To The Mattresses.

By alison December 19, 2006 16 Comments 2 Min Read

Skeleton_1
Fiddlesticks.
It would appear that to all intents and purposes, things are a bit on the crazy side around here. I feel fine but I’ve got no voice and I keep finding friends and relatives sitting on my cushion-strewn sofa, drinking herbal tea and urging me to “be strong” in the face of what must strike other people as emotional crises on ooh, just about every front…
This strikes me as utterly nuts. Is it possible that a person can be so wrapped up in their own little world that they can’t see what is apparently blatantly clear to next door neighbours, maiden aunts and strangers on the bus? And if it is, does it really matter? Is it possible that I look at the world through rose-tinted spectacles while the rest of the universe is dissecting my every mood, every emotion, every little sentence  and deciding that it is a wonder I make it through the day, let alone get up, get dressed (most days!) and find the energy to re-invent my little online world and recover from another bashed up heart the week before Christmas?
I am you see a Meg Ryan, “You’ve  Got Mail”  kinda girl.   When trouble comes a-knocking, I go to the mattresses. And come out all guns blazing. And usually pointing in the wrong direction…
So while the rest of the world is wrapping presents, I am rethinking my  blog colour scheme.  Mostly so I  don’t have to think about  the fact that  I haven’t bought a single Christmas gift  worth talking  about yet. So I don’t have to dwell on the Scott thing. Or the fact that Mark won’t be here when our babba is too demented to go to sleep on Christmas Eve.
Dwell not on things you cannot change.
So I am re-arranging my sidebars, considering joining Weight Watchers, teaching myself how to burn cd’s, chasing mice and trying not to daydream. Pretending that Christmas isn’t five days away but at the same time sleeping safe in the knowledge that by Christmas Eve I will have every gift bought, wrapped and delivered. I’ll be snuggly in my bestest flannel dressing gown waiting to say hello to Santa when he falls down the chimney, watching rubbish tv and feeling bizarely content.
There is after all, a heart-shaped wreath on the door, home-made paper chains adorning the tree,  and the scent  of  cinnamon in the air.  There are tins full of home-made shortbread and mince pies,  cards strung chirpily across the fireplace and a happy little boy fast asleep with a head full of dreams about Father Christmas.
Tomorrow I will go with Mark to play Mr and Mrs Christmas in Toys R Us. By midnight there will be a house full of toys wrapped in brown paper and tied with big fat bows. It isn’t the natural order of things around here, but I am simply muddling my way through a whole new world and some days, some nights, some seasons are harder  than others…
It’s been a funny old year. But I’m doing my best. Facing my fears. Stepping over minor calamities and refusing to worry about tomorrow. Being just about as strong as it is possible for me to be in circumstances I wouldn’t wish upon a big dog.
It’s been a funny old year.

Other Things To Do At BrocanteHome

16 Comments

  1. Yes, this year is finishing and a new one is coming as a book all white to be writen. We may begin again.

  2. Yes, this year is finishing and a new one is coming as a book all white to be writen. We may begin again.

  3. Nonnie says:

    It has indeed been a funny old year. For me too. I really hope that next year is so much better for you Alison. I have a funny feeling it will be. And you know what, Christmas is just a day in the year, as long as any other. Only difference is that we stuff ourselves with turkey and watch even more rubbishy television than usual. You'll get through it and come January 1st you can fill your home with delicious spring blooms and look forward to a new adventure in 2007.
    By the way, I can definitely recommend giving your blog a new look. I've done just that with mine this week and it made me feel like the new year had started already. It gave me that sort of uncluttered and enthusiastic feeling. Actually, I probably shouldn't admit it but it made me want Christmas to be over so I could get on with all the things I have planned for 2007.

  4. Nonnie says:

    It has indeed been a funny old year. For me too. I really hope that next year is so much better for you Alison. I have a funny feeling it will be. And you know what, Christmas is just a day in the year, as long as any other. Only difference is that we stuff ourselves with turkey and watch even more rubbishy television than usual. You'll get through it and come January 1st you can fill your home with delicious spring blooms and look forward to a new adventure in 2007.
    By the way, I can definitely recommend giving your blog a new look. I've done just that with mine this week and it made me feel like the new year had started already. It gave me that sort of uncluttered and enthusiastic feeling. Actually, I probably shouldn't admit it but it made me want Christmas to be over so I could get on with all the things I have planned for 2007.

