Lock Me Up: No.2.

By Alison November 3, 2005 5 Comments 1 Min Read


Wondering what it is? Read on.

You see Housekeepers, I have committed a crime against the man I haven’t got around to marrying yet and he is not a happy sausage.

He is perfectly happy for me to spend all his money,  conduct a torrent affair with the seventy five year old milkman , and be rude to his mother, but oh God forbid I should wash the tin opener too often.

Yes, you read that right.  I WASH THE TIN OPENER TOO OFTEN. Apparently my obsession with housekeeping has gone to far and if things carry on the way they are and he finds the tin opener in the dishwasher one more time, well who knows what he will do…

I am in fear of my life and that of my precious flowery plates.

Isn’t it a scandal? I mean you knew I was bad (I serve stinky food remember?), but I bet you never realised I went this far on a daily basis. So let’s puzzle this one out. Is this tin opener made of gold? No. Did it cost a fortune. No. (I bought it in the pound shop seven years ago). Is its going rusty through my compulsive urge to wash it? No. (It is in relatively good nick, considering it is ancient). So what then?

Readers, let me enlighten you: Mark is a tired man. He has a stressful job (Did I mention he was running the country?) and HE JUST HASN’T GOT TIME TO GO ROOTING IN THE DISHWASHER FOR SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE IN THE DRAWER!!

So now you know: A man can live with a woman with body odour or bad breath, but God forbid she should wash the tin opener too often.


  1. Carol says:

    PMSL!Your Mark must be really stressed! 😉

  2. ms*robyn says:

    buy two ! heck no – fill his Christmas stocking with them –

  3. Maureen says:

    Oh Alison….you are such a crack-up….I love it !!!! You go girlfriend !!! Posting it on the blog should fix any further problems…lolol

  4. Savannah says:

    Get another!

  5. MrsGaylynn says:

    I just figured out who you remind me of-Shirley Valentine!! It all came to me in this post. She is standing in the kitchen cooking eggs and fries, (she calls the fries something different?)after feeding the weekly, ritualistic steak to the neighbor's dog…And she already knows how her husband will react…LOL I fell in love with her and this movie from the get-go…As I have you and your blog!! Kindred spirits I'd say! Although she had a habit of talking to the "wall", whereas you talk us…Thanks for a laugh!

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