Do excuse me while I do the giddy mummy, yey he’s back at school dance won’t you? The house has barely survived the onslaught of another half term holiday and my little monkey is on the final leg of his very first year in big school, iced water bottle in hand and worry on his mind. When you are five the world is stuffed full of worries. There is the “What does God look like?” worry, because if nobody knows what he looks like, then he could be anybody, he could even be sitting on the train next to you and speaking of public transport, there is the “Who’s driving his boat?” worry, which could quite frankly threaten the fun of a sail up and down the Chester waterfront, if said five year old refuses to step on the boat until the driver is in clear view. Then there is the “Pink icing” problem, because if Mummy squashes strawberries into icing sugar and dabs the whole lot on the top of a gluten free cake and the result is a girly muffin, then who knows what kind of shenanigans will occur in the lunch room, and yes, speaking of the lunchroom, how in the name of biscuits, will he survive his first school packed lunch in a few months? Will he be allowed to eat lunch with everyone else even though he’s got a funny leg or will he have to sit by himself in the classroom and Mummy when the school goes to Chester zoo, what on earth should he do, because there is a whole lot of walking involved in looking at tigers and he can’t walk so he will have to be pushed, which brings us neatly to the “Buggy or wheelchair?” debate, because if he sit’s in a buggy, the kids will think he is a baby, and he’s NOT A BABY, and if he sit’s in a wheelchair, the kids will think he’s sick and he’s NOT SICK , so maybe he could just sit down and rest every five minutes or maybe have a little lie down after he’s been in the batroom but oh no, he can’t go in the batroom, because last time he went in there he did himself a damage with a big stick because it was very dark and he doesn’t like strange dark, only his own dark and he definitely doesn’t like having his photograph taken with strange Aunties from Ireland, so tell Daddy to never make him do that again or he will cry and cry and only a lolly ice will make him better, but lolly ices might have gluten in and grown ups can’t be trusted to choose the right ones and oh no I dont want a new bedroom, and I don’t want Daddy to change his car because I like my room and Daddies clapped out old shed on wheels is lovely and I don’t want anything to change ever, ever, ever, so If I tell you my foot hurts, I want you to pretend you didn’t hear me, because then you might take me back to the hospital, and I’ll have to have another cast, and I like my leg as it is even though it is oddly hairy since the last cast came off, but could you ask the Doctor for something to fix my foot, but, you know DON’T MAKE A FUSS MUMMY… And on and on the onslaught goes… And I’m doing as I’m told, trying not to make a fuss, but he can’t walk for longer than five minutes, walking now involving a limp, a hop, a skip and a jump as he tries to avoid bearing any weight at all while he tries and fails to play football or run with the other kids. It’s heartbreaking, but short of keeping him permanently in a cast which may cause it’s own problems, there is no solution until the necessary bone spontaneously reforms (as it does in 98% of cases) and so it really is a matter of pushing him around in a buggy, while avoiding the eye of frowning old ladies who believe I’ve got an over-sized lazy baby on my hands… It’s quite the most awful thing not to be able to solve a problem for your babba. I can lead him to the man sailing the boat, and tell him to think up the most wonderful person he can possibly imagine and call him God (because if there is a god, he looks like Russel Brand in my warped head). I can compromise on the grand plans I’d made for his bedroom so I do not shatter his sense of security in a fit of decorating mayhem and I can swap the (absolutely scrumptious) strawberry topped cake for a more acceptable banana muffin. I can intervene in mad Irish Auntie photo sessions and monitor the gluten content of everything form lolly-ices to the glue on the back of postage stamps… but I can’t perform a little miracle. I can’t wish a bone back. And you know what? I really thought I could. I thought miracle working came with Mommy territory. But it doesn’t. Oh what tiny cruelties we must endure…
Create your own Brocante Life Book, plan Christmas, set up routines and rituals or live life the BrocanteHome way with my guided workbooks and planners.
Keep your eyes peeled for a new range of stationery and journals from Cath in the spring… In conjunction with Chronicle books, the items listed for pre-order on Amazon so far include… The Dream Home Journal. The Cath Kidston Mending Kit. Cath…
Today after escaping the usual morning calamities of the forgotten lunchbox kind, I shrugged my sun burnt shoulders into a halterneck cheesecloth dress and hopped into the car to visit Ouissi. The sun was shining, I was listening to the “Uncommon Reader”…
You know I’m all about my miracle morning right? And that I have been obsessing over it (and harassing you about it!) ever since I happened upon Hal Elrod’s inspirational book? I have in fact been obsessing, not just over MY routine,…
Dear me, I seem to be having one of those can’t get anything done days. Does it happen to you? Your brain flits all over the place and you manage to achieve exactly nothing and take a helluva time to achieve it?…
"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My favorite is hitting my head on the top bunk until I faint." Other Things To Do At BrocanteHome Browse the Bookstore Discover a curated list of books to enhance and support life the BrocanteHome…
Just a little something before I crawl under my hydrangea sprinkled duvet: the latest issue of Lonny features intimate articles with both Cath Kidston and Rachel Ashwell and makes quite the most scrumptious of bedtime reading for Brocante girls across the land……
{"id":null,"mode":"form","open_style":"in_place","currency_code":"USD","currency_symbol":"$","currency_type":"decimal","blank_flag_url":"https:\/\/brocantehome.net\/wp-content\/plugins\/tip-jar-wp\/\/assets\/images\/flags\/blank.gif","flag_sprite_url":"https:\/\/brocantehome.net\/wp-content\/plugins\/tip-jar-wp\/\/assets\/images\/flags\/flags.png","default_amount":300,"top_media_type":"featured_image","featured_image_url":"http:\/\/brocantehome.