  5. Mrs. K Martin says:

    To all those who worry over you: I too, randomly read your "little changing world"…..and I think you are doing Grand!! I haven't gotten my Gingerbread House baked yet. And I think I may just go buy one, now wouldn't that throw the relatives into a tissy?

  6. Mrs. K Martin says:

    To all those who worry over you: I too, randomly read your "little changing world"…..and I think you are doing Grand!! I haven't gotten my Gingerbread House baked yet. And I think I may just go buy one, now wouldn't that throw the relatives into a tissy?

  7. Karla says:

    Must have been something in the air this year – ours was a funny sort of year too. I'm so happy that 2007 is nearing, and hoping that it will be better than this year.
    It sounds to me that you are doing pretty good right now, despite the lack of Christmas gifts. For all you've been doing, you are wonderfully sane and handling the world in your own way of coping.
    Let the relatives spout their "advice" but live your life the way you see fit my dear.
    Hope your Christmas brings a bit of magic to your heart.

  8. Karla says:

    Must have been something in the air this year – ours was a funny sort of year too. I'm so happy that 2007 is nearing, and hoping that it will be better than this year.
    It sounds to me that you are doing pretty good right now, despite the lack of Christmas gifts. For all you've been doing, you are wonderfully sane and handling the world in your own way of coping.
    Let the relatives spout their "advice" but live your life the way you see fit my dear.
    Hope your Christmas brings a bit of magic to your heart.

  9. Kim says:

    It has indeed been a funny sort of year for you….but, it seems that you are doing just what you should at the end of a year like this….realize it is what it is & get through it the best way you know how. And a lovely way it is. Here is to a wonderful 2007!

  10. Kim says:

    It has indeed been a funny sort of year for you….but, it seems that you are doing just what you should at the end of a year like this….realize it is what it is & get through it the best way you know how. And a lovely way it is. Here is to a wonderful 2007!

  11. Savannah says:

    I was just thinking what a funny old year it had been for my family, too. Who knows what 2007 will bring? But I know whether you change the looks of your beautiful Brocante Home or not, we'll continue to enjoy reading your wonderful words. Hugs and Hugs from Missouri to you and Finley, your Mum and Dad, Helen and your sweet nephew, and to anyone else you choose to share them with. Take care, Sweetie!

  12. Savannah says:

    I was just thinking what a funny old year it had been for my family, too. Who knows what 2007 will bring? But I know whether you change the looks of your beautiful Brocante Home or not, we'll continue to enjoy reading your wonderful words. Hugs and Hugs from Missouri to you and Finley, your Mum and Dad, Helen and your sweet nephew, and to anyone else you choose to share them with. Take care, Sweetie!

  13. melissa says:

    This is one good post, mainly because as hard as I try to feel Christmassy for our kids, it's been an odd year here too. As moods and personalities rear their ugly heads during the holidays and I just want to hide out with my family here. The rest can go!

  14. melissa says:

    This is one good post, mainly because as hard as I try to feel Christmassy for our kids, it's been an odd year here too. As moods and personalities rear their ugly heads during the holidays and I just want to hide out with my family here. The rest can go!

  15. deb says:

    You are funny.. We would appreciate your new blog colors. HA! 🙂 I love your Meg Ryan "You've Got Mail" reference.. I am totally the same way and use that movie as a reference quite often. Hubby on the other hand is more of a Tom Hanks type.. not that that's bad of course but we certainly don't always see eye to eye.
    Merry Christmas to you and may you feel the magic this weekend (or if not.. may it go by quickly for you.) Here's to a wonderful new year!

  16. deb says:

    You are funny.. We would appreciate your new blog colors. HA! 🙂 I love your Meg Ryan "You've Got Mail" reference.. I am totally the same way and use that movie as a reference quite often. Hubby on the other hand is more of a Tom Hanks type.. not that that's bad of course but we certainly don't always see eye to eye.
    Merry Christmas to you and may you feel the magic this weekend (or if not.. may it go by quickly for you.) Here's to a wonderful new year!

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