To all those who have more experience than me: tell me this and tell me no more, how on earth do you manage your husbands?
I have all but stopped asking Mark to help around the house: not because he isn’t (grudgingly) willing, but because laziness makes him utterly hopeless. So he will put the dishes in the dishwasher, but in an effort to save electricity, not turn it on. Or he will tidy the entire kitchen, but never dream of wiping down the surfaces. He tell’s me, in the occasional fit of pique, that he is too tired to bath the baby (one of his few allocated tasks) or that he will empty the bin "when he’s ready". Next week then??
Now don’t get me wrong: he is as lovely as can be, but the fact remains that he is a man brought up by another, who still to this day believes women should be seen and not heard. A man who doesn’t own a vacuum cleaner and wouldn’t know what to do with it if he did. His father.
Every relationship is a battlefield. Every conversation a lesson in the subtle art of negotiation. We laugh. We fight. We make up and we have the same old fights all over again. I get irratated because I don’t get enough time to work on
So the title of this
Lord, when was my life reduced to this ??
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I remember telling my husband one time that I got more excited by what he did for me around the house…chorewise…than if he gave me a big hug. He didn't get it. I think part of it is temperaments. We need different things from one another but aren't always keyed into what those things are. If we want it for ourselves, we figure the other person does too. My husband is very affectionate, and assumes that that's the way to get to me. Not always so.
You make sense to me, sister!
There is no managing them — they are that way for a reason, I'm sure, but I can't for the life of me figure out what it is. My husband sometimes offers to "help" — therein lies the rub. Don't assist me, do it yourself! If he does try to do it himself, then there's all kinds of whining about "how?" or it winds up not being done to my satisfaction. Usually, the offer of this "help" comes when I'm just about done, thanks, maybe next time, but next time he's off mowing the lawn or doing other "man's" work. I prefer to keep him busy with his own stuff and out of my hair. Love him, though he tries my patience (and I his).