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/tipjar-2.png","featured_embed":"","header_media":null,"file_download_attachment_data":null,"recurring_options_enabled":true,"recurring_options":{"never":{"selected":true,"after_output":"One time only"},"weekly":{"selected":false,"after_output":"Every week"},"monthly":{"selected":false,"after_output":"Every month"},"yearly":{"selected":false,"after_output":"Every year"}},"strings":{"current_user_email":"","current_user_name":"","link_text":"Leave a tip","complete_payment_button_error_text":"Check info and try again","payment_verb":"Pay","payment_request_label":"BrocanteHome","form_has_an_error":"Please check and fix the errors above","general_server_error":"Something isn't working right at the moment. Please try again.","form_title":"BrocanteHome","form_subtitle":"Help Me to Keep BrocanteHome Online","currency_search_text":"Country or Currency here","other_payment_option":"Other payment option","manage_payments_button_text":"Manage your payments","thank_you_message":"Thank you so much: helping me keep Brocantehome online really means the world to me.","payment_confirmation_title":"BrocanteHome","receipt_title":"Your Receipt","print_receipt":"Print Receipt","email_receipt":"Email Receipt","email_receipt_sending":"Sending receipt...","email_receipt_success":"Email receipt successfully sent","email_receipt_failed":"Email receipt failed to send. Please try again.","receipt_payee":"Paid to","receipt_statement_descriptor":"This will show up on your statement as","receipt_date":"Date","receipt_transaction_id":"Transaction ID","receipt_transaction_amount":"Amount","refund_payer":"Refund from","login":"Log in to manage your payments","manage_payments":"Manage Payments","transactions_title":"Your Transactions","transaction_title":"Transaction Receipt","transaction_period":"Plan Period","arrangements_title":"Your Plans","arrangement_title":"Manage Plan","arrangement_details":"Plan Details","arrangement_id_title":"Plan ID","arrangement_payment_method_title":"Payment Method","arrangement_amount_title":"Plan Amount","arrangement_renewal_title":"Next renewal date","arrangement_action_cancel":"Cancel Plan","arrangement_action_cant_cancel":"Cancelling is currently not available.","arrangement_action_cancel_double":"Are you sure you'd like to cancel?","arrangement_cancelling":"Cancelling Plan...","arrangement_cancelled":"Plan Cancelled","arrangement_failed_to_cancel":"Failed to cancel plan","back_to_plans":"\u2190 Back to Plans","update_payment_method_verb":"Update","sca_auth_description":"Your have a pending renewal payment which requires authorization.","sca_auth_verb":"Authorize renewal payment","sca_authing_verb":"Authorizing payment","sca_authed_verb":"Payment successfully authorized!","sca_auth_failed":"Unable to authorize! Please try again.","login_button_text":"Log in","login_form_has_an_error":"Please check and fix the errors above","uppercase_search":"Search","lowercase_search":"search","uppercase_page":"Page","lowercase_page":"page","uppercase_items":"Items","lowercase_items":"items","uppercase_per":"Per","lowercase_per":"per","uppercase_of":"Of","lowercase_of":"of","back":"Back to plans","zip_code_placeholder":"Zip\/Postal Code","download_file_button_text":"Download File","input_field_instructions":{"tip_amount":{"placeholder_text":"How much would you like to tip?","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"How much would you like to tip? Choose any currency."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"How much would you like to tip? Choose any currency."},"invalid_curency":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Please choose a valid currency."}},"recurring":{"placeholder_text":"Recurring","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"How often would you like to give this?"},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"How often would you like to give this?"},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"How often would you like to give this?"}},"name":{"placeholder_text":"Name on Credit Card","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter the name on your card."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Enter the name on your card."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Please enter the name on your card."}},"privacy_policy":{"terms_title":"Terms and conditions","terms_body":null,"terms_show_text":"View Terms","terms_hide_text":"Hide Terms","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"I agree to the terms."},"unchecked":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Please agree to the terms."},"checked":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"I agree to the terms."}},"email":{"placeholder_text":"Your email address","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your email address"},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Enter your email address"},"blank":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your email address"},"not_an_email_address":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Make sure you have entered a valid email address"}},"note_with_tip":{"placeholder_text":"Your note here...","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Attach a note to your tip (optional)"},"empty":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Attach a note to your tip (optional)"},"not_empty_initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Attach a note to your tip (optional)"},"saving":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Saving note..."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Note successfully saved!"},"error":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Unable to save note note at this time. Please try again."}},"email_for_login_code":{"placeholder_text":"Your email address","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."},"blank":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."}},"login_code":{"initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."},"blank":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."}},"stripe_all_in_one":{"initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your credit card details here."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your credit card details here."},"success":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your credit card details here."},"invalid_number":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card number is not a valid credit card number."},"invalid_expiry_month":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration month is invalid."},"invalid_expiry_year":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration year is invalid."},"invalid_cvc":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's security code is invalid."},"incorrect_number":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card number is incorrect."},"incomplete_number":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card number is incomplete."},"incomplete_cvc":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's security code is incomplete."},"incomplete_expiry":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration date is incomplete."},"incomplete_zip":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's zip code is incomplete."},"expired_card":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card has expired."},"incorrect_cvc":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's security code is incorrect."},"incorrect_zip":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's zip code failed validation."},"invalid_expiry_year_past":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration year is in the past"},"card_declined":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card was declined."},"missing":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"There is no card on a customer that is being charged."},"processing_error":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"An error occurred while processing the card."},"invalid_request_error":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Unable to process this payment, please try again or use alternative method."},"invalid_sofort_country":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The billing country is not accepted by SOFORT. Please try another country."}}}},"fetched_oembed_html":false}