Recently, I keep finding myself walking the dreadfully unpredictable halls of Reddit in search of who knows what? Stimulation? Entertainment? Laughs? Horror? Disgust? Fright? Food for thought? Outrage? Heaven knows.
I read conspiracy theories and horror stories. I gawp at the people of Walmart and laugh at the ludicrous antics of those who aren’t the full shilling on Facebook. I oooh and ah at cute animals. Read one ghost story after the next, follow true crime investigations and once to my fascinated disgust found myself trawling a sub-reddit full of unidentified dead people, before I hurriedly switched the phone off and took myself to the naughty step to give my head a wobble for giving in to the kind of morbid, disrespectful, curiosity that could burn a person’s eyes.
I get almost nothing from such empty pursuit beyond exhaustion at the state of our world. Reading both the ugly and the trivial makes me feel sad and angry and irritated and frustrated and cross and ready to bash people.
But here’s the thing: despite all that it is both addictive and comforting at the same time.
Ugh. Not only am I now a woman who maintains a Sim City for no reason whatsoever, logging into the app daily to set my little pixeled factories up turning seeds into slabs of meat, but now I am a person who reads the most awful nonsense on social media and somehow cannot help herself for in such pursuit there is indeed a turning away from real life that makes me feel somewhat better about the chaos reigning in my own head.
This then is a form of numbing out. A closing off of the discerning mind in favour of that which satisfies our need for the kinds of comfort that both satisfy baser instincts and allow us to pop our troubles on a shelf in a mind favouring cat memes and people wandering the supermarkets of America with furry tails and stripper shoes. (Each to their own of course…).
It is both numbing out and dumbing down and I am a little ashamed of myself. While I understand that life has been excessively challenging lately and that the fact that I have remained standing should be sufficient to stop the relentless little voice inside me that whispers “Do better...”, the rest of me is not allowing my baser self to give in to it and as I lay in bed last night dwelling on the whereabouts of a woman who went missing in 1976, it struck me that this way madness, Saturday night TV and a preference for a Big Mac breakfast daily, surely lies.
It will not do. For while I am all for being a person in possession of something she can rely on for quick comfort in moments of need, lethargy or deathly boredom, (Self-care, remember) we owe it to ourselves not to allow it to consume us. We simply cannot allow ourselves to believe that letting our head debate the merits of those bonkers enough to believe that half the world are lizards is either rest or relaxation, when in truth it is neither and only serves to frustrate and create the most insidiously ridiculous lines of moral debate.
This then goes not only for my darn Reddit addiction and Sims “job”, but to all mind -numbing tactics in the same vein. I have noticed in times of stress that I make bad food choices, browse Facebook, endlessly worrying about the the mini-crisis’s of people I barely know, read formulaic domestic crime fiction one book after another and watch complete and utter nonsense on the TV. I eat crisps while I devour obscure investigations on the Crime channel (who knew there was such a thing??) and stay awake late into the night, debating cult leaders getting up to all manner of dodgy antics in the most obscure of sub-reddits and then climbing out of bed to go and stand Nigella style by the light of the fridge in search of something that half-way fills up the holes burning through my soul.
Yes. This way madness lies and last-night I thought, no more. Reddit and Facebook are both gone from my phone (again) and I have deleted all the rubbishy thrillers I had lined up in BorrowBox , Netflix and my Scribd account because none of these things serve me. They aren’t feeding my mind and they simply drive me further away from my authentic self: consuming my time, diluting my interests, and rendering me obsessed with depressing nonsense I can almost certainly live without knowing.
Today I am setting myself goals: a challenge to read my way through the Dean Street Press catalogue and a commitment to actually using the Creativelive subscription I bought but rarely remember to use. The banishing of all the so-called healthy junk food that has recently made its way into my pantry and a commitment to only checking into the numerous news sources on my phone once a day, because I am in danger of becoming a walking newsflash.
All this but you will never part me from my Sims because I am a woman in charge of a City don’t you know?
Create your own Brocante Life Book, plan Christmas, set up routines and rituals or live life the BrocanteHome way with my guided workbooks and planners.
