The Nesting Instinct.

By alison April 12, 2006 10 Comments 2 Min Read

Now at the risk of sounding like I am obsessed with it (Hey ho, I am. I find myself an endless source of fascination) and offending anyone upset by the discussion of such delicate matters, I want to talk about my menstrual cycle.

You see I have always been a once a month lunatic. Since I was fourteen I have wailed   and moaned and snapped and shouted and cryed at the drop of a hat and since I had Finley the madness  has reached new heights. This new form of pre-menstrual dementia has taken on a very distinctive pattern: no longer am I content to take to my chaise longue with a hot water bottle and avoid people whose face bugs me.

Oh no. Nowadays my ten day hysteria is punctuated by two days of what I can only call euphoria. Two days when I am a bundle of energy, ready to cook up a storm, clean the house from top to bottom, be the best Mommy in the whole wide world, and smile in a really rather crazy fashion until Mark can no longer abide the jollity and insists I go to bed.

People I get happy.
It’s the strangest thing. One minute I’m screaming like a banshee  at the cretin who cannot  even manage to puff  up a cushion correctly and the next I’m baking heart shaped apple pies , fluffing up my hair and batting my eyelashes while I clean the hellhole under the sink and drag a chair around the house so I can elimate that pesky top of the door dust. Never mind that I burn toast and there is no hope of paying the phone  bill  this month. All my worries are dissolved in the grip of this temporary wonderful madness.

It’s  fabulously wack and I can only put it down to the fact that my body is holding a monthly staging of the preparation we are compelled to do in the few days before we pop our babbas out. Which really rather thrillingly means that for two days the house is a dream and I am the kind of smiley 1950’s perfect mommy and housewife I pretend to be the rest of the month.
I am in short a joy to behold. But you will be please to hear that it has passed and I am in tummy ache phase now. So beware. It ain’t pretty.

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10 Comments

  1. Catherine says:

    Sorry I can't offer any solutions to the problem, but if it helps my husband always knows when it is my time of the month. Apparently I get that crazy "come near me and I'll rip your arms off" look at that time and that's despite having a hormone implant that has stopped all that monthly business for the past five years. Hang in there, you have plenty of sympathy I'm sure, from the female population.

  2. Catherine says:

    Sorry I can't offer any solutions to the problem, but if it helps my husband always knows when it is my time of the month. Apparently I get that crazy "come near me and I'll rip your arms off" look at that time and that's despite having a hormone implant that has stopped all that monthly business for the past five years. Hang in there, you have plenty of sympathy I'm sure, from the female population.

  3. Kristy says:

    Oh I wish I had the happy cleaning part I just get the GRGHHH!!!!
    Did you get the books yet?

  4. persephone says:

    Its the constant influx of hormones that makes you crazy and then suddenly happy. I've been on birth control pills since I was 14, because I too turned crazy. (and I pushed a boy's head into the drinking fountain and chipped his tooth… oops)

  5. persephone says:

    Its the constant influx of hormones that makes you crazy and then suddenly happy. I've been on birth control pills since I was 14, because I too turned crazy. (and I pushed a boy's head into the drinking fountain and chipped his tooth… oops)

  6. Kerry says:

    Ahhh the girly hormones. Alison … have another baby … might only be a temporary solution but you ~ not to mention Mark and Finley ~ will have a few months reprieve!!!

  7. Kerry says:

    Ahhh the girly hormones. Alison … have another baby … might only be a temporary solution but you ~ not to mention Mark and Finley ~ will have a few months reprieve!!!

  8. ms*robyn says:

    so, are Mark and Finley hiding under the lounge now? I suffered just like you, Alison. Hated it and sometimes thought I was completely insane. I am amazed at just how much we are alike – I look at you and remember what it was like for me. Can't offer any advice, I can't even remember what helped me. It stopped when I had it all removed 🙂 But I have heard evening primrose helps for PMT and guess what? after PMT comes the dreaded menopause – yick

  9. ms*robyn says:

    so, are Mark and Finley hiding under the lounge now? I suffered just like you, Alison. Hated it and sometimes thought I was completely insane. I am amazed at just how much we are alike – I look at you and remember what it was like for me. Can't offer any advice, I can't even remember what helped me. It stopped when I had it all removed 🙂 But I have heard evening primrose helps for PMT and guess what? after PMT comes the dreaded menopause – yick

  10. Gena says:

    ha ha! I read this whilst nodding my head in sympathy! yes its the rotten hormones to blame,Try my remedy which if you do stick to it,(and I mean dont give up after a month)does work,buy a really good B vitamin complex,it has worked wonders for me,but it took a few months to kick in,the only thing it has not cured is the chocolate craving,but perhaps I make my hormones an excuse for that!

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