Hey ho the perils of separation!
All of a sudden financial independance has become a necessity because Darling Mark is off on a Mediterranean cruise with work for the next ten days and has all but emptied the coffers.
He has also kindly told me that we will have to "review our living arrangements " in the next two months and would Finley and I like to move to a "less expensive area" as he sees no way of supporting us, this lovely little house and his new single life at the same time!
Well I don’t think so really do you? If I have to fight tooth and nail I will be keeping my home, no matter what. I don’t expect him to pay for my shoes but hell, I insist he helps me keep a roof over our baby’s head!
And so I have a choice: either it is back into the world of work, and all the childcare problems etc that involves or I have to find a way to make
Oh but isn’t money yukky?? Is it silly to be so scared?
In the short term I have a fabulous stencilling job this week, so I won’t be around much. Finley is being taken off my hands by my ever wonderful parents and I shall have the utter, utter bliss of being in a divinely peaceful house, creating patterns on creamy white walls, with just my thoughts for company.
All this and they are paying me for the pleasure of something akin to
We will live to fight another week. Day by day right?
P.S: Have you all seen the new Store Cupboard– all the natural housekeeping recipes in one place?
oh lord, Alison – what the hell is that man thinking. My ex cleaned out our bank account too, when he left me. He left me with twenty dollars and two children – and went on a lovely little trip to Western Australia. You will get through this, it will be hard but you will. Have fun with the stencilling job & what wonderful parents you have. I am sure that your sis is supporting you too.
By the way – get yourself a good solicitor or barrister – not sure what the laws are there but Mark has no right to clean the coffers out at all. Keep a log of every single thing that he takes and every cent that he spends out of your account. Need advice or support just email me, any old time.
I have all sorts of not-so-nice thoughts about Mark's requests to you regarding living arrangements, but I will keep them to myself….:)
I'm all with Ms*Robyn…you need to get yourself a lawyer ASAP…
As far as making BrocanteHome something that can pay your bills, I'm all for it!!! I think that you used to sell memberships? Might be time to start again…I'd be the first in line to sign up!
Have fun with your stenciling job!
It's so hard when 'the new found freedom' allows the leaving partner to be so detached.I promised no judging but it's hard!I agree with Ms Robyn you need a solicitor even if there is stilla chance everything will work out well in the end.You have to safeguard yours and Finleys future and home.
The paid therapy sounds ideal:)
Love, love the store cupboard, thank you for adding that. I love your wonderful recipes.
Sounds like Evil Mark just added the cherrie on top. Gosh, Alison be strong.
Thinking of you,
Alison I am almost speechless at the audacity of that man!I agree get a solicitor show him you mean business,and talking of business turn Brocante Home into a paying website,you know everyone would be willing to pay,think about it,if you need any advice about becoming self employed,email me,there are loads of things available,I have only been working for myself for a year so I have learned a lot about what is currently up for grabs in the way of funds etc.Be strong,you are an amazing,vibrant,talented woman,enjoy your stencilling!
I like that! Getting paid for meditative work part. Perhaps the painting is a way to bring in some extra cash. You might want to be on the lookout for divine ideas like that that just sort of pop up like gifts for you at this time. The universe has a wonderful way of taking care of us when we are in need of a little more nurturing than before. Sending strength, guidence and wisdom your way. You are an amazing person and I just know you will walk forward through this.
If you find a way for BrocanteHome to support you and Finley, I will be the first to join, subscribe, whatever you had in mind …!!!
ali, i'm very proud of you for getting the stenciling job and for seeing it in a very positive light…i'm also very relieved to read that you have parental support!!! that's important at times like this. stay strong….all our love, thoughts, and prayers are with you and finley…
Get a lawyer and be laser brained about getting a decent settlement. This will pay off down the road. Guts of steel also help. I have seen women walk away with very little because they have been beaten so flat emotionally.
Get everything you are entitled to.
Oh my, I have been so deep in my own misery, that I totally missed yours. I am so sorry… I can just imagine what you are feeling, even not knowing the details. Losing someone you love(ed) is so difficult… Blessings to you and yours…
I'm not going to say a bad word about men, really I'm not. My tongue is bleeding I'm biting down on it so hard!
I'm with the others – get a lawyer! I walked away with nothing and built myself back up, so it can be done, but it's the hard way. Yes, Mark should make sure you and Finley have a roof over your heads – it's the very least he will have to do.
I know it's hard, but you can't afford to be emotional over the financial side of things – you have your babba to look after.
And yes, start selling those subscriptions! You may exhaust yourself for a while, but in the end it will all work out beautifully, just you wait and see.
Much love xxx
Agreed. Get a lawyer and start things in motion while he's off getting a suntan. It's just taking care of you two. And we'd all be happy to pay for subscriptions. Just do what you need to. We're behind you 100%.
Oh Alison, I bet you wish you were the one on that cruise at the moment. You sure need it. Good on you, only a few weeks and you already have a job. I second everyone else who has said they are more than willing to subscribe to Brocante Home. You have made such a difference to my life, it is the least little thing I can do. I agree too that you need a lawyer. Unfortunately, when relationships go a bit haywire, the first thing that seems to come to mind is money. Did you do that stencilling on that picture you have posted? If only I had the money, you could come and stencil my house in Australia. Take care and even though it is hard, think that the best thing that has come out of your relationship is your darling Finley. So glad you have some parental support too. Thinking of you.
Allison, I feared this step was coming for you. I am so sorry you will have to earn an income while you still have a little one.
But you can do it!
You are such a talented writer, are you exploring that option?
and by all means, I will happily pay for a subscription to your lovely newsletter. You just set it up and funds will be set as soon as you do.
Ya know… I am always grateful when someone shows me their true colors and who they really are and I dont have to guess or make assumptions or think the worst of them.. they just show me and I say thank you god and as I tell my kids its a gift …even though it hurts… get a lawyer for you and Finley..You need someone who is emotionally not involved and understands your babies rights. charging subscription for your site is a good idea.
I agree with everyone 100%. I am more than happy to pay for a subscription to this site – just tell me how much and where to send my payment. Alison, have you thought about marketing your natural cleaners? I also agree that you need a family law attorney, as well as a good intellectual property attorney with respect to your business ideas. If anyone can make a living from doing what they love, it's you. We are all here to cheer you on. What happened with Mark is just not fair, and you are going to feel 1,000 different emotions in the months to come. Be strong, and know that we all admire and care for you.
I am glad you are creating, writing, thinking to keeping your home, and looking at your options. You are strong, you have faithful loving parents nearby, and most of all a baby who will motivate you each and everyday to be your best!
Alison, be who you are, strive for that which you have gracefully showed us, do what you have to do with class and grace, we are here, tell us how to help you.
Things will turn around for you. And to start, subscriptions are an excellent idea. I love all that you do here, and there must be a way to make it profitable.
My sister is going thru the same thing after 17 years. Why is it so easy for men to walk away? Sending you the best of Wishes,
Alison, please get a good attorney. Who does he think he is, deciding to walk out and turn your life upside down and then tell you to leave the home you have created for your child? Finley needs his home to stay the same as most everything else in his little life is changing. I'm proud of you for having the courage to tell Mark that you're not leaving-hold onto that courage. I support the idea of BrocanteHome, so if you need to sell subscriptions, sign me up! Best wishes, you're amazing.
I've been eavesdropping on your life for a while now through your fab site. Just wanted to say I think you are doing brilliantly and the stencilling looks gorgeous.
On the bright side no more men's pants to wash for a while!