in the form of shoes or electronics or toys, get it! I'd honestly rather live in a rental for years to come and be able to afford nice things instead of skimp and save with no material happiness. Truth is, things make people happy, at least temporarily. If we didn't have things we'd all be minimalist monks or the world would have reached nirvana ages ago.
My internal need for "things" comes from my want of beauty every where around me. I can now sit here and truely enjoy my things though I'm sure some would think I am still not living with in my means. I think it has helped me and Soren strive for more and our income has trippled in the five years we've been together.
Sorry for the random rant but I just HATE that saying.
I think that sometimes the need to buy things is an emotional response to the feeling that something is missing.We think that if the gap is filled then we will be happy.For a while that works until another gap opens.We really need to find out what will make us truly happy and then the things we buy have more value in their own right.I am no angel and do sucuum to retail therapy once in a while!I have tried to instill a sense of value in my girls.We try to make them decide whether what they want is worth it both from a monetary point of view but also as an item itself.Given the chance they usually make very sensible choices like last year Lily's list to Santa said'..I can't think of anything I need except a pair of slippers and a new dressing gown.A few suprises would be nice..'Guess what?She got a few!!
I really do think we need to start being happy with what we have, rather than thinking more things will make us happy.
Once we get into the mindset of being grateful for what we've got, and not holding onto excess 'stuff' just because we can't bearto get rid of it, then it opens the way for the things we really want.
Problem is we live in a society of want and must have instantly, right now. We are bringing up a generation of 'me, me, me'.
I think waiting for something gives you more appreciation of it anyway…
Just my opinion 🙂
my favourite words: ‘to be happy, want what you have’
Would this be the same India Knight who wrote the (i assume, because it was plastered around Waterstones) bestselling book 'The Shops', all about the fabulously expensive shops she likes to patronise, and how you ought to patronise them also? I have to admit, I love the sentiment; of course material objects aren't important when compared with love, but I'm rather dubious about well-off people telling those who are less well-off than themselves to be content with their lot.
Sorry about the negative comment though. I enjoy your blog, and don't know why my first comment is rather negative.
One thing that I have learned in my (almost 50 years of) life is that it is perfectly possible to love nice things, really enjoy them, but not be materialistic. Sounds odd? Not really – what could be nicer than to find a really pretty little jug for 50p at a charity shop, take it home and clean it up, then pop some flowers in it? You can sit and sip your hibiscus tea, and admire your good taste and canny bargaining skills!! What I will not buy into is the idea that someone else (usually a marketing executive) decides what I will want and what I will buy. That way lies debt and disatisfaction -how can anyone else say what should float your boat? Of course, it is great to share lovely ideas with friends (which is basically what we are doing here) but that is quite different. Fortunately, my 20-something daughter agrees with me. She has real artistic and design flair, so can usually make something gorgeous out of nothing. Perhaps India Knight is finally beginning to get the right idea?
I agree whole heartedly with everyone, things don’t equate happiness. People need to realize their own balance between monitary and emotional happiness. I think the judgement should never be used on another person.
There is something called needs, and also something called quality of life which I hold dearly.
I know alot of the ladies here are older then me. You all probably own furniture, books, appliances, even houses and the things that go with it. “Things” aren’t really needed, so you might want less.
I’m just starting out with little. What I buy is quality along side being a nessesity. To my husbands grandparents they can’t understand why someone needs a $2000 bed. When it comes down to it, there is a difference. The bed isn’t going to break. We will probably have it for 30+ years and the beauty makes us happy to come into our room. Does that mean I can’t find something cheaper and be just as happy? No, but I still haven’t found anything that equals it out there.
Life is a balance. If some “thing” makes you happy, don’t be ashamed of it! I have to say my doll collection, my childrens book collection, my vintage knitting book collection and my “expensive cats” make my life rich and full everyday. I always have something to look at and inspire me. The time I felt little inspiration was when it was all packed away when moving. I felt very little like myself.
I have never gone in debt because of my collections so virtually I am living “with in my means”. The only debt I went into was with his grandparents makeing a very unloving judegement call on our spending.
It goes along the lines of more middle class or poor people scofting at rich people saying they probably aren’t happy. Well, I know some rich people who are as happy as the next person! Because you spend money and like nice things doesn’t mean your souless. Just because your thrifty means your wise and are happy with what you have.
One good example is my husbands mother. They lived off an income of minimum wage all through his and his brothers child hood. There is no way they could live with in their means with that little money. His mother was very wise about spending but still went into 50k of debt over their childhoods. She never stressed about it. She never put blame on anyone. She also never deprived her children of food, shelter or some toys. If she lived with in her means she would have probably have lived in squallor. (sp?)
well.. thats the end of this rant.
I agree whole heartedly with everyone, things don’t equate happiness. People need to realize their own balance between monitary and emotional happiness. I think the judgement should never be used on another person.
There is something called needs, and also something called quality of life which I hold dearly.
I know alot of the ladies here are older then me. You all probably own furniture, books, appliances, even houses and the things that go with it. “Things” aren’t really needed, so you might want less.
I’m just starting out with little. What I buy is quality along side being a nessesity. To my husbands grandparents they can’t understand why someone needs a $2000 bed. When it comes down to it, there is a difference. The bed isn’t going to break. We will probably have it for 30+ years and the beauty makes us happy to come into our room. Does that mean I can’t find something cheaper and be just as happy? No, but I still haven’t found anything that equals it out there.
Life is a balance. If some “thing” makes you happy, don’t be ashamed of it! I have to say my doll collection, my childrens book collection, my vintage knitting book collection and my “expensive cats” make my life rich and full everyday. I always have something to look at and inspire me. The time I felt little inspiration was when it was all packed away when moving. I felt very little like myself.
I have never gone in debt because of my collections so virtually I am living “with in my means”. The only debt I went into was with his grandparents makeing a very unloving judegement call on our spending.
It goes along the lines of more middle class or poor people scofting at rich people saying they probably aren’t happy. Well, I know some rich people who are as happy as the next person! Because you spend money and like nice things doesn’t mean your souless. Just because your thrifty means your wise and are happy with what you have.
One good example is my husbands mother. They lived off an income of minimum wage all through his and his brothers child hood. There is no way they could live with in their means with that little money. His mother was very wise about spending but still went into 50k of debt over their childhoods. She never stressed about it. She never put blame on anyone. She also never deprived her children of food, shelter or some toys. If she lived with in her means she would have probably have lived in squallor. (sp?)
well.. thats the end of this rant.