The Life Audit

By alison February 3, 2015 5 Comments 5 Min Read

And so it is another one of those days when life feels so deliciously chaotic, I have no choice but to try to gather my thoughts at the beginning of a new month, so I can get a grip on where I’m at and you can share a little more of life here at BrocanteHome. As always please feel free to steal the graphic and do a life audit of your own, or indeed download the Life Audit PDF (it’s free) and get your pencil out…

Today I am…

Stacking up clothes to take to the recycling bin. It is an on-going war. Feeling thyroidy. Making ham and carrot soup, the way my Mum makes it – without blending it into yellow gloop. Listening over and over again to “Sometimes We Cry” and wondering how it is that I miss songs I will eventually come to love, when the rest of the world nods sagely and tells me they already know them. Catching up on Mr.Selfridge because to my astonishment I am an entire series behind. And trying to sort my phone out because it keeps delivering days old messages to me in the small hours.


Like I might lose my marbles if I don’t have another coffee very soon. No longer spooked twenty four hours a day by life. A peculiar absence of fear. Happy. In a relaxed, everything is going to be so very ok way, I have not felt for a long time. Tired. Because I am staying up way after bedtime lately. Musical! I can’t stop singing. Spotty. A slave to my hormones. (I swear my bum varies in size by about five inches every two weeks). Floaty like. Frustrated by my inability to write. Sure it won’t last forever. Letting my Muse do her thing in the certainty that she will return when she knows that I am ready…


never easy
Poetry and pithy one-liners on Pinterest because I have got the attention span of a newt at the moment! (Does a newt have a short attention span?) This when I can keep my eyes open. Because it is astonishing. A cacophony of lies and domesticity. (Review coming soon…). And the latest Hamish Macbeth, Death of a Liar because riddling out a murder or two with Hamish, always feels like coming home.


My fingernails. After all these years I am losing hope of ever being able to stop. A ready meal from Marks and Spencer’s that I cannot get enough of. Yep. You read that right. A ready meal. I am currently a culinary disgrace. Lots of tuna with cider vinegar and chopped red onion. Cadbury’s Turkish Delight bars ice-cold from the fridge.


A new life resplendent with laughter, pretty please. A new working day routine because time at the computer has gone a bit skewiff! On not overwhelming myself with lots of to-do’s but working day by day as I recover from the past few years trauma. On doing something about my dog and cat situation because it is more than I can cope with. Though what I am not quite sure yet. A proper holiday. Because it isn’t normal to have not been on holiday for TWENTY years. (No wonder I’m tired!). On sticking at age 42 for the rest of my life because people keep telling me its all downhill from here and its a worry on my un-botoxed mind…

Dreaming of…

Food. I keep dreaming about food. Over and over again. Night after night. The other night sitting at a green table content and overfed. Apparently this denotes spiritual and emotional fulfilment, but I do believe it is because my eating is so erratic lately. Will throw myself a feast and monitor my dream mind’s reaction.


The life of Riley. These shoes (size seven please universe). Warmer afternoons because recently I get chilled to the bone at around three o’clock each day. A whole day in bed. An ikea hot-dog (heaven knows why!). Oh and Obsession body lotion – the original one with the twinkly bits, because I cannot find it for love nor money and nothing makes me feel quite as special.


I didn’t have so many books. And bras. I swear I have got bras coming out of my ears lately. Wishing I could avoid bookshops and lingerie aisles. But I can’t because I cannot survive without books and the dog keeps eating my underwear. Wishing I knew what next week and next year will bring. A crystal ball would be lovely don’t you know?

Working On…

Thinning my thighs. Yes. It remains the kind of obsession I can only cope with in short, manic, evangelical bursts. But my cousin is getting married in august and I am DETERMINED to be my kind of skinny. Slowly but surely reclaiming my home. Trying not to feel frustrated. Staying warm because I’m so damn cold! (I am turning into a blanket lady, wandering around the house in two pairs of socks with a throw on my back like a wizened old crone).


More fun than you could shake a stick at! Almost being myself again. Being able to sleep peacefully each and every night. Something that is making me smile.

Grateful For…

Finn. He is spectacularly, scarily big nowadays. Almost at my chin. I’m growing him up good! He is big. And noisy. And I love him to the moon and back. I am not however grateful that the child is perpetually filthy.

And finally tomorrow I will be…

Going on a mid-week adventure! Giving myself permission to steal a little happiness…

On my to-do list this month?

* Buying a red outfit for Finn to wear on British Heart Foundation Day at school .
* Sorting out Finn’s bedroom for the next stage in his little boy life…
* Finding dog bowls this silly mutt won’t keep knocking over!
* Giving the dishwasher an over-haul because it definitely isn’t working quite the way it should do.
* Going for those damn blood tests.
* Hanging the mirror back up in the dining room.
Happy February Housekeepers!


  1. Shelanne says:

    Those shoes truly are fabulous! xx

  2. Annette says:

    I so enjoy your writings
    thank you. Again.

  3. Mimi xx says:

    Oh my, I have been lusting after those very same shoes! And do tell, which ready meal do I need to try?!
    So glad things are sunnier xx

  4. Caroline says:

    Hi Alison
    I still can’t download the Life Audit (couldn’t last time you posted it either!). Any suggestions?
    Thank you!

  5. Gill says:

    Shoes. To. Die. For!
    So good to hear you are bouncing back again.
    It takes courage and determination to makeover a wee laddies room into a space fit for a secondary schoolboy, my youngest is just Finn’s age and only recently discarded his favourite soft toys from his bed. Bunny curtains were replaced with sea voyager/ not quite pirates ones five years ago, and now really need moving on. I bought ikea blue checked fabric to do so last summer, but still haven’t started! Oh soon, but not too soon, he is still my baby!

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