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  1. trouble is, Alison – as you get older the weight can cause health problems… which is what I found out….. I love cheese and chocolate too but the high cholestrol and high blood pressure really worried me. And I hate to diet… it is not me at all. I LOVE food… healthy eating plans are more sensible..
    anyhooo – hang in there… if you decide to join us and 'diet', we can always cheer you on

  2. Oh God Alison, reading this bought tears to my eyes. You are so honest and true, and I really do feel sometimes that you must be looking through my window. The lovely thing about the internet is that people see a name and not the physical body for me. This is a place where I can be Mimi. Where shopping for trousers does not reduce me to tears. I have been going to a slimming club since March, and I hate the way they talk about food and themselves. 'I've been really naughty this week'. I hate that. I hate when I feel good for once and then see a photo that brings me right back down. I know I should be saying lovely things to make you feel better, but in my experience, sometimes you just need to know- you are not alone.
    Hugs!

  3. While, very ironically, I would always choose a thin stranger over a fat one to think, "Well, what a neat person," I don't really think I can ever say, "I hate fat people." When I think of it, many many many of the finest and most loving people in my life have been heavy, chubby, fat. Alas, I'm a fat person, as well, but I don't hope to always be. Just as I dream of getting my home snuggly and wonderful, finally having enough money to live beyond paycheck to paycheck, and maybe finding someone who'd love to share my life, I dream that someday I'll be slender, even willowy! I read a quote yesterday that says you become old only when you replace your dreams with regrets. I get in danger of doing that sometimes, but although I understand your frustration (because I share it) I think the same passion that creates that frustration creates the cravings that feed the fat. All my problems come from my weight in some aspects…. more energy, more health, more pizazz, more allure, but I still think you must rethink that statement that you hate fat people. I really don't want you to hate me, Alison, because I truly treasure you and all you have done for us. Love ya.
    G.

  4. HI! I totally realate! I am not obese, but I woke up and all of a sudden am 25 lbs overweight 🙂 BUT, i have been doing the south beach diet and and I have lost 20 I am about 3-4 away from before kids weight!!! I do the protein shake for lunch, 3 eggs tomatoes and toast for breakfast, a gallon of water a day, a protein shake for pm snack, a light dinner and NEVER EAT after 6 pm 🙂 I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    BUT THE mirror looks a little nicer, now I need everything that has gone south to go north and I dont think that will happen real soon or EVER>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  5. BTW, a couple a notes:
    if that is you in the black curly hair, you look gorgeous!
    note #2. I highly suggest getting full size mirrors, its reality and it keeps me in check with what is really going on 🙂
    ang

  6. This post of yours is so honest. I can totally relate. My husband tells me when get in a funk about my weight that it's important to love myself NOW. Can't postpone that until I get down to the size I want to be. The acceptance has to be today.
    I think you know that to be true too. You're a sweetheart, I hope you know.

  7. Gosh I Love ya girl! I can totally relate to you. I was always known as the "skinny" girl, and in my head, I was still the skinny girl. Then I looked in the mirror one day and saw that my shirt was not nice, strait, and smooth. No. Instead it was bulging out here and there with my "love handles". Skinny girl? Not anymore Susana! Not after having 3 baby's, honey! So now I tell myself, "Well, I'm not the skinny girl, but I'm not the fat girl either". And then… I see my thighs. Ok, so maybe I'm the "not so fat girl". Love Ya!
    -Susana

  8. Alison,
    You are beautiful. You are beautiful as you are now, you were beautiful when you were thinner. You always, no matter what size you are, look drop dead gorgeous(even in that green top you were wearing when seasonal scrubbing). I don't know anyone that wouldn't agree, and so far have not met a man that doesn't fancy you.
    If you decide to loose weight then do it by healthy eating and giving youself the odd planned treat. Denial is just not good for mind, body or soul.

  9. Thank you all so much for your lovely kind comments: reading back I think that perhaps the tone of the piece is wrong: yes I hate being big, but I am who I am in spite of it, and when I say I hate myself and other fat people I think I mean the inherent connotations in my own mindset, rather than anything I project onto other big women (who never strike me as anything other than themselves as opposed to labels I might apply to myself) Does that make sense?
    I think what I am trying to say is that yes, I am unhappy with my weight, but is only a tiny part of who I am: I am an intelligent woman and I know how to deal with this, I just have to dig up some willpower from somewhere!!

  10. Alison,
    I don't have any wonderful advice, but it made me sad to hear that you are so unhappy with yourself. You seem like such a wonderful, gifted woman. I wish you could see that when you look in the mirror and treat the challenge of your weight as something separate, something more removed. Easier said than done, I know, but truly, from my heart I hope you find peace with this.

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