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  1. For years I felt persecuted by the judgement of others, believing that this defined my very existence. Having a chronically asthmatic child, I berated myself constantly,that in some way I was to blame. That my home was not clean enough. Neurotically cleaning myself into exhaustion and a nervous breakdown that eventually served no one.
    I wish someone had taken my hand 20+ years ago and said everything would be alright, it never came and no one ever said. I now do what needs to be done and give myself permission to stop and make time for myself and do all the things I once enjoyed, sewing, reading and now my garden.
    My father has always stated that, people who genuinely come to visit you do not come to judge your home and if they do, then they don’t deserve to be there. X

  2. This is so fantastically, passionately well written I want to lay down my kindle and give you a round of applause! ( except the other members of my household will think I’ve gone mad….again…). I have nurtured a theory, in my own brain, for a while now that maybe it is because being a ‘home maker, housewife, whatever you want to call it’ has lost its reverence in society somehow. If we gave it equal importance to, say, being a CEO of a company, gave it corporate terms and ‘speak’ we would be respecting, nay, aspiring to be the guy who worked ‘smarter not Harder’ !!! Men look up to other men who seem to make high flying positions look easy – why do us women seem to want to make drudgery and stress the aspiration or bar by which to judge???!!!! You are so right, no one’s last words, I am sure, were “I wish I’d cleaned more” and no child has fond lasting memories of how their parent always ironed their PE kit…..

  3. Shortly after I had my first child (26 years ago), my mother-in-law said something very profound to me. She said, “When you feel pulled between cleaning your house and playing with your baby, know this: A clean house can’t say I love you.” Awesome words, huh? I took them to heart, and though my house was always neat and orderly, it wasn’t perfect, Better Homes & Garden-ready. I preferred playing with my kids to vacuuming and dusting every day.

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