The jigsaw situation is getting as out of hand as is the "It wasn’t me who wrote on the wall Mummy. I’m just not interested in writing on the wall, I promise" situation. If I’m not tripping over one of seven jigsaws on the go and ruining my son’s life (I’m ruined Mum, you’ve ruined me!), I am discovering another "work of art" destroying another piece of furniture. Scribbles on walls discovered by a Mummy with a few pieces of Postman Pat jigsaw glueing themselves to her nether regions, does not a happy Alison make…
So this morning in between crying over 4 litres of spilt milk and trying out the old dry white bread technique on a variety of ruined surfaces (trust me it doesn’t work: not when your little Picasso has seen fit to engrave your paintwork with his delightful doodles…), I took it upon myself to do three loads of washing, disinfect the bin and oh yes, transform myself into the kind of understated glamourpuss who goes and meets a man for coffee when she has her little boy safely ensconced in nursery…
I had a date. In the day. It made me feel muddled. Like somehow I was stepping out of one role into another. Like someone might find out and shout at me. Like it wasn’t ok to meet a man, to smudge on a bit of lipstick and step outside my life for a bit. So confused was I, that in fear of him not turning up I dithered over which book to take, (So I looked nonchalant when he arrived, or busy, should I find myself stranded with a hot drink and a painted on "No I certainly haven’t been stood up!" smile!) What would reading "Are Men Necessary?" say about me? Would he think I was a crazy child obsessed Mommy loon tune if I took "Perfect Madness" or a sex crazed single white female if I took "Single Mom Seeking"??? Do I care?
Oh for goodness sake! Why do I have to think so hard about these things? Why can’t I just lean across the counter and grab the complimentary Daily Mirror like a normal person?? (God forbid.)
He is nice. A silly, cheeky kinda chappie, who stood in the queue buying himself a drink (I was unfashionably early and equipped with a large hot chocolate), took one look at my book and mouthed "Thats us: me perfect, you completely mad…"
So things got off to a good start. I laughed so hard bubbles went up my nose. Chocolate flake crumbles ruined my top, we talked nonsense at each other, shared recent histories, and then I forced him to walk to Tesco with me to buy more milk and we kissed goodbye. It was nice, but short lived, because before too long I was running back to school, swiping lipstick off my face and stepping back into my Mommy role, so thoroughly guilty about the whole matter I spent the rest of the afternoon running around the living room wearing a pirate hat and shouting "land ahoy!" because that is what good mommies ought to do…
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14 Comments
Oh, I just love it! Aren't you gobsmacked at just how many roles we take on? Oh, how it makes me smile. Sick grinning dramas! This variety a mamma lives is a constant source of utter awe to me. Of course, we all have our different variety shows, but you gotta just smile…. Lovingly, and knowingly, Cherished
That is so neat! What was the book? Hope you enjoy your date – you do deserve a bit of fun 🙂 btw toothpaste gets pen markings off furniture and walls…
That is so neat! What was the book? Hope you enjoy your date – you do deserve a bit of fun 🙂 btw toothpaste gets pen markings off furniture and walls…
Very pleased to hear you had a date. Good for you. You deserve a bit of fun during the day. Nothing wrong with that at all. Glad you enjoyed it. When's the next date?
Very pleased to hear you had a date. Good for you. You deserve a bit of fun during the day. Nothing wrong with that at all. Glad you enjoyed it. When's the next date?
Little Finn wanted to leave his mark on the world, I guess. One of mine came to me when he was 1 year old and handed me a large strip of wallpaper and said "No-no!"
Little Finn wanted to leave his mark on the world, I guess. One of mine came to me when he was 1 year old and handed me a large strip of wallpaper and said "No-no!"
"It wasn't me who wrote on the wall Mummy. I'm just not interested in writing on the wall, I promise" HAHAHAHA! That is too much! So glad you had a good date 🙂
"It wasn't me who wrote on the wall Mummy. I'm just not interested in writing on the wall, I promise" HAHAHAHA! That is too much! So glad you had a good date 🙂
Don't feel guilty over having a life. One of the most important lessons kids can learn is that they are not always the center of our universes. They need to see us being human and happy even when they aren't around.
It's very funny that Postman Pat is glued precisely where *your* postman sounds like he'd like to be! Maybe you can convince one of your flower-stealing little old ladies to get to know him; bribe her with some guilt-free cuttings if necessary. She could be his postmistress, and you'll have solved a couple of problems in one go. Despite everything, I feel a little sorry for the old fellow; quite possibly he's just lonely.
It's very funny that Postman Pat is glued precisely where *your* postman sounds like he'd like to be! Maybe you can convince one of your flower-stealing little old ladies to get to know him; bribe her with some guilt-free cuttings if necessary. She could be his postmistress, and you'll have solved a couple of problems in one go. Despite everything, I feel a little sorry for the old fellow; quite possibly he's just lonely.
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Oh, I just love it! Aren't you gobsmacked at just how many roles we take on? Oh, how it makes me smile. Sick grinning dramas! This variety a mamma lives is a constant source of utter awe to me. Of course, we all have our different variety shows, but you gotta just smile….
Lovingly, and knowingly,
Cherished
That is so neat! What was the book? Hope you enjoy your date – you do deserve a bit of fun 🙂 btw toothpaste gets pen markings off furniture and walls…
That is so neat! What was the book? Hope you enjoy your date – you do deserve a bit of fun 🙂 btw toothpaste gets pen markings off furniture and walls…
Good for you lady! Glad you had fun!
Very pleased to hear you had a date. Good for you. You deserve a bit of fun during the day. Nothing wrong with that at all. Glad you enjoyed it. When's the next date?
Very pleased to hear you had a date. Good for you. You deserve a bit of fun during the day. Nothing wrong with that at all. Glad you enjoyed it. When's the next date?
Little Finn wanted to leave his mark on the world, I guess.
One of mine came to me when he was 1 year old and handed me a large strip of wallpaper and said "No-no!"
Little Finn wanted to leave his mark on the world, I guess.
One of mine came to me when he was 1 year old and handed me a large strip of wallpaper and said "No-no!"
Delightful! and how lovely you look in that photo! I bet your date thought all his birthdays had arrived at once!
"It wasn't me who wrote on the wall Mummy. I'm just not interested in writing on the wall, I promise"
HAHAHAHA! That is too much!
So glad you had a good date 🙂
"It wasn't me who wrote on the wall Mummy. I'm just not interested in writing on the wall, I promise"
HAHAHAHA! That is too much!
So glad you had a good date 🙂
Don't feel guilty over having a life. One of the most important lessons kids can learn is that they are not always the center of our universes. They need to see us being human and happy even when they aren't around.
It's very funny that Postman Pat is glued precisely where *your* postman sounds like he'd like to be!
Maybe you can convince one of your flower-stealing little old ladies to get to know him; bribe her with some guilt-free cuttings if necessary.
She could be his postmistress, and you'll have solved a couple of problems in one go. Despite everything, I feel a little sorry for the old fellow; quite possibly he's just lonely.
It's very funny that Postman Pat is glued precisely where *your* postman sounds like he'd like to be!
Maybe you can convince one of your flower-stealing little old ladies to get to know him; bribe her with some guilt-free cuttings if necessary.
She could be his postmistress, and you'll have solved a couple of problems in one go. Despite everything, I feel a little sorry for the old fellow; quite possibly he's just lonely.