The weather isn’t playing ball at all this Summer. Each day delivers a smattering of rain and then grey clouds shroud the sun we were so blessed with last year. The odd thing is that already I believe I have started to…
Sometimes the need for change wallops you in the face. But more often than not, its a creeping sensation. Truth that wraps around you like a vine, tendrils growing around static discontent and moss forming on all the stones so far left…
A few weeks ago a new family moved into the old cottage across the lane. A typical family with two young girls and a happy little cockapoo, they moved in with an eyesore of a trampoline, a boat, and a boy-racer car…
One of the things that is ridiculous about me (and trust me I am positively abundant in ridiculousity) is my quiet passion for Scooby Doo. In fact sometimes when I am wandering the house wearing my woman on the verge face, a…
In the olden days when ladies were ladies and Love Island didn’t exist, great store was set by the need for women of a certain class to be “accomplished”, not just in manners, etiquette and deportment, but in all manner of arts,…
Well now, one minute you are climbing out the shower minding your own business and the next the bathmat has scarpered and you have nearly split yourself in two with one leg in the bath and the other halfway across the bathroom…
{"id":null,"mode":"form","open_style":"in_place","currency_code":"USD","currency_symbol":"$","currency_type":"decimal","blank_flag_url":"https:\/\/brocantehome.net\/wp-content\/plugins\/tip-jar-wp\/\/assets\/images\/flags\/blank.gif","flag_sprite_url":"https:\/\/brocantehome.net\/wp-content\/plugins\/tip-jar-wp\/\/assets\/images\/flags\/flags.png","default_amount":300,"top_media_type":"featured_image","featured_image_url":"http:\/\/brocantehome.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/tipjar-2.png","featured_embed":"","header_media":null,"file_download_attachment_data":null,"recurring_options_enabled":true,"recurring_options":{"never":{"selected":true,"after_output":"One time only"},"weekly":{"selected":false,"after_output":"Every week"},"monthly":{"selected":false,"after_output":"Every month"},"yearly":{"selected":false,"after_output":"Every year"}},"strings":{"current_user_email":"","current_user_name":"","link_text":"Leave a tip","complete_payment_button_error_text":"Check info and try again","payment_verb":"Pay","payment_request_label":"BrocanteHome","form_has_an_error":"Please check and fix the errors above","general_server_error":"Something isn't working right at the moment. Please try again.","form_title":"BrocanteHome","form_subtitle":"Help Me to Keep BrocanteHome Online","currency_search_text":"Country or Currency here","other_payment_option":"Other payment option","manage_payments_button_text":"Manage your payments","thank_you_message":"Thank you so much: helping me keep Brocantehome online really means the world to me.","payment_confirmation_title":"BrocanteHome","receipt_title":"Your Receipt","print_receipt":"Print Receipt","email_receipt":"Email Receipt","email_receipt_sending":"Sending receipt...","email_receipt_success":"Email receipt successfully sent","email_receipt_failed":"Email receipt failed to send. Please try again.","receipt_payee":"Paid to","receipt_statement_descriptor":"This will show up on your statement as","receipt_date":"Date","receipt_transaction_id":"Transaction ID","receipt_transaction_amount":"Amount","refund_payer":"Refund from","login":"Log in to manage your payments","manage_payments":"Manage Payments","transactions_title":"Your Transactions","transaction_title":"Transaction Receipt","transaction_period":"Plan Period","arrangements_title":"Your Plans","arrangement_title":"Manage Plan","arrangement_details":"Plan Details","arrangement_id_title":"Plan ID","arrangement_payment_method_title":"Payment Method","arrangement_amount_title":"Plan Amount","arrangement_renewal_title":"Next renewal date","arrangement_action_cancel":"Cancel Plan","arrangement_action_cant_cancel":"Cancelling is currently not available.","arrangement_action_cancel_double":"Are you sure you'd like to cancel?","arrangement_cancelling":"Cancelling Plan...","arrangement_cancelled":"Plan Cancelled","arrangement_failed_to_cancel":"Failed to cancel plan","back_to_plans":"\u2190 Back to Plans","update_payment_method_verb":"Update","sca_auth_description":"Your have a pending renewal payment which requires authorization.","sca_auth_verb":"Authorize renewal payment","sca_authing_verb":"Authorizing payment","sca_authed_verb":"Payment successfully authorized!","sca_auth_failed":"Unable to authorize! Please try again.","login_button_text":"Log in","login_form_has_an_error":"Please check and fix the errors above","uppercase_search":"Search","lowercase_search":"search","uppercase_page":"Page","lowercase_page":"page","uppercase_items":"Items","lowercase_items":"items","uppercase_per":"Per","lowercase_per":"per","uppercase_of":"Of","lowercase_of":"of","back":"Back to plans","zip_code_placeholder":"Zip\/Postal Code","download_file_button_text":"Download File","input_field_instructions":{"tip_amount":{"placeholder_text":"How much would you like to tip?","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"How much would you like to tip? Choose any currency."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"How much would you like to tip? Choose any currency."},"invalid_curency":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Please choose a valid currency."}},"recurring":{"placeholder_text":"Recurring","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"How often would you like to give this?"},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"How often would you like to give this?"},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"How often would you like to give this?"}},"name":{"placeholder_text":"Name on Credit Card","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter the name on your card."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Enter the name on your card."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Please enter the name on your card."}},"privacy_policy":{"terms_title":"Terms and conditions","terms_body":null,"terms_show_text":"View Terms","terms_hide_text":"Hide Terms","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"I agree to the terms."},"unchecked":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Please agree to the terms."},"checked":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"I agree to the terms."}},"email":{"placeholder_text":"Your email address","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your email address"},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Enter your email address"},"blank":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your email address"},"not_an_email_address":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Make sure you have entered a valid email address"}},"note_with_tip":{"placeholder_text":"Your note here...","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Attach a note to your tip (optional)"},"empty":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Attach a note to your tip (optional)"},"not_empty_initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Attach a note to your tip (optional)"},"saving":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Saving note..."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Note successfully saved!"},"error":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Unable to save note note at this time. Please try again."}},"email_for_login_code":{"placeholder_text":"Your email address","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."},"blank":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."}},"login_code":{"initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."},"blank":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."}},"stripe_all_in_one":{"initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your credit card details here."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your credit card details here."},"success":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your credit card details here."},"invalid_number":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card number is not a valid credit card number."},"invalid_expiry_month":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration month is invalid."},"invalid_expiry_year":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration year is invalid."},"invalid_cvc":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's security code is invalid."},"incorrect_number":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card number is incorrect."},"incomplete_number":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card number is incomplete."},"incomplete_cvc":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's security code is incomplete."},"incomplete_expiry":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration date is incomplete."},"incomplete_zip":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's zip code is incomplete."},"expired_card":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card has expired."},"incorrect_cvc":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's security code is incorrect."},"incorrect_zip":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's zip code failed validation."},"invalid_expiry_year_past":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration year is in the past"},"card_declined":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card was declined."},"missing":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"There is no card on a customer that is being charged."},"processing_error":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"An error occurred while processing the card."},"invalid_request_error":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Unable to process this payment, please try again or use alternative method."},"invalid_sofort_country":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The billing country is not accepted by SOFORT. Please try another country."}}}},"fetched_oembed_html":false}