There is a cold lurking in my throat. But that’s ok because today there is fire lurking in my belly. For this I know for sure: on the other side of death there is a fierce need to live. To be alive with every ounce of one’s being and to stuff each day with as much life as is humanly possible…
I read somewhere that to keep on doing the same thing and expect at every turn a different outcome is probably the first sign of madness. Darlings I have been doing the same thing for eleven years! I have lived in this teeny little house for fifteen years! I haven’t changed my brand of butter (Clover) or teabags (Tetleys) or toothpaste (Colgate) in twenty years (though why I should consider this significant I just can’t imagine)! I have lived small. And I have done it quite deliberately in order to feel safe. Tis a dangerous business changing your teabags don’t you know?
But if safe is silly does a person have to throw caution to the wind in order to feel alive? Should a person seek a new line of work? Put the house up for sale? Give up on men altogether and join the convent? Try PG Tips?? Readers I am flummoxed. One mustn’t be hasty after all. Twenty years may not be quite enough time to decide whether Colgate is indeed the finest of toothpastes. Or whether eleven years blogging your life away is enough time to decide whether the writing life is really for you.
One is obliged, I do believe, to give things a chance: for isn’t it true that it is quite possible to muddle your way through life without really experiencing the things you have chosen to make permanent fixtures in your world?
Yes that’s it in a nutshell. I have just sorted my very own dilemma in the space of a paragraph! One of the blessings of writing is that I never quite know what words I will tap on to the screen: almost as if writing was a physical entity flowing through my fingers. Something beyond my control, yet more authentic than anything I could conjure up deliberately.
This then is the revelation I have just uncovered: change does not have to be sweeping. One does not have to throw in the towel on a life hard won, but can instead start with what we have and commit to improving it. There isn’t, I do not think, any need to start building on another plot, if the existing foundations are already solid. We just have to say this is enough, and start to appreciate all that we already have.
Case in point: two weeks ago I had brown hair. Granted there were a few strands of grey sprinkled through the front, but it was brown and all it needed was a wash in brown dye. So in a fit of I need to be alive and life is too short and brown is dull I allowed my naughty little sister to colour it and now I am mortified to say that I have scary red permanent patches all over my once brown head. A glossy head of brown hair was enough! I didn’t need red hair! I just needed to match the grey to the rest of my head and I would have been happy, but clearly this is what happens when you allow yourself to be talked into things and take it in to your silly brain to run a little wild!
Lesson learned Dear Hearts. I love my house. I love my blog. I love my hair. Hells bells, I even love Clover butter.
I just need to learn to love them a little harder.
Yes. All over. Yes!!!
HA! So true!
Yes, contentment is a blessed thing. I’m all for it. I do recommend trying PG Tips. Maybe you’ll like it better, or maybe you’ll find out that it was Tetley all along that you were right in sticking with. But I do love my PG Tips. Should I try Tetley? 😉
You make me smile!
PG Tips! Yes, you must – 🙂 and have a Tunnocks, too. My favorite comfort items and I hope this brings you a smile.
As always….perfect timing!!
Thank you 🙂
A wonderful, inspiring post as always. Definitely PG Tips for me. Have you started to clear the loft of unwanted clutter yet? I’m sure when that is done you will feel emotionally lighter and the foundations of your life will be even stronger.
Oh, you have been so near my thoughts. I loved this post. Yes, it is scary to change your tea bags. That being said, I did change recently to Thieves toothpaste… Oh, what a tingle. Lol…
I think red patchy hair sounds fab and moxie and sexy! I’m forever in your corner, no matter what changes you do or don’t make. … Gayla
Darling,
I just love you so. Of course we don’t need to make sweeping changes, but a refreshing change just may make you appreciate what you do have. I imagine you are stunning as a redhead. Your glorious mane is a part of you. Rock that red! Blotchy or not! Look at it as….a new “highlight” Just say its the latest “ombre” It’s never a mistake…it’s a new look. You rock that look girl! I am currently rocking light red roots, about 2 inches and the rest of my hair is dark auburn…I forgot to add the dark brown to the red mix. I am calling it spring ombre…who gives a hoot. I am me. I can change it later…but for now..Cest la vie. Spring Ombre…
Alison darling,
Have a look at this blog..Elizabeth Victoria Barnes. I happened along her blog as one of her posts went viral. “The Kingdom Mirror” She is absolutely hilarious. Brocante and her blog are the only ones I follow. She is American, lives in Philadelphia. Her sensibility is much like ours. She has a Victorian house she and her husband are renovating. Her sense of humor is stellar. She has a penchant for Giant Fancy Things…and she takes us through the trails and tribulations of searching Craigs list and auctions and trying to convince her long suffering husband that she absolutely cannot live without these things she finds online or on the curbside…or garage sales.. I hope I’m not being disrespectful by informing you of this blog. No disrespect intended. Just for your enjoyment. … I’m Canadian….we apologize a lot. LOL….